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Who cares what those people think? You don't want to work there anyway. I think you were put in a tight spot, it's hard for me to say what I would have done. The guy sounds like he was high or mentally ill. You were expecting to have a professional interview and the guy acts like a lunatic, putting you in a very uncomfortable situation. What he did not only reflected poorly on himself but his company as well. She shouldn't have been in that position period.
Right. Always change who you are to match the behavior of the fools around you. Doesn't make sense, but do it anyway.
Nobody is saying don't respond, but to lower yourself so now you look like you also have a screw loose, is stupid.
I don't consider the OP's actions to be lowering himself. If you know anything about NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) it's about matching someone else's syntax to communicate with him. I doubt if he stood up and said "Good day, Sir." and left the interviewer would have chased after him in the parking lot. As strange as it sounds, in giving back NLP to someone else they respond just like this interviewer did.
I don't know if that was the intention of the OP since he was just likely frustrated and upset by the behavior, but his response was the right thing even if he badly wanted the job there. No joke, NLP works.
Interesting feedback on this thread. Half of the people criticized you for "lowering" yourself to the interviewer's level. The other half cheered you on for "sticking it up" to Corporate America.
Based on what you wrote in your post:
1. The interviewer said "shut up." Factual. This is indeed unusual and inappropriate for an interview, regardless of what you may or may not have said in the interview beforehand.
2. He looked at you in a "weird" manner. Subjective. That's your perspective and quite different from something that actually happened, which is his saying "shut up" aloud.
3. The HR person looked stunned. Subjective, but if true, suggests that this was not normal behavior and that the HR person had not encountered this kind of behavior in the interviewer beforehand.
4. You cursed him off and left the office. Factual.
5. He ran after you, apologizing. Factual.
6. He said he liked you. Factual.
7. You still cursed him off. Factual.
Here's my take on it: as you explained your education and what you learned, the interviewer was prompted to remember something, perhaps his own education or a relevant project, and while absorbed in his thoughts and listening to you at the same time, accidentally said "shut up" without thinking how it might have sounded. Maybe he really meant to say, "sorry to interrupt you for a moment, but since you said...." but the sentence "shut up" slipped out instead. Some people are like this and you will find very high performing, high achieving brains who still have to remind themselves what the correct polite phrases to use are because when they're fully absorbed in a line of thought, will revert to any quick language that we deem inappropriate in a professional context. Some brains are genuinely like this and I have worked firsthand with people like this. They were brilliant and I had to learn not to take it personally. It was worth it because I learned a great deal from their knowledge and it benefited my professional career.
That would be why he ran after you and apologized profusely. He recognized what he did wrong. But you overreacted. You didn't give him a chance to explain why he might have said "shut up."
Frankly, between the two of you, you came out looking much worse.
Another reason for never overreacting the way you did and for always keeping calm and simply saying, "I'm sorry, but it seems as if this isn't the right workplace for me. I am going to ask if I can leave now and I wish you best of luck in your future endeavors," and quietly leaving the room, is because you never know what will happen down the road.
Let's say it's three or four years later and you're being recruited to work for your ideal company. The job description is perfect for you. The company has a great reputation for a happy and satisfied workforce. The projects are exciting and exactly the type of projects you want to work on. The initial interviews go smoothly and you're very happy with what you see and hear in your future coworkers. You're invited back for another round of interviews and this time you're to meet other executives in the company, not just your potential line manager and even his/her line manager. You're shown into an office. And who's sitting behind the desk? The same man you cursed off. You wouldn't be working with him but his feedback is integral as part of the recruitment process.
Oops.
That you reacted so quickly without allowing him any opportunity to fully apologize and explain, even though you knew he was attempting to do so, and repeatedly cursed him off tells me the company had a lucky escape in seeing that other side in you. It looks like you're not an easy person to work with since you snap so easily and resort to vulgarities and dramatic acts so quickly. I wonder how you'd behave on a high pressure project with looming deadlines and things aren't going so smoothly.
Last edited by Tallybalt; 11-22-2014 at 12:12 AM..
That would have made me double down on cool just to get the job offer. At the point the offer is made, the leverage shifts in favor of the former applicant, who is now the accepted future employee. Rude behavior is a fact of life. It would take much more than the incident described to rattle my cage. The incident was the perfect opportunity for the applicant to demonstrate his ability to work under pressure and handle surprises.
Interesting feedback on this thread. Half of the people criticized you for "lowering" yourself to the interviewer's level. The other half cheered you on for "sticking it up" to Corporate America.
Based on what you wrote in your post:
1. The interviewer said "shut up." Factual. This is indeed unusual and inappropriate for an interview, regardless of what you may or may not have said in the interview beforehand.
2. He looked at you in a "weird" manner. Subjective. That's your perspective and quite different from something that actually happened, which is his saying "shut up" aloud.
3. The HR person looked stunned. Subjective, but if true, suggests that this was not normal behavior and that the HR person had not encountered this kind of behavior in the interviewer beforehand.
4. You cursed him off and left the office. Factual.
5. He ran after you, apologizing. Factual.
6. He said he liked you. Factual.
7. You still cursed him off. Factual.
Here's my take on it: as you explained your education and what you learned, the interviewer was prompted to remember something, perhaps his own education or a relevant project, and while absorbed in his thoughts and listening to you at the same time, accidentally said "shut up" without thinking how it might have sounded. Maybe he really meant to say, "sorry to interrupt you for a moment, but since you said...." but the sentence "shut up" slipped out instead. Some people are like this and you will find very high performing, high achieving brains who still have to remind themselves what the correct polite phrases to use are because when they're fully absorbed in a line of thought, will revert to any quick language that we deem inappropriate in a professional context. Some brains are genuinely like this and I have worked firsthand with people like this. They were brilliant and I had to learn not to take it personally. It was worth it because I learned a great deal from their knowledge and it benefited my professional career.
That would be why he ran after you and apologized profusely. He recognized what he did wrong. But you overreacted. You didn't give him a chance to explain why he might have said "shut up."
Frankly, between the two of you, you came out looking much worse.
Another reason for never overreacting the way you did and for always keeping calm and simply saying, "I'm sorry, but it seems as if this isn't the right workplace for me. I am going to ask if I can leave now and I wish you best of luck in your future endeavors," and quietly leaving the room, is because you never know what will happen down the road.
Let's say it's three or four years later and you're being recruited to work for your ideal company. The job description is perfect for you. The company has a great reputation for a happy and satisfied workforce. The projects are exciting and exactly the type of projects you want to work on. The initial interviews go smoothly and you're very happy with what you see and hear in your future coworkers. You're invited back for another round of interviews and this time you're to meet other executives in the company, not just your potential line manager and even his/her line manager. You're shown into an office. And who's sitting behind the desk? The same man you cursed off. You wouldn't be working with him but his feedback is integral as part of the recruitment process.
Oops.
That you reacted so quickly without allowing him any opportunity to fully apologize and explain, even though you knew he was attempting to do so, and repeatedly cursed him off tells me the company had a lucky escape in seeing that other side in you. It looks like you're not an easy person to work with since you snap so easily and resort to vulgarities and dramatic acts so quickly. I wonder how you'd behave on a high pressure project with looming deadlines and things aren't going so smoothly.
Excellent assessment of what may have occurred.
My not being a confrontational person, unless I need to defend myself or protect myself, I would have said, 'Excuse me, did you want to interject, did I say something wrong'? Thus allowing him/her to apologized and hopefully move on with the interview.
If you would have calmly got up and left, it would have been a lot better than swearing at them as you are leaving and going on and on. To be honest, they will both say, we didn't want a hot head at our company anyway. If you were super professional, it would have been much better. Then it would be like you are better than they are, but you are as bad, so it doesn't matter as much. You can probably tell, I am much older than you.
if you would have calmly got up and left, it would have been a lot better than swearing at them as you are leaving and going on and on. To be honest, they will both say, we didn't want a hot head at our company anyway.
The walking out part is fine. The acting out part isn't. Losing your cool is a sign they got to you, never give them that much. And it reflects a predisposition of some sort.
I wonder if some managers will be adding this tactic to their interview soon.
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