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Old 04-23-2014, 06:11 AM
 
13 posts, read 25,201 times
Reputation: 65

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I had an interview for a job yesterday and left in tears!

It was for an Executive Assistant position for a high level senior manager at a very highly respected company. (I was an Office Manager for twenty years until last week, so have similar experience to the needs of an executive assistant.)

From the moment my potential future boss and I looked each other in the eyes- there was conflict. Do you ever meet people and determine immediately you don't want to spend another minute with them? An instant dislike, terrible personal and professional chemistry, and a feeling of unease and discomfort. Well that is this guy times 1000! I don't think I had ever met anyone who turned me off so much so quickly.

The man kept asking me questions and I just wanted to get out of there. The interview got worse and worse and I felt so uncomfortable. Finally he took me out of my misery after talking for almost two hours.

What should I do in this situation if it happens again? Should I have just made some excuses and left when I started to feel uncomfortable, or stick it out till the end?

(I have not interviewed for a job for twenty years. I am out of practice!)
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:25 AM
 
Location: St. Mary's County, Maryland
165 posts, read 194,000 times
Reputation: 321
You could stick it out until the end because you might not get hired by the ones who make you uncomfortable anyway. That said, I have left at least one interview some years ago because the particular job ended up sounding like just the type I was trying to make a break from. I ended up admitting to the woman that I wanted to end the interview and the reasons why I was not interested.

When I interviewed for the job I now inhabit, the manager's voice was gruff, and he was looking at me over his reading glasses. That made me uneasy. I have since learned that we share some of the same personality traits, as we had a slight falling out, and I noticed that he felt as bad about it as I did and handled it the way I would have.

So, you never know in the long run whether or not someone who initially makes you uneasy will always do so. Even so, you may be able to work for him or her but just not be able to make a lot of conversation. That's OK.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:27 AM
 
Location: broke leftist craphole Illizuela
10,326 posts, read 17,382,316 times
Reputation: 20327
Can you be more specific. I find interviews to be a poor sampling time for behavior. It is a time of high stress and phoniness with lame HR type questions. All the same, if someone is a jerk as an interviewer I usually assume they are an arogant jerk to work for though some people have the insane theory that a hostile interview selects for better candidates.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:04 AM
 
Location: broke leftist craphole Illizuela
10,326 posts, read 17,382,316 times
Reputation: 20327
Yea that sounds like total jerk. I'd keep looking.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:07 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,089,650 times
Reputation: 19556
Quote:
Originally Posted by I am unemployed View Post
You want more specifics: Incredibly intimidating. Smirked, rolled his eyes, disgusted looks, long silences, talked down to me, acted like I was lying to him, angry tone to his voice, looked at my breasts, criticized my actions and career choices, etc.
Sounds like it's best not getting a job at this place. We cant always tell what it will be like working for someone during an interview, But this one was clear to you. Eye rolling and making faces during the interview is childish and stupid.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:20 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
I've had this happen for similar roles and ended up getting hired. The person just liked to put people on the spot and gauge your backbone, he was also a bit of a yeller and cut people off left and right ("that wasn't what I asked you!"). Lots of people couldn't handle it. It was tough in the beginning, but eventually I earned his respect and was able to close the door from time to time and give him what he needed to hear directly. As an EA, especially an experienced one, you have to have confidence in your ability and know that your strength is behind the scenes. Take a quiet / silent role most of the time, and be open, direct, and verbal behind the closed doors. He very well might have been testing you and the right EA for that person would have held their ground and managed up.

Just didn't sound like a good fit for you.

In the end, this person became a great mentor to me (I was one of the few people he trusted) and he's remained a strong professionally contact and allie.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:26 AM
 
545 posts, read 1,480,916 times
Reputation: 832
When interviewing, the company is trying to determine if you are going to be good match for them. You should be doing the same thing to them. If you know for sure in the middle of the interview that you don't want to work there and they're making you uncomfortable, I'd end it early and spare everyone's time. It's perfectly acceptable to tell them that you don't think it's a good match.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:29 AM
 
Location: GA
399 posts, read 567,327 times
Reputation: 1163
A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed for a position 70 miles from me (which wasn't a problem) but when we sat down to discuss the position about 15 minutes into questioning he says "You know, I make it a personal policy of mine not to hire anyone with a legal or law enforcement background."

Once I got over the initial shock, I asked him if I could be candid with him (to which he said sure) and I said to him that if he makes it a personal policy of his not to hire anyone with a legal or law enforcement background, I wonder why he'd invite me down especially knowing how far I had to drive to get here. He admitted he didn't read any of the resumes and just had someone call people and schedule appointments.

Strikes one and two were that he (1) failed to introduce himself until I asked him who he was and (2) didn't offer to shake my hand. After that statement, I thanked him for his time and left. There were so many things wrong with that place that stuck out at me within 2 minutes of being inside that office that I wouldn't have taken that position if they offered me double.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:40 AM
 
552 posts, read 833,219 times
Reputation: 1066
no biggie, just move on..... this happens more than you think, even if you think the interview went well.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:52 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,665 posts, read 69,567,744 times
Reputation: 26727
Quote:
Originally Posted by I am unemployed View Post
Should I have just made some excuses and left when I started to feel uncomfortable, or stick it out till the end?
Judging from your description of the potential boss's behavior, I wouldn't have stuck around for two hours and likely not even more than half an hour. It's perfectly acceptable to politely end an interview. "I appreciate your time but this won't be a good fit for me ..."
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