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Old 12-20-2013, 10:29 AM
 
170 posts, read 310,707 times
Reputation: 215

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I absolutely hate it. It's so tiring to keep a straight face and sound optimistic. I know that people are trying to be nice when they ask you, "How's the job search going?", but really it's so soul-crushing that I've started avoiding people altogether. There's this old guy I see every day in the sauna at my gym around 4 p.m. and will always ask me how the job search is going. I started going to the gym at a different time of the day to avoid him. Right now I actually have zero prospects, so I've resorted to telling partial lies if I ever have the displeasure of running into someone who asks about my job search. For instance, I'll say, "I'm still interviewing with Amazon," which is technically true since they never gave me a denial notice last week when they were supposedly going to make a decision. After I had interviewed there, my parents were asking me every day, "Did you hear back from Amazon? Did you hear back from Amazon? Have you heard back from Amazon yet?" I'm dreading all the gatherings I have to go to with family friends this holiday season. It's been the same old thing for 10 months. Someone will ask about my job search, I'll fein optimism, and then they'll say, "Oh, something will show up! I believe in you! You're a smart guy. We've been praying for you." It has no effect on me when people say that. Maybe at the beginning of my job search it would've made me feel encouraged, but now it just sounds like background noise and has no emotional effect on me.

[/RANT]
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:51 AM
 
31 posts, read 56,213 times
Reputation: 42
I understand. They probably don't realize the effect this is having on you though.

My in-laws are especially bad about it. Constantly inquiring about my first job I had after college and sharing their opinions of how much I made. Now that I'm searching for a new job, I try not to share too much with them. I'll tell them about an upcoming interview (let's say, Amazon), and they'll tell everyone they meet that I'm now working at Amazon.

Whenever the mention it, maybe you should try saying something like, "Oh, you know, same old thing. But actually, how are you doing? How are the kids/the wife/the cats?" People love to talk about themselves.
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:54 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,993,970 times
Reputation: 3702
I agree wtih jpegg, turn it around on them.

"It's going, how are you?"
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:40 PM
 
1,728 posts, read 3,047,217 times
Reputation: 1052
Did you hear back from Amazon?
If not, let it go and try other not-so popular companies.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:48 PM
 
170 posts, read 310,707 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by GTRdad View Post
Did you hear back from Amazon?
If not, let it go and try other not-so popular companies.
I have.

Do I need to explain this again? When you're looking for entry-level jobs, it's not easier to get one at a smaller company. From my 10 months of job searching I've found that smaller companies have the highest standards when it comes to "entry-level" positions. Bigger companies, having lots of extra cash, expanding like crazy, taking up lots of new projects, are more able to take a risk and hire a recent college graduate who doesn't have much experience.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:52 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,815 posts, read 54,503,450 times
Reputation: 31124
People who haven't been in that position before don't understand what you are going through, and they are just trying to be encouraging without realizing that it can have the opposite effect. I wonder if any of them could actually be helpful, if you asked if they had any contacts or knowledge of openings where they work.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:55 PM
 
2,566 posts, read 2,928,457 times
Reputation: 2785
When you are in between jobs, it can be hard not to take comments or questions about job seeking personally. Some relatives or even friends can make it worse by bugging you than acquaintances since you know such people better. If I were you, I would keep trying to locate people to talk to about possible jobs (especially acquaintances / or friends of friends). I've been in the same boat as you before, it can be harder to find something as time marches on.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:58 PM
 
1,728 posts, read 3,047,217 times
Reputation: 1052
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
People who haven't been in that position before don't understand what you are going through, and they are just trying to be encouraging without realizing that it can have the opposite effect. I wonder if any of them could actually be helpful, if you asked if they had any contacts or knowledge of openings where they work.
I have a degree in Electronics and communications engineering and my first job was refurbishing deskphones that were destined to go to the junk yards IN JAPAN (phones are japanese too). As a promotion from that, I got to measure the amount of phone cabling needed to install the phones at offices of really shady operations in really crummy buildings.
I get to put Telecoms Engineer on my resume though.
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Old 12-20-2013, 02:12 PM
 
2,890 posts, read 5,394,153 times
Reputation: 4611
Why would someone ask you, unless you told them your were job hunting?

If you don't want people to care about your personal life, don't let them in on it.
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Old 12-20-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: SC
389 posts, read 568,573 times
Reputation: 611
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSoundOfMuzak View Post
I absolutely hate it. It's so tiring to keep a straight face and sound optimistic. I know that people are trying to be nice when they ask you, "How's the job search going?", but really it's so soul-crushing that I've started avoiding people altogether. There's this old guy I see every day in the sauna at my gym around 4 p.m. and will always ask me how the job search is going. I started going to the gym at a different time of the day to avoid him. Right now I actually have zero prospects, so I've resorted to telling partial lies if I ever have the displeasure of running into someone who asks about my job search. For instance, I'll say, "I'm still interviewing with Amazon," which is technically true since they never gave me a denial notice last week when they were supposedly going to make a decision. After I had interviewed there, my parents were asking me every day, "Did you hear back from Amazon? Did you hear back from Amazon? Have you heard back from Amazon yet?" I'm dreading all the gatherings I have to go to with family friends this holiday season. It's been the same old thing for 10 months. Someone will ask about my job search, I'll fein optimism, and then they'll say, "Oh, something will show up! I believe in you! You're a smart guy. We've been praying for you." It has no effect on me when people say that. Maybe at the beginning of my job search it would've made me feel encouraged, but now it just sounds like background noise and has no emotional effect on me.

[/RANT]
I think anybody who has been job-searching for a significant period of time feels the same way. I've been there multiple times. You're not alone.
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