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Old 01-22-2014, 11:12 AM
 
50 posts, read 67,849 times
Reputation: 119

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So got word that I did not get a job I interviewed for. I am depressed but pressing forward.

My emotions have ranged from feeling daft, to feeling like perhaps it wasn't the best fit, to feeling anxious and worried.

What are employers looking for? Is the competition just that much intense? Do I just suck as a person?

Before my issues with my manager, I used to see myself as pretty good. Got good reviews all the time, was driven, proactive, volunteered for more work, got along with most people. Life was good.

Now, since my issues, I am struggling to be positive. I am trying really hard not to allow the bullying infect my sense of self. I am fighting to not internalize the negative, constant criticism. It is not easy.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just want to know how to stay positive despite all the rejections and submitting your resume into the Taleo black hole. How do you keep your head high, when at the back of your mind, you know that you might not have a job soon.

How do you stay positive?
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
206 posts, read 345,416 times
Reputation: 306
If you were bullied in your last job, you are probably -- genuinely -- suffering from a form of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I don't mean to at all belittle the PTSD of those who have been in combat, but the feelings you are having are exclusively due to the bully's behavior that you had to endure.

I don't know you, so I don't know if you're a good person or a good worker -- but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt! You were turned down for one job, right? That means nothing. You may be turned down for more jobs before you finally land someplace.

You know how good you are. Don't let the bully, or one turn-down, define what you think of yourself and how you feel.
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Old 01-22-2014, 11:53 AM
 
Location: NJ
18,677 posts, read 17,094,161 times
Reputation: 7282
Don't expect to get every job you interview for, particularly if it is a a first of several rounds interviewing stage. At that point, you are most likely one of several. At the final round, you are likely one of 3 (minimum). That still means a 67% failure rate at that round, assuming the finalists have similar backgrounds.
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 3,799,215 times
Reputation: 4401
Alright. Take out MS Word type "NO" and then copy and paste it 90 other times. Write "YES" at the end. For every interview (if you don't get an interview it doesn't count or if there are multiple interviews for the same position it is just one no), if you don't get the job cross off a "NO" because you are one more "NO" closer to "YES".

You will eventually cross off some "NO"s before you get to circle the "YES".... but it worked to keep me motivated. I kept it hung up at my cubicle. I was the only one who knew what that meant....
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
8,826 posts, read 13,326,227 times
Reputation: 16006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tangirl32 View Post
So got word that I did not get a job I interviewed for. I am depressed but pressing forward.

My emotions have ranged from feeling daft, to feeling like perhaps it wasn't the best fit, to feeling anxious and worried.

What are employers looking for? Is the competition just that much intense? Do I just suck as a person?

Before my issues with my manager, I used to see myself as pretty good. Got good reviews all the time, was driven, proactive, volunteered for more work, got along with most people. Life was good.

Now, since my issues, I am struggling to be positive. I am trying really hard not to allow the bullying infect my sense of self. I am fighting to not internalize the negative, constant criticism. It is not easy.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just want to know how to stay positive despite all the rejections and submitting your resume into the Taleo black hole. How do you keep your head high, when at the back of your mind, you know that you might not have a job soon.

How do you stay positive?
Randomlikeme is right. You are going to get jerked arround, treated badly, rejected, lowballed etc many times until you get a good offer. That is the way things go nowadays. As for what employers are looking for. There is really no way to tell. The interview and hiring process is such bull excrement now adays and so devoid of logical bases that it is impossible to guess. For one thing hiring managers are looking for budy budies that they want to hang out with, other are going to tear people apart, jump to crazy conclusions based on their personal biases and their amatuer attempt to psychanalyze people, and pat themself on the back with self delusion at having prevented a bad hire. Anything you do will be considering wrong by at least some hiring mangers and will cause them to see you as a bad candidate.
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:26 PM
 
50 posts, read 67,849 times
Reputation: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow Saltbox View Post
If you were bullied in your last job, you are probably -- genuinely -- suffering from a form of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I don't mean to at all belittle the PTSD of those who have been in combat, but the feelings you are having are exclusively due to the bully's behavior that you had to endure.

I don't know you, so I don't know if you're a good person or a good worker -- but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt! You were turned down for one job, right? That means nothing. You may be turned down for more jobs before you finally land someplace.

You know how good you are. Don't let the bully, or one turn-down, define what you think of yourself and how you feel.

I think you might be correct. This experience has shaken me to the core. I won't be surprised that I have some form of PTSD. But I am trying really hard to fight against those thoughts. It is why I post here and applying a lot
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:41 PM
 
50 posts, read 67,849 times
Reputation: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSchemist80 View Post
Randomlikeme is right. You are going to get jerked arround, treated badly, rejected, lowballed etc many times until you get a good offer. That is the way things go nowadays. As for what employers are looking for. There is really no way to tell. The interview and hiring process is such bull excrement now adays and so devoid of logical bases that it is impossible to guess. For one thing hiring managers are looking for budy budies that they want to hang out with, other are going to tear people apart, jump to crazy conclusions based on their personal biases and their amatuer attempt to psychanalyze people, and pat themself on the back with self delusion at having prevented a bad hire. Anything you do will be considering wrong by at least some hiring mangers and will cause them to see you as a bad candidate.

I am glad you wrote this. I had a panel interview where I got the sense that one of the interviewers , the quiet one, was trying to psychoanalyze me. I was barraged with questions, it was so invasive and went beyond the job description. They asked me about my past, my schooling, how I adapted to different schools, it was crazy.
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Old 01-22-2014, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 3,799,215 times
Reputation: 4401
When you are applying, what are your targets?

Are you targeting anything you feel you might maybe qualify for or are you trying to target specific industries where you have experience?

I do not have an MBA; however, my undergraduate degree is in finance. I was stuck in a job with a manager that berated me, because I had better analytical skills than she did and she felt threatened. I wouldn't normally say that, because it comes across as arrogant, but in this case a manager of accounts reconciliation was an English major who was just very good at sucking up to her bosses to get into higher level positions. On one report, a number would come out negative because it was money owed to us rather than on hand. When a chief accounting officer asked her this, her response was just, "let's just change the sign on that!" .... I'm not joking.

I was passed over for many internal promotion opportunities and overheard her on a call with one of the managers I applied with saying I was "stupid." Literally! I couldn't get anywhere within the company because she would block any attempt I had to exit. My favorite one was her placing me on a PIP because I talked to a security guard at our office for five minutes, which was "excessive time away from my workstation."

I applied for anything and everything.... but I noticed I had more interviews when I specifically targeted companies. I had property management experience and healthcare experience. I used experiences I had with certain software to apply for positions and I targeted all local companies within the same industry. Having a more targeted approach will help you to effectively manage the amount of time you spend applying and interviewing.

I was lucky. Really lucky. When I took my job search outside of the company, I went on four interviews and the fourth resulted in a job offer with a manager I love. Had I not been targeting where my experience truly lied, then I doubt it would have been so successful.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:04 PM
 
333 posts, read 326,986 times
Reputation: 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tangirl32 View Post
So got word that I did not get a job I interviewed for. I am depressed but pressing forward.

My emotions have ranged from feeling daft, to feeling like perhaps it wasn't the best fit, to feeling anxious and worried.

What are employers looking for? Is the competition just that much intense? Do I just suck as a person?

Before my issues with my manager, I used to see myself as pretty good. Got good reviews all the time, was driven, proactive, volunteered for more work, got along with most people. Life was good.

Now, since my issues, I am struggling to be positive. I am trying really hard not to allow the bullying infect my sense of self. I am fighting to not internalize the negative, constant criticism. It is not easy.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just want to know how to stay positive despite all the rejections and submitting your resume into the Taleo black hole. How do you keep your head high, when at the back of your mind, you know that you might not have a job soon.

How do you stay positive?
It's really hard. I in a sense left my old job before I secured a new job due to bullying, and the fact after a long hard look it wasn't what I wanted to do. I'm a little fortunate to have financial help from family, and I'm young, 25, so I'm still in the process getting my feet wet into a career field that I want to. Nowadays switching careers is nearly impossible as most jobs want you to have direct experience in that field only, and they ignore applicable experience.

The only thing I can say to stay positive is keep thinking about what you want out of life. Employers nowadays have gotten so picky and out of touch that they even can't figure out what they want. I've seen job apps that said you should only have 2-4 years of professional experience, but then want 8 years of consulting with healthcare clients. I get a sense most don't even read what they put as the list of requirements contradict each other, or there are 5 people on the planet that fit their wish list. Then workplace bullying seems more and more common nowadays as some managers and senior workers act like they own you as a commodity. I truly feel that more and more companies treat their employees as commodities then people, and they can't figure out why morale is so low when they belittle everyone and find ways to lay them off.

Also I approach it now it's just business. They don't want me, fine, then it wasn't meant to be. Kinda like dating as both have emotional strings and complications attach. With jobs as in relationships things don't work out, and you move on despite how annoying and painful it can be. I wish you the best as I'm in the same boat, and a lot of people are.
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Old 01-22-2014, 01:05 PM
 
50 posts, read 67,849 times
Reputation: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlikeme View Post
When you are applying, what are your targets?

Are you targeting anything you feel you might maybe qualify for or are you trying to target specific industries where you have experience?

I do not have an MBA; however, my undergraduate degree is in finance. I was stuck in a job with a manager that berated me, because I had better analytical skills than she did and she felt threatened. I wouldn't normally say that, because it comes across as arrogant, but in this case a manager of accounts reconciliation was an English major who was just very good at sucking up to her bosses to get into higher level positions. On one report, a number would come out negative because it was money owed to us rather than on hand. When a chief accounting officer asked her this, her response was just, "let's just change the sign on that!" .... I'm not joking.

I was passed over for many internal promotion opportunities and overheard her on a call with one of the managers I applied with saying I was "stupid." Literally! I couldn't get anywhere within the company because she would block any attempt I had to exit. My favorite one was her placing me on a PIP because I talked to a security guard at our office for five minutes, which was "excessive time away from my workstation."

I applied for anything and everything.... but I noticed I had more interviews when I specifically targeted companies. I had property management experience and healthcare experience. I used experiences I had with certain software to apply for positions and I targeted all local companies within the same industry. Having a more targeted approach will help you to effectively manage the amount of time you spend applying and interviewing.

I was lucky. Really lucky. When I took my job search outside of the company, I went on four interviews and the fourth resulted in a job offer with a manager I love. Had I not been targeting where my experience truly lied, then I doubt it would have been so successful.
randomlikemike. I work in finance, but I am applying to other industries. I will admit that due to my desire to get out of this toxic place, I have turned in my application for jobs that are a stretch. but for the most part, I am looking at lateral, equitable roles.
I have even increased my odds by applying out of state. I have got a few interviews but not nailed anything.

Thank you for sharing your experience. it makes me feel not alone. I will try to target my job search more.
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