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Old 07-03-2013, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Long Island
1,726 posts, read 1,395,472 times
Reputation: 1428

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Quote:
Originally Posted by iwishiwerethin View Post
The question is: Were the people orthodox?
Yes, and some of them still are. But they are elderly, and the direction the community has gone in recently has kept them away. From what I understand from talking to them is that the change was based on necessity more than ideology.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:08 AM
 
864 posts, read 735,401 times
Reputation: 251
Quote:
I take it you didn't care for the book or Ms. Feldman?
Knowing her and all the characters in her book the way I do, I could not stomach her lies-some of them so outrageous-and backstabbing.

Quote:
If you know Deborah personally, has she totally left Judaism or does she now belong and practice Conservative or what~?
She has totally left Judaism and her family behind. She admits as much in her book. She starts off by stating she's eating crab cakes. I don't know what you mean by practicing conservatism. Does she keep some mitzvos? Maybe, maybe not. She chopped off her son's peyos, and discarded his kippah.

Quote:
Iwish, do you know if she is happier in her life now?
I cannot imagine. In the beginning, the attention she got must have felt good, but once that waned, I'm sure she feels very alone having burnt all her bridges behind her.
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Old 07-03-2013, 10:13 AM
 
3,968 posts, read 3,354,369 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iwishiwerethin View Post
Knowing her and all the characters in her book the way I do, I could not stomach her lies-some of them so outrageous-and backstabbing.



She has totally left Judaism and her family behind. She admits as much in her book. She starts off by stating she's eating crab cakes. I don't know what you mean by practicing conservatism. Does she keep some mitzvos? Maybe, maybe not. She chopped off her son's peyos, and discarded his kippah.
Thankfully most go OTD as teenagers and before they have kids. What she did to her family is selfish and so painful to even think about. And then to write a book celebrating her terrible actions. Oye.
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Old 07-03-2013, 08:12 PM
 
2,391 posts, read 4,057,696 times
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Back to the subject....she had also told me that the Orthodox congregation has kicked out the Rabbi there after he tried to turn the place into Chabad. Worse than that, he's been buying homes in the nearby neighborhood of which he owns 5 homes. He's suppose to be concentrating on being a Rabbi and doing Rabbi duties, but instead is taking the donated funds there and buying homes. She got upset and has lost the respect of that Rabbi and congregation. What do you all think about this~?
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Old 07-03-2013, 08:51 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,605 posts, read 62,438,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggienut View Post
Has anyone here known of anyone who was brought up Orthodox
and they change to the Reform place of worship~?
You're describing the back story to the founding of nearly every Reform congregation.
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Old 07-03-2013, 09:04 PM
 
2,391 posts, read 4,057,696 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
You're describing the back story to the founding of nearly every Reform congregation.
Huh~? This happened at the Orthodox Congregation~! You mean it goes on at the Reform too~? I'm sure it goes on anywhere and everywhere. Look at the old TV Church with Jimmy & Tammy Lee Baker~!
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:50 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,538 posts, read 4,702,423 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggienut View Post
Back to the subject....she had also told me that the Orthodox congregation has kicked out the Rabbi there after he tried to turn the place into Chabad. Worse than that, he's been buying homes in the nearby neighborhood of which he owns 5 homes. He's suppose to be concentrating on being a Rabbi and doing Rabbi duties, but instead is taking the donated funds there and buying homes. She got upset and has lost the respect of that Rabbi and congregation. What do you all think about this~?
Generally speaking, people don't like leaders. My husband is a school administrator. The average time on the job for a Headmaster in an Independent school is 3 years. My SIL's father was a Christian pastor. They moved every 3 years when her Dad was fired. I am a little surprised to see this in Jewish circles. I had thought the culture was significantly different. :-/
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Long Island
1,726 posts, read 1,395,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
Generally speaking, people don't like leaders. My husband is a school administrator. The average time on the job for a Headmaster in an Independent school is 3 years. My SIL's father was a Christian pastor. They moved every 3 years when her Dad was fired. I am a little surprised to see this in Jewish circles. I had thought the culture was significantly different. :-/
It's not easy to match a rabbi to a congregation. Our rabbi of 17 years retired last year, and it's looking like the one we hired to replace him isn't a good match (that's why it's a two-year initial contract). And he was hired after a year long search and several visits by potential candidates. There have been rabbis that served for a decade, and others that didn't make it a year.

You can have two rabbis with very similar views when it comes to observance and halakhah, but with very different personalities and inter-personal skills.
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:35 AM
 
864 posts, read 735,401 times
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Quote:
I am a little surprised to see this in Jewish circles. I had thought the culture was significantly different.
In Jewish circles, unless Rabbis found their own congregations, which a lot of them do, the congregation will hire an outside person as Rabbi. The Rabbi, as a hired person, can either be a puppet to the congregation who hired him, or he can lead as he sees fit. This arrangement often ends up in conflict because nobody likes to be told what to do, especially if they hired the person who's doing the telling. A good Rabbi must be pious, principled, and ethical and have great interpersonal skills. Welcome to machlokes.
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Old 07-04-2013, 10:15 AM
 
2,391 posts, read 4,057,696 times
Reputation: 902
Quote:
Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
Google the phrase "off the derech." Sadly, there are far too many Orthodox Jews who lose their Yiddishkite. But very very few actually become Reform. The vast majority just end up becoming nothing. For somebody raised Orthodox, going to a reform shul can be an uber bizzare experience.

I've never heard of "off the derech" before. This is new to me. I did Google it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
To write a book and attempt to say there's something good about what she did is a big desecration of Hashem's name. It's fine if she wants to go off the derech. But she should have kept that a private matter.

Maybe it should of been kept quiet, but it was therapy for her and what she lived thru. I commend her for what she wrote about and lived thru. That is my opinion and if you don't like it, sue me (as a famous writer/laywer here says in his articles)



Quote:
Originally Posted by iwishiwerethin View Post
In Jewish circles, unless Rabbis found their own congregations, which a lot of them do, the congregation will hire an outside person as Rabbi. The Rabbi, as a hired person, can either be a puppet to the congregation who hired him, or he can lead as he sees fit. This arrangement often ends up in conflict because nobody likes to be told what to do, especially if they hired the person who's doing the telling. A good Rabbi must be pious, principled, and ethical and have great interpersonal skills. Welcome to machlokes.

What is "machlokes"~? I Google it but still don't understand. I've never heard of it.
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