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Employers think moms are less desirable than 'singles' with no kids? I never left my job due to childcare issues. I wish they would not assume we don't have our schedules together. My husband is home all day so he can handle childcare issues if they arise.
Well you hang in there, 1984VT.
I can feel your pain.
I will probably be the last man (woman) standing here unemployed...
Until I get the **** out of Vermont.
I've had single and married working for me.
I would prefer a woman with children.
More stability, less drama.
Yes, and sometimes children will interfere with work. They get sick and mom has to stay home with them. So?
Sometimes they need to see a doctor or dentist and mom is the only one to take them. So?
And every mom who ever worked for me I made clear I expected them to call home to check on the kids every day after school This is to be expected and I would have called home had something happened to my wife so what's the difference?
I explained ahead of time I expected them to call home at around the same time every day to check. No problem, just do it but when you do can you work with me to keep the call 3 to 5 minutes?
Today I had my second interview in one month where I was asked point blank.
Are you married? Do you have children? How old are your children?
I want the jobs so I answer honestly. If you give that bull-crap statement of "that is an illegal question" or "I don't see how that would affect my job performance" as suggested - guess what, you aren't going to get the job.
I feel I need to start lying about it. I really feel that I missed out on today and the last job because I was honest about having children even though I assured them they were in school and had proper afterschool care.
This happening to anyone else? Should I start lying?
I find this rather ironic.
Where I live you are viewed as some kind of weirdo if you DON'T have children. I have lied at job interviews telling them I have kids, when I don't, just so they think I am [their definition, not mine] "normal".
I used to proudly tell interviewers that I was childfree thinking that it would somehow make them realize that I would be more reliable, dependable, etc, since I didn't have to worry about all the mommy-stuff that happens when you are childed. Nope, they weren't the least bit impressed. Go figure.
Sure, I'd lie. Cheat and steal if I wanted the job badly enough. But that's me. LOL
LOL, it would have been funny to watch their faces if, when asked about having any children, you had rolled your eyes and said, "Yes, that's why I lost the last job. It's so hard to balance the whole kid-work thing."
I would lie to an interviewer in a minute if the questions were out of line and had nothing to do with the job! Lying on an application might get you canned, but this is different!
Sorry folks: Right now honesty IS NOT always the best policy! These companies nowadays are full of weenies who are taking advantage of the recession and want you to work for less and do more!
If I were you I would tell them whatever I thought they wanted to hear to get the job as long as you are qualified and can perform.
Last edited by roncorey1; 08-29-2009 at 12:22 AM..
Reason: grammar
I would lie to an interviewer in a minute if the questions were out of line and had nothing to do with the job! Lying on an application might get you canned, but this is different!
Sorry folks: Right now honesty IS NOT always the best policy! These companies nowadays are full of weenies who are taking advantage of the recession and want you to work for less and do more!
If I were you I would tell them whatever I thought they wanted to hear to get the job as long as you are qualified and can perform.
Very true. I know during one discussion session for a government position the secretary said to me, "Do you have any barriers for employment? Our funding is reserved for people who are teenagers with children, ex-convicts, dropouts, etc." I replied, "My barrier is that I am working on a Master's degree and everyone claims I'm overqualified." She laughed nervously and said, "It is sad when being overqualified is a barrier." I know it sounds weird, but it was some sort of placement program that was funded on some sort of act that the Obama Administration funded.
In fact, there is an organization in which their main purpose is to bring people back to Appalachia in order to work. I used there services for a few months and could not find a job. Everyone said I was overqualified. The site owner wrote back to me saying that they wanted to hear my success story b/c the last lead sounded promising. I politely, but assertively, told them that every single job I applied for through this organization told me I was overqualified and I would leave if I cannot find a job. Their reply: "I know it's a rough job market, but maybe you can remove some of your qualifications." So, even organizations are technically hinting at people lying about their true skills or withholding I guess you can call it.
There's nothing wrong with leaving out skills or education that would make you overqualified. After all, if they're not needed for the job (thus making you OVERqualified, right?) then leaving them off is just as appropriate as leaving off your favorite sexual positions and anything else not relevant for the job (assuming your favorites isn't relevant, which for some jobs, it is ).
The 'worst' question I've ever been asked was "where do you see yourself in 5 years" but that was preceded with "I hate asking this question and I'm sure you've never heard it before..." and he was smiling. I'm not sure if he really wanted to know or was trying to gauge my human side rather than just the technical.
How about this response to the questions of this thread -- you're asked if you have children, so answer with "homo sapiens or canines?" and just keep responding with return questions until they give up. Then you aren't answering banned question nor lying and you demonstrate that you can think on your feet. Of course you should still send a letter to the EEOC afterwards, because there is no excuse for someone giving an interview to not know the law, especially an HR person. Isn't that their JOB?
There's nothing wrong with leaving out skills or education that would make you overqualified. After all, if they're not needed for the job (thus making you OVERqualified, right?) then leaving them off is just as appropriate as leaving off your favorite sexual positions and anything else not relevant for the job (assuming your favorites isn't relevant, which for some jobs, it is ).
The 'worst' question I've ever been asked was "where do you see yourself in 5 years" but that was preceded with "I hate asking this question and I'm sure you've never heard it before..." and he was smiling. I'm not sure if he really wanted to know or was trying to gauge my human side rather than just the technical.
How about this response to the questions of this thread -- you're asked if you have children, so answer with "homo sapiens or canines?" and just keep responding with return questions until they give up. Then you aren't answering banned question nor lying and you demonstrate that you can think on your feet. Of course you should still send a letter to the EEOC afterwards, because there is no excuse for someone giving an interview to not know the law, especially an HR person. Isn't that their JOB?
I figured it meant that you were technically lying, especially since some applications I've filled out asked for me to list all of the institutions I've attended with that scary disclaimer "I promise everything is factual..." . Although, you do have a point I suppose. I mostly keep them on there though b/c I have a bit of pride with going to college (first generation college graduate) but I suppose in this market you have to swallow pride and remove it.
LOL! I think they would eventually as you to leave for being sarcastic. Still, I do agree that the children question should not be asked. I'm almost tempted to think about whether or not someone can quietly bring a tape recorder and record the entire interview. Then, if such a question is asked, report them to the EEOC with a copy of the tape.
Keep in mind that not every hiring manager or person conducting an interview is an expert in Equal Opportunity law (and may not have received any training).
Um, thats like any oxymoron. Shouldnt they be? I mean thats like having someone who is not a doctor perform surgery. You should be highly trained in this area if it your job especially when its such a touchy situation with what you can and cant legally ask.
Um, thats like any oxymoron. Shouldnt they be? I mean thats like having someone who is not a doctor perform surgery. You should be highly trained in this area if it your job especially when its such a touchy situation with what you can and cant legally ask.
I guess it is feast or famine in the HR industry too........either you know the rules or you don't and as I as the person being interviewed must decide how much and if it is worth it to lie to get that job in today's economy or be faithful to the truth et al..............it is pretty sad though when the average candidate knows more about questions that can and can't be legally asked than the HR person giving the interview.......
Truthfully - in the end -- our DD will be taken care of no matter which one of is doing the care -- either way we work it out and neither of our employers has ever had to suffer any undue hardship (so far anyway..) so I can see answering honestly in an interview that the situation is taken care of........because it will be and the prosepective employer has no reason or need to worry about how it gets done.
Last edited by MyLittlePrincessK; 08-30-2009 at 08:12 PM..
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).
I guess it is feast or famine in the HR industry too........either you know the rules or you don't and as I as the person being interviewed must decide how much and if it is worth it to lie to get that job in today's economy or be faithful to the truth et al..............it is pretty sad though when the average candidate knows more about questions that can and can't be legally asked than the HR person giving the interview.......
