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JB, it sounds like you've attached to a community (or at least a family) that is very supportive of your growing Yiddishkite. It also sounds like you and your wife may be holding at different levels of observance, but you're both pointed in exactly the (correct) same direction. I think this will all balance out over time, as long as you both have the same long term goals. It also could be that a final conversion wouldn't take so long, especially if you're already living inside a frum community, observing the mitzvos. The conversion process is there to help her (really both of you) button up the mitzvos where you still need some growth.
Hatzlacha rabba. Sound like you're "on the derech," and you have all kinds of exciting things ahead of you.
when I asked a Rebbetzin about this once, about people within a family growing in observance, but not necessarily at the same place as each other, she stated never seek to impose or force on another person a practice or observance; that the individual person needs to choose each for himself or herself because it is between them and God how they keep the mitzvot.
if a person wants to eat only kosher food, whether that is at home or at a restaurant, then the person does that. if I go out with others at a non-kosher restaurant (guests, visitors, non-observant family members) because I want to enjoy their company eating out, I order black tea in a to-go cup, sweeten it with sugar packets, and do not eat the food served there. (I eat something before or after for my own comfort.) Since I have never lived anywhere that had any kosher eating places whatsoever, I have had to learn how to be observant in a non-observant community. And it comes in stages: for me it was the food first; then later the dishes (plates, cups, etc.)
as a woman, there are many questions I can ask a Rebbetzin that I would not feel comfortable asking a Rabbi. And for those questions that are too personal or private to me to even ask a Rebbetzin in person, there are online kosher resources for a woman to ask a Rebbetzin online and get very helpful information. I have used these many times over the years and they always steer me in the right direction and bring peace of mind. So if your wife is comfortable talking to a Rebbetzin either in person or on line that is useful.
and of course daven to Hashem for both the general and the specific. today for me it was "God help me grow in my observance, show me how to be the person You want me to be, see that I live the life You want me to live. And what am I supposed to do at work when people keep putting boxes of donuts on my desk? i need help on this" etc.
I think it's so cool that you would go to a non Kosher place with friends and only order what you order, the whole while, them knowing that you only eat Kosher.
I gave up on trying to be kosher cause I live in a non Kosher area, although I would love to stay Kosher if it were a little more convenient and affordable, but it isn't for me.
It doesn't matter to me that much because the bad misdeeds in my life so far out weigh my non kosherness, that it would seem not to be an issue.
But you do the right thing in staying particular and your friends should know and respect that about you, you should stand out like a sore thumb, that is your mission.
I think it's so cool that you would go to a non Kosher place with friends and only order what you order, the whole while, them knowing that you only eat Kosher.
I gave up on trying to be kosher cause I live in a non Kosher area, although I would love to stay Kosher if it were a little more convenient and affordable, but it isn't for me.
It doesn't matter to me that much because the bad misdeeds in my life so far out weigh my non kosherness, that it would seem not to be an issue.
But you do the right thing in staying particular and your friends should know and respect that about you, you should stand out like a sore thumb, that is your mission.
I gave up on trying to be kosher cause I live in a non Kosher area, although I would love to stay Kosher if it were a little more convenient and affordable..
You have it wrong! Keeping kosher is more expensive than not keeping kosher!
You have it wrong! Keeping kosher is more expensive than not keeping kosher!
for me it is cheaper to keep kosher
because when I was not keeping kosher I ate out a lot
and now that I keep kosher I never eat out because I live in an area with no kosher dining places
also when I was not kosher I ate meat, and when I started keeping kosher I stopped eating meat which saves money (cost was NOT the reason I gave up meat)
however even if it was more expensive, that is part of trusting Hashem to bring us our livelihood to cover all expenses related to being a kosher Jew
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 08-19-2015 at 09:17 AM..
for me it is cheaper to keep kosher
because when I was not keeping kosher I ate out a lot
and now that I keep kosher I never eat out because I live in an area with no kosher dining places
also when I was not kosher I ate meat, and when I started keeping kosher I stopped eating meat which saves money (cost was NOT the reason I gave up meat)
however even if it was more expensive, that is part of trusting Hashem to bring us our livelihood to cover all expenses related to being a kosher Jew
I didn't quite explain myself, but when I was younger and when I did eat meat (haven't eaten meat and been a vegetarian for 40 years now) and hamburger was over $4 a pound where the unkosher hamburger meat was a $1 plus a pound. Anyways, eating out on a daily basis for anyone is expensive.
You have it wrong! Keeping kosher is more expensive than not keeping kosher!
I don't really have control over money or what I eat too much, I work everyday of the week, but somebody else handles the money I get. Since I am non kosher meat myself, non-kosher isn't poisonous to me like it maybe for Jews.;]
I have very little control over my life and choosing things is not that much of an option, I am blessed to get what I get. I do wish I lived around kosher people in a kosher neighborhood, but it still doesn't matter, I feel so much shame elsewhere in my life, it would be like kidding myself.
Last edited by Hannibal Flavius; 08-19-2015 at 10:21 AM..
I was wondering just how things get kosher, I think I understand all the meat and dairy side of the issue and kosher meat markets, but what about veggies, and fruit, fish?
What foods MUST have an inspector?
Who knows, maybe it's not as impossible as I think, if I only get kosher meats, am I almost covered?
in general, about 80% of what a person has in their cupboards is kosher, look for the symbol U in a circle O; or the letter K in a circle O.
fruit that is not processed is generally kosher; peel, scrub clean, bugs in fruit may affect whether it is kosher; canned fruit would need the symbol indicating it is kosher;
veggies are kosher if they are scrubbed clean (such as potatoes) but need careful steps for washing and inspection for bugs for some veggies such as leafy greens or broccoli; canned veggies look for the kosher symbol
fish that is packaged look for kosher symbol
some types of fish are never kosher such as shellfish; other types of fresh fish are kosher but need to be handled in a manner that does not render them unfit
the above are general guidelines, a person would read more for specifics to ensure they are following Jewish law relating to kashrut
in general, about 80% of what a person has in their cupboards is kosher, look for the symbol U in a circle O; or the letter K in a circle O.
fruit that is not processed is generally kosher; canned fruit would need the symbol indicating it is kosher; either peel, scrub clean, bugs in fruit may affect whether it is kosher
veggies are kosher if they are scrubbed clean (such as potatoes) but need careful steps for washing and inspection for bugs for some veggies such as leafy greens or broccoli; canned veggies look for the kosher symbol
fish that is packaged look for kosher symbol
some types of fish are never kosher such as shellfish; other types of fresh fish are kosher but need to be handled in a manner that does not render them unfit
the above are general guidelines, a person would read more for specifics to ensure they are following Jewish law relating to kashrut
Ya know, I think I could do all that, I just need to get to a Kosher meat market once a week. It's funny how you can't even buy meat without it having a preservative on it and the preservatives are made with swine juice, good O'll swine juice saves the day. Seems like they should have to label the swine juice right there on the hamburger package. I think also that it was a big issue with buying meat back in the day when animals were sacrificed and half of it was sold, and the other half given to a pagan church.
The idea of doing business with a pagan who supported his religion with your money, that's the biggest reason I would really try to go kosher, I would rather do business with people who believe in the same God I believe in.
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