Secrets you learn after converting (Israel, food)

[theflipflop]

A good friend of mine completed a 3-year process to convert to Judaism via an Orthodox conversion - and with one of the few beis din's in America whose conversions are recognized as valid in Israel (for purposes of right of return). I'm very proud of him.

After his conversion was complete, he held a seudas mitzvah that the commuity attended to celebrate his newly born Jewish nashama. It was all very moving and beautiful.

So one of the folks at the seuda took it upon himself to "reveal" to this new Jew the deepest held secrets of the Jewish faith. I thought I'd share some of those secrets with all of you, and feel free to add to the list:

1. Yep, we actually do control Hollywood.
2. Yep, the banks, too.
3. Any treif food rendered unedible loses its status as treif, hence we learn that gefillta fish is actually ham.

Any other long held secrets we should share with him?

[hoooka]

Originally Posted by theflipflop

A good friend of mine completed a 3-year process to convert to Judaism via an Orthodox conversion - and with one of the few beis din's in America whose conversions are recognized as valid in Israel (for purposes of right of return). I'm very proud of him.

After his conversion was complete, he held a seudas mitzvah that the commuity attended to celebrate his newly born Jewish nashama. It was all very moving and beautiful.

So one of the folks at the seuda took it upon himself to "reveal" to this new Jew the deepest held secrets of the Jewish faith. I thought I'd share some of those secrets with all of you, and feel free to add to the list:

1. Yep, we actually do control Hollywood.
2. Yep, the banks, too.
3. Any treif food rendered unedible loses its status as treif, hence we learn that gefillta fish is actually ham.

Any other long held secrets we should share with him?

They started WW2?

[1+1=5]

1. Odd comments from uneducated people bother you less and less.
2. You learn to get thick skin. It's a must.
3. You have to be good at arguing.
4. As above, not all stereotypes are untrue. When someone says to you, "You people are good with money", you shrug and say, "Yep. We have to be".
5. The person saying #4 above doesn't always mean it offensively. You're not only good at managing resources, but you're generally pretty trustworthy and wouldn't steal it from them. Generally, of course, because we all have people in our population we're not proud of.
5. Two Jews, five opinions.
6. Never turn down food at an oneg.
7. Behind every tzaddik, there's a great balabusta holding it all together.

Mazel Tov, friend of Flipflop.