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Old 11-30-2015, 09:46 AM
 
13,011 posts, read 12,963,198 times
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Tough call. You are definitely starting to think along the right lines when you consider dumping your car for rent.

Always rent an apt with a view to the commute. When you decide on your job, then look along convenient subway lines for laces to live. With the midtown job, almost every line is feasible. Jamaica, not so much.

Even if you work in midtown, consider living in Queens or Brooklyn. I have always been partial to Astoria.

FWIW, I moved to NYC with a job paying $52k. My gf landed a Jon paying $40k and we were just fine as far as money went. Admittedly this was back in 2002.
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Old 11-30-2015, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Saint Paul, MN
1,365 posts, read 1,874,353 times
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If it were me? Offer #1, hands down! Each of the others has at least one fatal flaw that would push me away.

#2 sounds like an absolute nightmare. They want a director-level new hire to "oversee the entire program" of a "large nonprofit agency" but they will be paying you like an administrative assistant? No thanks! I bet they are an awful employer to work for; I wouldn't be surprised if they are the type of nonprofit where the culture demands that you should feel "honored" to spend all your free time fighting for the cause while eating ramen noodles and wearing third-hand clothes. I would run far and fast from this offer.

#3 sounds very isolating and like a potential mental health challenge. Sitting alone in your apartment listening to literal calls for help from people in the worst moments of their lives. And you can't make the necessary healthy distinctions between what happens "at the office" and what happens at home, since you would be taking these calls from home. There is no hope of a feel-good payoff with remote crisis hotline work, either, since the clients who wind up doing okay disappear silently into their own lives and don't call back. (Not that you are doing social work to feel like a savior, but personally observing a positive outcome can go a long way toward keeping you going when faced with the ugly bits you see in that field.)

Finally, I would caution you not to factor the $72k program director promotion at #1 too heavily into your decision. If you accept, you will be taking the $50K supervisor job with no guarantee of moving up the ladder as quickly or easily as they suggested. Likewise, you could conceivably get a promotion/salary bump at the other positions, too. Make sure you are comparing apples to apples on the actual offers that are on the table.
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Old 11-30-2015, 09:55 AM
 
204 posts, read 289,149 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomlikeme View Post
This is my general attitude on this situation:


On any of these, I would take them as their current face value. It is possible you become a program director within a few months at #1, but it is also possible that they hire someone else internally and you are still at 50K.


Second, I would also only choose to move if you could support yourself on your salary should anything happen with the boyfriend. Sure, right now, you may consider yourselves "almost married" or "his money is my money, my money is his money." But things happen and without the benefit of marriage as protection, you may find yourself in a situation where you don't have his income to help you survive. Can you survive on any of these salaries at the quality of life you want to have?


For me, the most attractive offer might be job #3 given all of the other information available. If I were to break up with the boyfriend and I worked remotely, I could then move to a place where I could afford to live on that salary and still keep the same job. Not saying anything like that happens, but no one ever thinks anything like that will happen and sometimes, it does. It is good to also protect yourself and your interests, too.
Thanks for the input. As far as the relationship, while we won't be married, we will be engaged by the time we move. Our relationship is pretty secure.

I'm also the one with the majority of the savings, so yes, I would be able to survive should something happen.
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Old 11-30-2015, 09:57 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 16,990,261 times
Reputation: 15756
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsu00 View Post
working as a clinical supervisor of a nonprofit that provides in-home counseling to at risk youth. Salary is 50k.
Since you are working for nonprofit organizations, I assume that money is not at the top of your list, so I wouldn't even really factor that in highly. Of course, there are nonprofits where people help the disadvantaged and there are nonprofits where people claim to help the disadvantaged and the directors are pulling in 200K a year. But I digress.

If I were working in jobs with those types of goals (and I have highly considered it), then anything over 45K mid career would be fine for me. So, I would pick the job that had the best internal organization and stood to reach out and help the most people.

Just my 2 cents...
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Old 11-30-2015, 09:58 AM
 
204 posts, read 289,149 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by fishbrains View Post
Tough call. You are definitely starting to think along the right lines when you consider dumping your car for rent.

Always rent an apt with a view to the commute. When you decide on your job, then look along convenient subway lines for laces to live. With the midtown job, almost every line is feasible. Jamaica, not so much.

Even if you work in midtown, consider living in Queens or Brooklyn. I have always been partial to Astoria.

FWIW, I moved to NYC with a job paying $52k. My gf landed a Jon paying $40k and we were just fine as far as money went. Admittedly this was back in 2002.
I'm definitely getting rid of my car. Carmax is a blessing at this point since I'm in a lease and they will give me what I need to cover the ridiculous payout.

The job in Midtown is literally the perfect location. The one in Jamaica, well, like you said, not so much. I have the E, F, and J lines however that would take me where I need to go (so the office would be within .5 miles of either station.) That helps me a bit knowing that I'm not stuck with just one line should there be a delay or issue. I know 50k is a crappy salary, but it's not stopping us from moving haha We're great savers and budget saavy, so I know when it comes to that we'll be okay. It's more of the long-term that I'm also trying to think about. I know I can't really that far ahead, and if the job for whatever reason doesn't work, I can always look for another job.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:04 AM
 
204 posts, read 289,149 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by StPaulGal View Post
If it were me? Offer #1, hands down! Each of the others has at least one fatal flaw that would push me away.

#2 sounds like an absolute nightmare. They want a director-level new hire to "oversee the entire program" of a "large nonprofit agency" but they will be paying you like an administrative assistant? No thanks! I bet they are an awful employer to work for; I wouldn't be surprised if they are the type of nonprofit where the culture demands that you should feel "honored" to spend all your free time fighting for the cause while eating ramen noodles and wearing third-hand clothes. I would run far and fast from this offer.

#3 sounds very isolating and like a potential mental health challenge. Sitting alone in your apartment listening to literal calls for help from people in the worst moments of their lives. And you can't make the necessary healthy distinctions between what happens "at the office" and what happens at home, since you would be taking these calls from home. There is no hope of a feel-good payoff with remote crisis hotline work, either, since the clients who wind up doing okay disappear silently into their own lives and don't call back. (Not that you are doing social work to feel like a savior, but personally observing a positive outcome can go a long way toward keeping you going when faced with the ugly bits you see in that field.)

Finally, I would caution you not to factor the $72k program director promotion at #1 too heavily into your decision. If you accept, you will be taking the $50K supervisor job with no guarantee of moving up the ladder as quickly or easily as they suggested. Likewise, you could conceivably get a promotion/salary bump at the other positions, too. Make sure you are comparing apples to apples on the actual offers that are on the table.
Thank you so much for this, it really gave me a lot to think about. As much as I'd love job 2, you're right... if that's all that they are willing to pay a clinical director, what does that say about the organization? I love what they do and the job sounds amazing, but you're right... I can't sacrifice my own life to help others.

Job 3 would be isolating, I'm definitely used to being around others. It sounds terrible, but I could kind of care less what happens to my clients. That's probably the worst thing any therapist can say, but I know there's only so much I can do. When they aren't with me, they are on their own making their own choices. So separating the two, even working from home, would be easy. It sounds silly, but I'd miss the little things... getting dressed up for work (compared to sitting on the couch in pajamas for instance,) the water cooler gossip, drinking coffee with my coworkers.

With job 1, I'm definitely not considering the raise at this point. She mentioned it to me because she knows I'm taking a pay cut and knows that my goal is to run the program. I think she told me because she wanted me to know that while I might have to accept the lower offer for now, that eventually (and how long that is, I don't know) there would be other opportunities.

I've narrowed it down I think between 1 and 2, and I know I have to look at what I know and what would be certain... not the future or the unknowns that go with it (ie. raises, promotions, etc.) They could be possible, and could also not be possible.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:06 AM
 
204 posts, read 289,149 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Since you are working for nonprofit organizations, I assume that money is not at the top of your list, so I wouldn't even really factor that in highly. Of course, there are nonprofits where people help the disadvantaged and there are nonprofits where people claim to help the disadvantaged and the directors are pulling in 200K a year. But I digress.

If I were working in jobs with those types of goals (and I have highly considered it), then anything over 45K mid career would be fine for me. So, I would pick the job that had the best internal organization and stood to reach out and help the most people.

Just my 2 cents...
I'm a social worker, money isn't at the top of my list (if it were, I'd have picked another field ha.) Of course, money is important to survive, so I just need something that will make it so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck or using all our savings.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:09 AM
 
6,434 posts, read 7,726,983 times
Reputation: 15931
I would take the one that you think is the best fit and feels the most right. Sounds to me like that's #2. The potential $72k that #1 is throwing out there isn't something I would count on at all. Matter of fact, I'd be pretty suspicious of an org who does employs that strategy to attract potential candidates. I don't like that at all.

So if that were off the table (which it probably is) and never stated, would you be leaning harder towards #2? If so, then lean towards #2.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:29 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 16,990,261 times
Reputation: 15756
Quote:
Originally Posted by StPaulGal View Post

#2 sounds like an absolute nightmare. They want a director-level new hire to "oversee the entire program" of a "large nonprofit agency" but they will be paying you like an administrative assistant? No thanks! I bet they are an awful employer to work for; I wouldn't be surprised if they are the type of nonprofit where the culture demands that you should feel "honored" to spend all your free time fighting for the cause while eating ramen noodles and wearing third-hand clothes. I would run far and fast from this offer.
Isn't that what you buy into when you work as a social worker for non-profits though?

Or at least a true non-profit. If non-profits are paying their administrative assistants 55K, then the directors are making 150K+, and then they cease to be non-profits because all of the contributions they receive are going towards salaries and not helping people.

55K is more than we pay our administrative assistants (way more), and we are a money hungry, privately owned engineering firm.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:35 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 16,990,261 times
Reputation: 15756
Quote:
Originally Posted by fsu00 View Post
I'm a social worker, money isn't at the top of my list (if it were, I'd have picked another field ha.) Of course, money is important to survive, so I just need something that will make it so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck or using all our savings.
With 55K, you definitely won't be living high off the hog in NYC, but it will be enough to get by once your boyfriend gets a job.

At that point you're looking at 100K household, and that's more than enough to live decent.
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