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Old 01-13-2014, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,396 posts, read 24,247,732 times
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After the death of a person aren't we supposed to wait until the shloshim is over before erecting a headstone?

The Satmars already unveiled a stone and its been barely two weeks since Menachem Stark was murdered.

Photo: Monument Unveiled on the Grave of Slain Philanthropist Menachem Stark - JP Updates | JP Updates
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Old 01-14-2014, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,700 posts, read 2,075,695 times
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Many cemeteries require that you wait months before erecting a headstone in order to allow the ground to settle.
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Old 01-14-2014, 09:57 AM
 
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I doubt there's a halachic issue with erecting the headstone so quickly. I'm not sure of the minhag. Could be Satmar has their own minhag.
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Old 01-20-2014, 12:35 PM
 
32,261 posts, read 33,175,458 times
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I believe in Israel it is common to place a headstone on a grave on the 30th day.
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Old 01-20-2014, 12:59 PM
 
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Quote:
I believe in Israel it is common to place a headstone on a grave on the 30th day.
Some place the headstone after shiva, some after shloshim, some after a year, some during the year when it's convenient.
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Old 01-20-2014, 11:04 PM
 
9,271 posts, read 10,968,889 times
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I always thought it was supposed to be a year?
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Old 01-26-2014, 08:29 PM
 
Location: University City, Philadelphia
22,592 posts, read 12,397,083 times
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How about even before the person is dead?

Hear me out.

Just suppose you're a single person with no immediate family, and you don't want your funeral, grave, and monument to be a financial burden to your friends, neighbors and/or distant relatives. So, you buy your cemetery plot, arrange with a funeral home a "pre-need" plan, and order your own monument but without the death date carved in it yet.

I mean, how many times have you seen a monument for husband and wife (one stone) and one of the spouses is not yet deceased? "FINKEL - dear husband Max (1930 -2011), his beloved wife Rose (1932 - )

Is is macabre and goulish that a person might want to order and pay for their own stone? That way one gets to choose his or her color of granite and the design!
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Old 01-26-2014, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,396 posts, read 24,247,732 times
Reputation: 8883
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark Park View Post
How about even before the person is dead?

Just suppose you're a single person with no immediate family, and you don't want your funeral, grave, and monument to be a financial burden to your friends, neighbors and/or distant relatives. So, you buy your cemetery plot, arrange with a funeral home a "pre-need" plan, and order your own monument but without the death date carved in it yet.

I mean, how many times have you seen a monument for husband and wife (one stone) and one of the spouses is not yet deceased? "FINKEL - dear husband Max (1930 -2011), his beloved wife Rose (1932 - )

Is it macabre and goulish that a person might want to order and pay for their own stone? That way one gets to choose his or her color of granite and the design!
Actually I've seen numerous double-headstones like your describing in the NY Metro Area. The headstone makers sold people on the idea of paying a few hundred now and pay very little later just to inscribe the date. It was a lie. I know of two families who were charged in excess of $400 to just inscribe the date.

As to your query, plans already exists for what you are describing. But even with those you need to read the fine print.

Should You Prepay Your Own Funeral Expenses? - US News and World Report
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