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Old 12-31-2013, 08:12 PM
 
170 posts, read 310,964 times
Reputation: 215

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I have never had my self-esteem crushed as much as I have with job searching in the past 10 months. Denial after denial has given me massive feelings of inferiority. The world of good careers feels like some exclusive club that I have been denied from. I feel that I'm not smart enough, not good looking enough, not worth anything to society.

As a result, I've become increasingly motivated to succeed. I feel that I need to prove my worth to the world. I am confident that I will some day get into this club that has rejected me thus far. When I do, I think that my deep-seeded feelings of inferiority that have been planted by job searching will manifest themselves in radical ways.

I can see myself developing an arrogant stride, flaunting my position of power, looking down on people who aren't as successful as me. I will get an ego boost from being on the opposite side of the table in an interview, get a big thrill from denying the desperate job seekers who are trying to kiss my ass. I will get ahead the same way that everyone else does: by knowing how to say the right things at the right time to the right people. It's really just one big game. The system does not reward honesty.

This is going to a big change in my psychology. Does it sound weird to you? I don't think it is. I see most people as motivated by an underlying need to prove themselves to the world.
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Old 12-31-2013, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
9,010 posts, read 8,436,790 times
Reputation: 15621
So, rather than having some empathy for jobseekers based upon a common experience, you are going to thrive by fostering an atmosphere of misery and subservience in others.

That's rather sociopathic.
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Old 12-31-2013, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,510 posts, read 6,142,963 times
Reputation: 7288
Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrains View Post
So, rather than having some empathy for jobseekers based upon a common experience, you are going to thrive by fostering an atmosphere of misery and subservience in others.

That's rather sociopathic.
Yup. Nothing more to be said in this thread.
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Old 12-31-2013, 09:05 PM
 
313 posts, read 288,935 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSoundOfMuzak View Post
I have never had my self-esteem crushed as much as I have with job searching in the past 10 months. Denial after denial has given me massive feelings of inferiority. The world of good careers feels like some exclusive club that I have been denied from. I feel that I'm not smart enough, not good looking enough, not worth anything to society.

As a result, I've become increasingly motivated to succeed. I feel that I need to prove my worth to the world. I am confident that I will some day get into this club that has rejected me thus far. When I do, I think that my deep-seeded feelings of inferiority that have been planted by job searching will manifest themselves in radical ways.

I can see myself developing an arrogant stride, flaunting my position of power, looking down on people who aren't as successful as me. I will get an ego boost from being on the opposite side of the table in an interview, get a big thrill from denying the desperate job seekers who are trying to kiss my ass. I will get ahead the same way that everyone else does: by knowing how to say the right things at the right time to the right people. It's really just one big game. The system does not reward honesty.

This is going to a big change in my psychology. Does it sound weird to you? I don't think it is. I see most people as motivated by an underlying need to prove themselves to the world.
I understand where you are coming from my friend. I've applied to so many jobs in the past couple of years and have either been denied from or ignored by 97% of them. They were all jobs that I had the qualifications for. And yes, to me the world of good careers where you actually have a path to follow seems like an exclusive club. I have a BS in engineering from a good school and am working on a masters, yet I still can't seem to land that first software dev job.

However, when you finally get that gig that you have been looking for, DO NOT ever forget from where you came. Keep humble and remember your roots. It is so easy to get an ego these days and become arrogant. Remember, pride goes before the fall. I've been knocked down many times after building up my pride. Instead of perpetuating the same situation you are in, you'll have a chance to effect change as you will understand how a candidate feels on the other side of the table.
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Old 12-31-2013, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Out West
22,779 posts, read 16,859,428 times
Reputation: 26316
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSoundOfMuzak View Post
I have never had my self-esteem crushed as much as I have with job searching in the past 10 months. Denial after denial has given me massive feelings of inferiority. The world of good careers feels like some exclusive club that I have been denied from. I feel that I'm not smart enough, not good looking enough, not worth anything to society.

As a result, I've become increasingly motivated to succeed. I feel that I need to prove my worth to the world. I am confident that I will some day get into this club that has rejected me thus far. When I do, I think that my deep-seeded feelings of inferiority that have been planted by job searching will manifest themselves in radical ways.

I can see myself developing an arrogant stride, flaunting my position of power, looking down on people who aren't as successful as me. I will get an ego boost from being on the opposite side of the table in an interview, get a big thrill from denying the desperate job seekers who are trying to kiss my ass. I will get ahead the same way that everyone else does: by knowing how to say the right things at the right time to the right people. It's really just one big game. The system does not reward honesty.

This is going to a big change in my psychology. Does it sound weird to you? I don't think it is. I see most people as motivated by an underlying need to prove themselves to the world.
Right now you are bitter, hurt, jealous, and seriously pissed off. It's one thing to fantasize about getting your revenge on people, it's another to act it out. Keep in mind, if you do become successful, anyone who is on the other side of the table from you is NOT at fault for your current situation. Don't take it out on them, they had nothing to do with it.

Now, if you ever get the opportunity to interview with someone who once had power over you, and treated you poorly....well......I can see the temptation. But don't. Rise above it. If you want to prove your worth to the world, it's not just about how much money you can make and what position you hold, it's also about your character. No one is impressed by an arrogant ass hell bent on making the world pay for his past miseries.
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Old 01-01-2014, 06:45 AM
 
1,923 posts, read 2,073,091 times
Reputation: 1818
I've been talking about this to my parents. It's gone beyond just the economy or getting a job, it's like a personal thing. Not being able to find work has worn me down psychologically. It's like teasing a dog or lion with a piece of steak. Keep teasing it and when you put your hand in the cage he's gonna bite your hand off. Joe Carbone from PTE mentioned it on PBS. Long term unemployment damages your mind.
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:01 AM
 
2,098 posts, read 1,863,779 times
Reputation: 2685
So how does bitterness help your situation?
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
8,820 posts, read 13,316,033 times
Reputation: 15995
You don't want to turn from abused to abuser and perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:23 AM
 
473 posts, read 646,051 times
Reputation: 402
It seems like this topic may be more appropriate in the Mental Health or Psychology subforums.
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Old 01-01-2014, 11:17 AM
 
170 posts, read 310,964 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by deposite View Post
So how does bitterness help your situation?
It's increasingly motivating me to get a job
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