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Old 11-18-2015, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nell Plotts View Post
I am assuming that the $10,000 difference is a significant % of the lower offer. If the lower offer is in the realm of $150,000 then $10,000 is chump change, accept the lower one for the commute.

Could SO find suitable employment with an employer closer to the higher paying employer?

My advise, assuming you and SO are long term, is to cut a deal with her: you will commute to the higher paying job for 6 months and during that time she needs to find a job closer to your employer. Then you both move. If she won't do that then she really isn't committed to your relationship.
The $10,000 difference is decently significant, but not a complete deal breaker. My SO works in the medical field as a MA (medical assistant), so I don't think she would have a hard time finding a job closer. I do like your last bit of advice with her trying to find a job closer for the first 6 months. I haven't thought about doing that, but that really is a good idea.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16
Also, if anyone is familiar with the metro Detroit area, it might help in terms of the distance that I am describing between the two workplaces.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:33 PM
 
1,516 posts, read 979,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wings356 View Post
Pretty much sums up my situation, just I described it more in depth with my second post. Significant other's job is nowhere near where the higher-paying job is at, and she doesn't want to move closer to it, because then she would have to commute farther for a job that pays a considerable amount less.
My first wife was like that. Expected me to commute over an hour to the city while making 3x as much as her so that she could have a short commute to her "fun" job. That marriage didn't work for reasons other than the commute, but the commute was clearly a symptom.

Anyway, if you like your wife and want to keep her around, even though her opinion is "wrong" based on the facts here, I'd suggest that you take the $10k hit and stick with the closer job. I commute over an hour now (new situation and temporary until we move), and it's sucking the life out of me. A half hour still isn't great but it beats an hour commute by a huge margin. Unless you're on a train for that hour, then it's ok.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCresident2014 View Post
My first wife was like that. Expected me to commute over an hour to the city while making 3x as much as her so that she could have a short commute to her "fun" job. That marriage didn't work for reasons other than the commute, but the commute was clearly a symptom.

Anyway, if you like your wife and want to keep her around, even though her opinion is "wrong" based on the facts here, I'd suggest that you take the $10k hit and stick with the closer job. I commute over an hour now (new situation and temporary until we move), and it's sucking the life out of me. A half hour still isn't great but it beats an hour commute by a huge margin. Unless you're on a train for that hour, then it's ok.
Well luckily we aren't married yet, or even engaged for that matter, so I'm "stuck" if you will. In terms of our relationship, I do want to make it work with her, but I can only do so much, and trying to find a place that would be close to my potential workplace and her current workplace, is going to be fairly difficult based on our area.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Central IL
15,250 posts, read 8,581,033 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wings356 View Post
The main issue with moving is that my significant other's job is close to where we live, and with her making a considerable amount less than I do, she doesn't want to move too far from her workplace, which puts me in a bind in terms of how far we can move to my potential job.

But that is an entirely different issue, but one that makes this situation a bit more tricky.
Not to sound mean, but you seem pretty young. And unless you're engaged, you need to put much more weight on building a career for yourself than being within 15 minutes of a girlfriend that, frankly, may not be in your life in a year or two. If it's a strong relationship it can certainly handle a bit of inconvenience. HER job will likely not be her last either so don't hurt yourself over this.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Not to sound mean, but you seem pretty young. And unless you're engaged, you need to put much more weight on building a career for yourself than being within 15 minutes of a girlfriend that, frankly, may not be in your life in a year or two. If it's a strong relationship it can certainly handle a bit of inconvenience. HER job will likely not be her last either so don't hurt yourself over this.
Well 24, so still young you could say lol. I know, our careers are much more important right now, and trying to make it work with both of our jobs might not be feasible for the future.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
10,022 posts, read 16,706,611 times
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Your SO should start networking, that is how many find positions in my metro area.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nell Plotts View Post
Your SO should start networking, that is how many find positions in my metro area.
I totally agree. With her working in the medical field, it shouldn't be too hard to find a job. (Assuming of course).
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:56 PM
 
8,966 posts, read 5,110,507 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wings356 View Post
The farther away, better paying job would be around 37 miles away, and the closer job, but less paying job, would be around 20 miles away.

In terms of actual time for commuting, probably around an hour for the one job, and about half an hour for the other job.
37 mile aint nothing, you could move 15 miles if you wanted and still be in the same neighborhood. I drive 71 miles each way daily
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Old 11-18-2015, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Michigan
43 posts, read 20,858 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by brownbagg View Post
37 mile aint nothing, you could move 15 miles if you wanted and still be in the same neighborhood. I drive 71 miles each way daily
Well everyone's situation is different, and I know it could worse, but still, just trying to see what everyone's opinions are. Is your commute mainly urban, suburban, rural?
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