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Old 01-06-2014, 08:09 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,890 times
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Hello everyone!
I'm from Israel. Recently I have been looking for a job in position of Help Desk or System Administrator and I've stumbled upon many ads that require good English knowledge and therefore ask for CVs written in English. My English is not very bad, but because I'm not a native speaker there may be spelling errors or bad wording in my CV. Because of this I need someone with better English knowledge to check it. I will be very grateful to receive assistance on the matter from this great forum.

P.S the Hebrew version of my CV is very successful so there is no need to change its structure, please focus mainly on my wording and spelling. Although any recommendations of improvement will be welcomed.

Here's my CV:

Thank you in advance!
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Old 01-06-2014, 08:49 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 8,648,695 times
Reputation: 6514
I would revise your professional experience:

Place your job title, dates of employment
company name
then bullet in your responsibilities/accomplishments
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:15 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,890 times
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Thank you for your response, MJ7.
My only experience in IT field is my military service. I'm looking for my first job after demobilization. Everything I wrote under professional experience title I acquired during my service or high school. Of course if I had any other IT related experience I would mention it above. As I already mentioned, my Hebrew version of this CV is doing pretty well. I only seek to translate it the best way possible in order to unlock more opportunities to find a job and be hired faster.

Basically I want you to read my CV and point out if you find any stupid errors or phrases I used wrong and other similar things so I'll fix them before sending the CV.
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:38 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 8,648,695 times
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Teamwork player, change to just team player
Testing hardware faults experience, change to hardware troubleshooting
Served as system admin., change to System Administrator school of xxx at a rank of Staff Sergeant
Self learning, change to Self-learning
Capitalize Native Speaker, etc.
Do not rate your skills, do not say good or very good, just put the skills.
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:48 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,890 times
Reputation: 10
Thank you MJ7.
These kind of directions was exactly what I was looking for.
But I'm sure there have to be more things to fix.
For example, under personal skills I wrote: "performing well under pressure". Is this correct way to say it? It sounds to me as the word "perform" is more relevant to acting or dancing, like he is a good performer...
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Old 01-06-2014, 10:00 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 8,648,695 times
Reputation: 6514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anterkod View Post
Thank you MJ7.
These kind of directions was exactly what I was looking for.
But I'm sure there have to be more things to fix.
For example, under personal skills I wrote: "performing well under pressure". Is this correct way to say it? It sounds to me as the word "perform" is more relevant to acting or dancing, like he is a good performer...
Those small things are what goes into managing time and projects well, I would not list performs well under pressure. I would list time management/project management if they apply to your background.
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