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Old 07-03-2013, 10:55 AM
 
864 posts, read 733,607 times
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Quote:
Anyway, if you don't like this new culture, maybe the best thing is to isolate yourself into a culture where you are more comfortable. That is what the Amish do.
Good suggestion
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Old 07-03-2013, 11:12 AM
 
Location: small Southern town balabusta
1,133 posts, read 1,432,423 times
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It unfortunately isn't possible at this time. I can't be Orthodox yet. I'm going to find the happy medium between isolating myself and enduring full body hugs from patients that feel creepy. I will find the answer somehow.
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Old 07-03-2013, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,113,595 times
Reputation: 1399
Quote:
Originally Posted by JB from NC View Post
Yeah, because I guess asking is just way too hard for some people.
Yes, you are exactly right.

Of course, we don't usually get too close with people who do not appear to be a part of our normal culture. If you dress in an unusual way, like wear a saffron robe like the Hare Krishnas, we probably will not grab you and treat you like one of the family.

The other alternative is to look very threatening. A couple fake tattoos and swastikas on your clothes will almost certainly make us keep our distance.

Last edited by hiker45; 07-03-2013 at 11:54 AM..
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Long Island
1,717 posts, read 1,386,834 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiker45 View Post
Yes, you are exactly right.

Of course, we don't usually get too close with people who do not appear to be a part of our normal culture. If you dress in an unusual way, like wear a saffron robe like the Hare Krishnas, we probably will not grab you and treat you like one of the family.

The other alternative is to look very threatening. A couple fake tattoos and swastikas on your clothes will almost certainly make us keep our distance.
Sorry, but I'm not buying it. Most people make it clear through body language and words that physical contact is unwanted. If you can't tell the difference, then you shouldn't be touching strangers.
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,113,595 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JB from NC View Post
If you can't tell the difference, then you shouldn't be touching strangers.
That is very true. That is why the amount of touching we do in our modern society is not a problem for most people.

However, for some people it is a problem, which goes back to the OP.

I gave my solution to the OP. What's yours?
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Old 07-03-2013, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Long Island
1,717 posts, read 1,386,834 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiker45 View Post
That is very true. That is why the amount of touching we do in our modern society is not a problem for most people.

However, for some people it is a problem, which goes back to the OP.

I gave my solution to the OP. What's yours?
I've already addressed the OP.
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Old 07-03-2013, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,538 posts, read 4,690,556 times
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The first time I visited Chabad, I tried to shake the Rabbi's hand. LOL! I had no idea!

We all have beliefs and ideals that are different from others, sometimes even in the same community. Interpersonal relationships are sticky. But they are worth it. I was honestly a little offended when the Rabbi wouldn't shake my hand. But then, I looked at it objectively and tried to think of it from the other perspective (what if I was the one who didn't want to be touched and some man tried to grab my hand) and got over it pretty quickly.

Actually, I'm pretty sensitive to touching others as well. I generally don't like anyone except my husband and kids touching me. My husbands family always hug each other. I'm fine with the women, but I really don't want to touch his brother. I do the obligatory hug anyway to keep the peace. We have enough religious issues that make family relationships very strained (between Christmas and ham I've ruined their family traditions), I'm not going to add one more thing.
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Old 07-04-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,364 posts, read 24,099,835 times
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Quote:
Please do not hug me!


How about a yiddishke pinch?
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:34 PM
 
Location: small Southern town balabusta
1,133 posts, read 1,432,423 times
Reputation: 756
ROFL. On the back of my hand only.
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Old 06-10-2019, 06:51 PM
 
579 posts, read 57,385 times
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I was visiting old threads on the forum, and this just cracked me up:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pruzhany View Post
How about a yiddishke pinch?
Since I've already revived this old thread, I'll give my own answer to it: I have to admit that I'm a hugger although I wouldn't think of hugging a black hat Jew of the opposite gender. For anyone else (especially for someone who seems to be in emotional distress) I'll first say something like: "How 'bout a hug?" Some people just smile and say, "Thanks, but I'm okay." Others spontaneously open their arms. Either way is fine with me.

But I can't say I'd feel comfortable with huggers who don't ask first, same as I ask first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1+1=5 View Post
Hi all,
Do you frequently find yourself deflecting hugs from members of the opposite sex? I've decided that it's not right to permit this from patients anymore. I had a "hug" from a man today that made me extremely uncomfortable.
Yes, that would bother me, too. There's a different dynamic going on between a woman who is doing her job, and a man who presumes that part of her job is giving out hugs.
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