U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Judaism
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-15-2013, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan
2,062 posts, read 3,555,935 times
Reputation: 2031

Advertisements

I was reading an story about a kid who had a bar-mitzvah, I guess it was a pretty big party they had this big celebration, with chorus girls dancing to Christian Agularia music, the man of the hour descending from the ceiling, and his name in spelled out in lights across the back of the stage. I know that not every bar-mitzvah is like this but there is kind of the sterotype of having a bit of an extravert celebration. My question is, has this celebration become more about having a big party, and not so much the religious aspect, similar to how Christmas has become more about gifts, and shopping and throwing a party? I am a Christian and don't know much about Jewish celebrations, and traditions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Long Island
1,711 posts, read 1,385,836 times
Reputation: 1405
What you're describing is the party after the bar Mitzvah, not the bar Mitzvah itself. The bar Mitzvah takes place in the synagogue; the boy (or girl in the the case of a bat Mitzvah in the Reform and Conservative sides) is called to the Torah for the first time, he wears tzitzit and counts as part of the minyan, and he will often lead the prayer service, read from the Torah, and give a synopsis of the day's portion.

And then, after the service is over, comes the party.

I'd compare what more to the party that often takes place after a confirmation or wedding rather than the commercialization of a holiday.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 10:40 AM
 
3,945 posts, read 3,339,069 times
Reputation: 1246
JB is correct on all accounts.

Probably worth noting as well, is the Bar Mitzvah is not a religious ceremony, per se. It's a day like any other day in the year. There are no special extra readings from the Torah, or extra prayers said in shul. A boy becomes a Bar Mitzvah on the day he turns 13, whether he goes to shul and reads from the Torah, or if he chooses to sleep in and watch cartoons on tv.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 11:56 AM
 
864 posts, read 733,457 times
Reputation: 251
The bar mitzvah celebration you're describing does not sound very Jewish. As Flip Flop said, boys become Bar Mitzvah on the day they turn thirteen, regardless of what they do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 12:41 PM
 
3,945 posts, read 3,339,069 times
Reputation: 1246
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwishiwerethin View Post
The bar mitzvah celebration you're describing does not sound very Jewish. As Flip Flop said, boys become Bar Mitzvah on the day they turn thirteen, regardless of what they do.
I've seen a video of the bar mitzvah celebration the OP is desecribing. Sadly, many Jews are so caught up in gashmius (worldly pursuits) that they are unable to pursue ruchnius (spiritual pursuits). The video is a chilul Hashem, as witnessed by the creation of this thread in the first place. I was sorry I clicked the link in the first place as the video also contained kol isha, kol beged and chukas hagoyim.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 12:48 PM
 
3,945 posts, read 3,339,069 times
Reputation: 1246
FWIW, when boys become Bar Mitzvah in my shul, they typically make a siyum (festive meal) to celebrate the completion of a section of Talmud, if not all of Mishnayos. Family and friends are invited, food is served, and the gedolim of the community (the Jewish leaders) give dvar Torah (words of Torah wisdom), and then the Bar Mitzvah boy concludes the festivities by teaching out the final paragraph of Talmud for all to hear. We say the hadran (the passage one reads upon completing a section of Talmud) and finally the boy gets a hearty mazel tov.

At non-frum Bar Mitzvahs - all that money spent of live entertainment and other shtuss (nothingness) is a real shame. Think of all the tzedakah that could be given instead (again, sadly, most of those families probably give their charity to the arts and other worthless "causes," instead of focusing on Jews in need).

<off my soap box now>
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
2,538 posts, read 4,689,167 times
Reputation: 2590
Quote:
Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
FWIW, when boys become Bar Mitzvah in my shul, they typically make a siyum (festive meal) to celebrate the completion of a section of Talmud, if not all of Mishnayos. Family and friends are invited, food is served, and the gedolim of the community (the Jewish leaders) give dvar Torah (words of Torah wisdom), and then the Bar Mitzvah boy concludes the festivities by teaching out the final paragraph of Talmud for all to hear. We say the hadran (the passage one reads upon completing a section of Talmud) and finally the boy gets a hearty mazel tov.

At non-frum Bar Mitzvahs - all that money spent of live entertainment and other shtuss (nothingness) is a real shame. Think of all the tzedakah that could be given instead (again, sadly, most of those families probably give their charity to the arts and other worthless "causes," instead of focusing on Jews in need).

<off my soap box now>
Money given to the arts is a worthy cause. I have a Jewish friend who is very poor. Her son happens to be a very gifted musician. Donations to the arts in our community has allowed him to have tuition free music lessons and he now plays in the symphony. How sad that you don't see that value in music and the joy it brings to humanity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan
2,062 posts, read 3,555,935 times
Reputation: 2031
Quote:
Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
I've seen a video of the bar mitzvah celebration the OP is desecribing. Sadly, many Jews are so caught up in gashmius (worldly pursuits) that they are unable to pursue ruchnius (spiritual pursuits). The video is a chilul Hashem, as witnessed by the creation of this thread in the first place. I was sorry I clicked the link in the first place as the video also contained kol isha, kol beged and chukas hagoyim.
First thank you, and others for the translations , Secondly, the second sentence, is why I was comparing it to Christmas because it seems to have lost most of it's spiritual connection, and is more focused on other things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 02:16 PM
 
3,945 posts, read 3,339,069 times
Reputation: 1246
Quote:
Originally Posted by pegotty View Post
Money given to the arts is a worthy cause. I have a Jewish friend who is very poor. Her son happens to be a very gifted musician. Donations to the arts in our community has allowed him to have tuition free music lessons and he now plays in the symphony. How sad that you don't see that value in music and the joy it brings to humanity.
There's probably no intrinsic right or wrong, when it comes to one's belief that the secular arts are worthy or not. I used to be a big supporter of the arts before I was introduced to the beauty of yiddishkite. But as I get closer and closer to the truth, found through limud haTorah (the studying of Torah and Talmud), the secular arts appear more and more to me to simply be shtuss (nothingness), as well as gashmius (worldy pursuit).

I believe it's a yetzer hara (evil inclination) that motivates a Jew to ignore his Jewish brothers and sisters who are suffering, in lieu of giving support to secular and goyish influences. Not to mention the consistent violation of Torah mitzvos and hashkafo (Jewish outlook) that are commonly committed in "the arts." The arts consistently support anti-Jewish and anti-Torah concepts, delivering this terrible message to liberal and progressive Jews who lack the Torah understanding to reject such influences. I simply reject anti-Torah messages, and I encourage my fellow Jews to learn more Torah so that one day they too will reject the hatred
and attempted destruction of the Jewish soul.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-17-2013, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,112,597 times
Reputation: 1399
Quote:
Originally Posted by theflipflop View Post
The arts consistently support anti-Jewish and anti-Torah concepts
If it is any comfort, I think a lot of devout Christians feel the same way. Remember this work of art that was supported by so-called liberal art lovers.

http://www.usc.edu/schools/annenberg...mages/502.html

At that time, I wondered how people would regard an 'art work' that had a Star of David stuck in a pile of manure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Judaism
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top