U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment > Job Search
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-03-2016, 10:04 PM
 
28 posts, read 19,065 times
Reputation: 28

Advertisements

I have 3 young children; 6, 5 and 2 that mean the world to me. I currently work part-time, my husband full time but we can barely make ends meet. I love my days at home with them, but we are always stressed about $ d/t student loans, mortgage etc, nothing we can cut down on....we are not big spenders. With budgeting, we just make it. Ive received a good full-time job offer with great pay and benefits but obviously will not see my kids as much. Is it worth it?? Is time but being broke better than less time but financial stability?!???!??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-03-2016, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,130 posts, read 23,010,120 times
Reputation: 35324
A couple things to consider. If you take the job, you'll need to pay for more child care, and you'll need a better wardrobe that you'll need to refresh on a regular basis, and there will be the cost of higher insurance for driving more with your car, and more gas and maintenance and wear on tires for the car. And you'll probably spend more on food, because you'll be too tired to cook.

Plus, you can get student loan payments lowered or deferred, depending on your income. So, if you are making more money, you'll also have to pay a higher payment on the student loans.

Plus, you'll be exhausted.

I'm wondering if you'd actually be better off if you just quit working and stay at home full-time, considering all of the above. If you've got two cars, just cut back to one. Budget for cooking inexpensive meals. Budget like you live in the 50's, when families lived with one car and cooked and entertained at home.

I bet there are ways to adjust your budget that you haven't thought of, or you have more things on your "must have" list than you really must have.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-03-2016, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,564 posts, read 52,720,164 times
Reputation: 70869
My wife had a six figure career with more room for advancement in a job she actually enjoyed doing.
She "gave that up" three years ago to stay home with our kids (now 4 and 2).
Now that I have the opportunity to cut back and retire and she could go back full time, she says, "I'll never be a part time parent again. It's not worth it."

Get them into school and then look for some full/part time opportunities you can pursue during the hours they are there.

There are many families in your boat. Many of them pursue different ways to make money at home or cut back more on spending to spend time actually raising their own kids. Do it. It's worth it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-03-2016, 10:44 PM
 
9,788 posts, read 17,006,304 times
Reputation: 18441
It depends how much child care will cost. That said, if you are in financial trouble I think the answer is obvious; most mom's don't have the luxury of being a stay at home mom.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 07:03 AM
 
1,585 posts, read 1,427,566 times
Reputation: 4939
You have option A)Part-time broke SAHM, B)Full-Time Job, working mom, more financially secure
or
Option C) If you were able to get someone to give a good full-time job, you can figure out a way to get a better part-time job, so you can make a little more money and be at home. Review your skills, there is always another option.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 07:04 AM
 
93 posts, read 68,353 times
Reputation: 166
That part time parent stuff is so condescending. I work and trust me I'm a full time parent. I've never heard a dad refer to other dads as a part time parent. Only moms. I'm still raising my kids.

I've done all. Stay at home, work from home and work out of the home. They're all different but they're all difficult. Right now I work full time. My kids go to day camp in the summer and my younger goes to the after school program during the year.

Childcare is pricy. youll need to see if you can make it work with the cost. Also factor in that you'll be eating out some or getting takeout. I almost always cooked when I was home. Now we get something about once a week and have simple sandwiches more often because I'm tired. Working out is a challenge too.

Ask about flexibility. My current company is very family friendly and my boss is pretty laid back. But I still ration my days off because I may need them if the kids are sick. My mom lives 2 minutes away and helps out immensely. We couldn't do it without her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 07:16 AM
 
28 posts, read 19,065 times
Reputation: 28
We are moving to a different state without family But with this job offer, I'll be making significantly more and childcare is only 30$/day....much cheaper than here. The job is flexible and it seems really family friendly. We just live paycheck to paycheck now, have no savings and im tired of it. I just hope it's worth it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 08:23 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,839 posts, read 54,538,129 times
Reputation: 31194
There are now people working just to pay for the pre-school for their kids, with no net additional income. My wife and several friends working at schools have noticed that many kindergartners are coming in already reading at 1st/2nd grade level, which is making it hard for those that stayed home with a parent to catch up. Whether it's good or bad to push education that early, people are doing it to help their kids become more able to keep up and compete for college admission and later for good jobs. When ours were young in the 1980s, my wife worked part-time evenings and weekends so that one of us was always available, but we still put them into part day pre-school. It was not for learning as much as for social reasons, and it was affordable, but it seems that now good preschools and even day care are so competitive that people go on waiting lists prior to the birth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Florida
5,661 posts, read 3,678,374 times
Reputation: 10620
I've done it both ways... I worked 30 hours per week when my son was a baby (he was in daycare), then stayed home full-time for about six years after that. Then I started working minimally from home, and now I own my own company and work about 30 hours per week, mostly from home. The kids are now teens. We also homeschool.

If you're not able to pay the bills, then I think you have your answer. On the other hand, if you can cut costs and make it work for another three years until your toddler is ready to go to school, that is probably a lot less stress on everyone (again, this is only if you won't be constantly stressing over money!). Basically, kids need a roof over their heads, plenty of healthy food, loving parents, and fun things to do (which can absolutely be free!). If you can provide all of that, they'll be fine, whether you return to work or stay home for a few years. Just do your best and it will work out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2016, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,031 posts, read 21,763,471 times
Reputation: 22250
I thought you loved your job and we're comfortable?

Working mom vs stay at home mom
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Work and Employment > Job Search
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top