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Old 01-24-2013, 08:54 AM
 
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So this past week, my wife's family had a family reunion at a beautiful all inclusive beach resort. About 50 or so cousins, their kids, the grandparents, etc. Mostly all Jewish, but not a religious one in the bunch of them. We weren't going to attend, as it was a huge sum of money to fork out for a resort that would have issues of kol begged (people in inappropriate clothing), maris ayin (being openly Torah Observant in a restaurant with the largest treif buffet you could imagine), Shabbos in golus (Shabbos outside of the observant community is so terribly distatsteful to me), and on and on...

But at the 11th hour, one of my wife's wealthy relatives learned we were not going to attend and bought us plane tickets and paid for our hotel room and begged us to come. So we did.

You know, it worked out kinda OK. We couldn't solve the issue of being around women in skimpy bikinis. We just tried to look away. Shabbos was nearly a total loss. While I believe we were able to avoid doing any malacha (prohibited work) on Shabbos, I'll finish this year's cheshbon (accounting) and say I had 51 Shabboses this year. A real disappointment for sure.

My biggest disappoint was my wife's 75 year old Jewish uncle who stalked me with questions of why do you do this and why do you do that (he belongs to a particularly nasty Jewish community, I can tell, as he spared no issue with expressing his distaste of Torah Observance). I finally shut him down by telling him I don't discuss religion or politics when on vacation. In truth, I just don't discuss it with nasty people. So he responded in kind by offering a piece of irresistable chocolate (treif!!!) cake to my 5 year old daughter, who wolfed it down before one of her older brothers noticed and tried to stop her. Unforgivable behavior.

The maris ayin thing was the biggest thing on my mind. And it was an interesting experiment for sure, as the place was crawling with Israelis and non-observant Jews. We wore our yarmulkes, tzit tzi's, sheitels, ankle-length skirts, etc, loud and proud, even in the dining hall. Shabbos morning, I had no less than a dozen people wish me "Shabbat Shalom" (interestingly, not a single person wished me a "gut Shabbos").

And both Mrs. Flop and I had no less than 2-3 people each day approach us and ask us how in the world were we eating at this place. We shared with them that we brought 100% of our own food - all double wrapped, and stored in the fridge of the resort. The resort agreed to warm our food for us at each meal - very accomodating.

I finished the trip and felt is was all a kiddush Hashem, and that we were literally able to overcome the maris ayin issue with the very loud crinkling sounds of us unwrapping all that tin foil at each meal. Mounds and mounds of tin foil@!
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Camberville
12,078 posts, read 16,840,074 times
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At least the family knows now not to invite you to anything - you'll act ungrateful and turn your noses up at them.

It's not "gut Shabbos" unless you are a Yiddish speaker. Not all Jews come from a Yiddish background. Shabbat Shalom is heads and shoulders more appropriate. Not sure why it's "interesting" to you.
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:37 AM
 
3,972 posts, read 3,359,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
At least the family knows now not to invite you to anything - you'll act ungrateful and turn your noses up at them.
Kind of interesting that you'd say that. Other than the uncle who assaulted my daughter by feeding her treif, the cousins and our kids all got along splendidly. It was a great opportunity to bring together Jews who lead their lives in very different manners and put us all on relatively equal footing. Quite nice, I believe.

Quote:
It's not "gut Shabbos" unless you are a Yiddish speaker. Not all Jews come from a Yiddish background. Shabbat Shalom is heads and shoulders more appropriate. Not sure why it's "interesting" to you.
Sure, I understand that. I think the lack of hearing that phrase is just a commentary about how far out of our comfort zone we went to accomodate our family and attempt to stay invovled in their lives and vice versa.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:13 PM
 
Location: small Southern town balabusta
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We were at a resort in PA last year. I was really nicely surprised to see a Jewish family there. The woman was beautiful; she had on a swimsuit that was made for Orthodox people. I tried not to stare at them but it was really nice to see them. One morning I worked up my nerve to practice "Boker Tov" on them as a greeting, and they responded in kind.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:14 PM
 
Location: The Port City is rising.
8,827 posts, read 10,755,458 times
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" Shabbos morning, I had no less than a dozen people wish me "Shabbat Shalom" (interestingly, not a single person wished me a "gut Shabbos")."

as someone who belongs to a shabbot shalom community (Conservative, my family very Zionist, have sephardic friends, etc) and OTOH, have ashkenazic haredi relations, and am generally nostalgic about Yiddish, I try to speak appropriately to each person - but sometimes get confused - and will say to a frummie relation "Shab er Gut shabbos" or to a Sephardic friend "gut - er shabbat shalom"
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:25 PM
 
Location: small Southern town balabusta
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I have belonged to two Conservative synagogues. In the first, the congregation was older and only said Gut Shabbos. Women didn't wear pants to services and didn't show bare arms. The second Conservative synagogue is younger, more casual, and says Shabbat Shalom a lot. Probably no connection, but interesting.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:36 PM
 
3,972 posts, read 3,359,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklynborndad View Post
" Shabbos morning, I had no less than a dozen people wish me "Shabbat Shalom" (interestingly, not a single person wished me a "gut Shabbos")."

as someone who belongs to a shabbot shalom community (Conservative, my family very Zionist, have sephardic friends, etc) and OTOH, have ashkenazic haredi relations, and am generally nostalgic about Yiddish, I try to speak appropriately to each person - but sometimes get confused - and will say to a frummie relation "Shab er Gut shabbos" or to a Sephardic friend "gut - er shabbat shalom"
Even inside my shul, it's best to know who likes a "gut Shabbos" and who likes a "Shabbat Shalom." Typically the Sephardim/Israeli's are Shabbat Shalomers and the Ashkenazi's say Gut Shabbos. All my non-frum family says Shabbat Shalom, even though they are all Ashkenazi. Go figure...

Quote:
We were at a resort in PA last year. I was really nicely surprised to see a Jewish family there. The woman was beautiful; she had on a swimsuit that was made for Orthodox people. I tried not to stare at them but it was really nice to see them. One morning I worked up my nerve to practice "Boker Tov" on them as a greeting, and they responded in kind.
Mrs. Flop has a swimsuit like that. Boy, it's a LOT of material. kinda funny to see her in it, but hey, that's dedication to Torah values, and I admire her ceaselessly.

I got a whole lotta "Boker Tov's" last week at the resort as well. Kinda funny, since that's not something I ever say. I wasn't sure if it was rude to reply with a "and good morning to you, too."
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:46 PM
 
Location: The Port City is rising.
8,827 posts, read 10,755,458 times
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Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
I got a whole lotta "Boker Tov's" last week at the resort as well. Kinda funny, since that's not something I ever say. I wasn't sure if it was rude to reply with a "and good morning to you, too."

I can usually judge from someone's clothing whether to say gut shabbos, or git shabbos. Such wasted knowledge.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:48 PM
 
Location: The Port City is rising.
8,827 posts, read 10,755,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1+1=5 View Post
I have belonged to two Conservative synagogues. In the first, the congregation was older and only said Gut Shabbos. Women didn't wear pants to services and didn't show bare arms. The second Conservative synagogue is younger, more casual, and says Shabbat Shalom a lot. Probably no connection, but interesting.

My (reform shul) when i was growing up (in the 1960s) used standard American Ashekenazic hebrew. This girl moved from out of town and started in our hebrew school, and used American Accented israeli hebrew (ie what americans think is sephardic hebrew, but it really isn't) We laughed at her. next year, we got a new rabbi who made us learn the new way (baruch, not bawruch, etc)

so yeah, I think it is connected - a generational thing within C - from the old communities rooted in old neighborhoods, that were very close to O but with mixed seating, to (relatively) younger folks, not always the children of the former.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Long Island
1,728 posts, read 1,398,910 times
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Some of the older folks in my community will say Gut Shabbos, but most say Shabbat Shalom. We use them interchangeably.

Our recently retired rabbi was an Israeli, and most people who have been in the area have picked up on the Sephardic pronunciation. Our new rabbi speaks Yiddish, but only teaches the Sephardic pronunciation in Hebrew class and uses it in service.
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