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Old 11-11-2015, 07:06 PM
 
520 posts, read 211,942 times
Reputation: 688

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Today, I had a job interview, and while the conversation was primarily pleasant, the nature of the discussion left me very unsettled. It was as though the interviewer decided early on that he wasn't going to hire me but went through the motions anyway. But I'll let you decide.

First off, this guy seemed to be of the mindset that he would be doing me a disservice by hiring me. He claimed that, in his experience, most people who leave a long-term position due to unhappiness fail to find what they're looking for, usually trading in one stressful life for another. Except that the new life is more stressful because it's unfamiliar (his words, not mine). He "doesn't want to see that happen to me."

Instead, he felt compelled to lecture me about finding ways to manage my stress outside of work. Apparently, if I had more stress-releasing activities in my life, my job wouldn't bother me as much and I wouldn't feel compelled to leave. (The fact that my job is a dead-end role, doing tasks I hate with no coverage if I'm out -- didn't phase him at all.) He even commented that I seemed on the fence about whether I'm really serious about wanting to change jobs.

Also, he could not give me a clear picture of what I'd be doing if I'm hired, stating that he would mold the job to me once he got a sense of my skill set. And things like my salary would be based on that.

We left it that he needed another week or two to conduct a bunch more interviews and then he would decide "how I might fit into his department" and we would talk again.

Anyhow, what do you think? While he did make some valid points, I also felt he was passing unfair judgment on me throughout. Still, I wonder if that's enough to discount an offer if I get one. It does make it hard to know what to do.

Lastly, I know it's customary to send a thank-you note afterwards, but is that appropriate if you're this unsure?
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Old 11-11-2015, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Florida
112 posts, read 113,963 times
Reputation: 167
I always send a thank you note regardless if I want the job or not after the interview. It doesn't take that long and there are more pros than cons of sending one. Its best to leave yourself in the most favorable light to the employer just so that job can be an option. It doesn't sound too promising to me but I've had interviews where I bombed and I got the job yet interviews that I did amazing only to have no offers. So just have to wait and see and keep applying to other jobs.
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Old 11-11-2015, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,508,503 times
Reputation: 9889
Really? Sounds like a really off the wall interview. I wouldn't want to work for this guy. His comments did not seem appropriate. Way too personal.
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Old 11-11-2015, 11:33 PM
ERH
 
Location: Cary, NC
1,144 posts, read 1,636,415 times
Reputation: 2023
Quote:
First off, this guy seemed to be of the mindset that he would be doing me a disservice by hiring me. He claimed that, in his experience, most people who leave a long-term position due to unhappiness fail to find what they're looking for, usually trading in one stressful life for another. Except that the new life is more stressful because it's unfamiliar (his words, not mine). He "doesn't want to see that happen to me."
In what context did he bring this up? Was he describing the role and hinting that it was a high-pressure role with stringent expectations? Do you have a history of leaving jobs when the going gets tough? If neither, then it's very strange indeed.
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Old 11-12-2015, 08:08 AM
 
520 posts, read 211,942 times
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I have worked at the same company for 19 years. My reasons for wanting to leave are based on the company being in a downward spiral and the work environment becoming less and less pleasant as a result. Stress is secondary.

It seemed like he was trying to imply, without using the exact words, that the new environment would be equally stressful to what I'm doing now. This part of conversation began with him asking me what I'm ideally looking for, and once I answered, he went on to tell me a bunch of stories about people he's known who thought they'd be happier leaving their long-term jobs but in most cases they regretted it. He kept indicating that it could happen to me, too, if I went to work there.

In any case, I'm very uncertain what to say if he calls me back. I think it might be worth talking to him again just to get a clearer picture of the job, but my gut is telling me to be wary. I don't like how personal some of his questions got, the way he kept judging me to my face, and when the interviewer tells you that you probably won't be happier here, how can that be a good sign?
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Old 11-12-2015, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
12,184 posts, read 10,359,091 times
Reputation: 33210
Did you tell him that you were unhappy in your current job and stressed? If so, don't do that anymore. It's a sure fire way to not get hired. Never talk bad about your old company, its employees or how you are stressed. They want someone who has nerves of steel who loves his job but is only leaving to explore other opportunities or something positive.

You sealed your fate if you said you were looking to leave because you are unhappy and stressed.
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Old 11-12-2015, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Seattle
1,770 posts, read 1,018,342 times
Reputation: 3047
Don't accept a job that is undefined before going it. It rarely ever works.
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Old 11-12-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Planet Telex
4,658 posts, read 2,292,592 times
Reputation: 4382
Quote:
Originally Posted by michael917 View Post
Also, he could not give me a clear picture of what I'd be doing if I'm hired, stating that he would mold the job to me once he got a sense of my skill set. And things like my salary would be based on that.
What was on the job posting? Did he see your skills on your resume?

I was subjected to a couple of these oddball interviews when I graduated a while back. If the employer has no clue about salary or the actual job duties, I don't want to work for them. Now, I always make sure to bring a copy of the job posting with me when I go on interviews. That way when salaries or job duties start changing, I will make sure to tell them that it was a different story on paper.
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Old 11-12-2015, 01:09 PM
 
581 posts, read 481,093 times
Reputation: 369
Op, you are not going to get this job.
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Old 11-12-2015, 01:27 PM
 
520 posts, read 211,942 times
Reputation: 688
Most likely not, but then again I don't think I really want it anymore.

The job posting did, in fact, have a list of skills that matched my resume, and also seemed clearly defined. However, he said that he was looking to bring in a few people into an expanding department and that the job postings were written in such a way that he could mold the jobs to the candidates once he got to know them. It's also worth noting that he had not read my information before the interview. He "usually likes to, but was overwhelmed that day."

Deep down, I know that talking down about my present employer is a poor idea. However, he did ask questions that led me in that direction. (At one point, he pointedly asked what I would NOT want to do in a job role and why.) Also, when he kept insisting that I could learn to control my stress and then the job wouldn't be such an issue, it was hard not to point out that other factors are in play (ie., the company is on a downslide -- they could go under at any time). I felt the need to keep correcting his twisted ideas about me, but it wasn't working.

Yeah, I think I'm probably done with this guy. There are too many negatives here and, if there are positives, I haven't figured them out yet.
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