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I'm in a bit of a weird situation. I went to a black hat yeshiva for middle school and high school, where I learned gemara, halacha, parsha, navi, etc. After 12th grade, I decided to go to a secular college with no avenues through which I could further study the the subjects I engaged in during high school. I wanted to break from the black hat environment to be in a place where I could study my passions.
Yet now, two and a half years later, I want to reconnect with gemara, halacha, etc. I have kept kosher and gone to shul throughout college, but my skills with gemara have completely eroded. I've tried studying by myself, but I always find myself relying too heavily on the Artscoll translations. I cannot do it by myself and really think I could really benefit from being in a program with a teacher(s).
I've thought that a summer program might be a good avenue through which I could reconnect, but I don't know what options exist. I don't want to be in a program meant for complete beginners and/or people who have never been in a Jewish school before, but I don't think I'm at a competent level. I'm also limited with this because my family can't really afford to spend a lot of money on this for me, and I need to stay in the northeast. If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate them.
I find it to be pretty unbelievable that you spent six years learning the Torah and Talmud being able to read it without understanding what you were reading especially as a Chassidic. What sect was this run by? What was your primary education up to 6th grade?
Let me clarify - I am not Chassidic nor ever was. I went to Modern Orthodox day schools for elementary school, and an Orthodox yeshiva for middle school and high school (it was only for guys, went from really early in the morning until late at night, had school six days a week, had a dual curriculum). The yeshiva is black hat but not Chassidic - more than Modern Orthodox, but less than Chassidic.
I can read Hebrew just fine, and picked up on some translation and techniques about how to learn when I was in high school. The translations I knew are almost all, as are the ways to learn. I can sit with an Artscroll, read their translation, and understand it, but I don't think that's a good way to learn. I don't get much out of it. But when faced with a daf of gemara (or anything else), I'm not able to make any headway on my own.
With translations, I have taken modern Hebrew as a foreign language in college for two years, so I do have a very little overlap there.
I can talk to the Chabad on campus and see about that. I tried setting up a chavrusa through Chabad two years ago, but it didn't stick. At the time, I did it once a week for about an hour, but it didn't seem like enough time to grasp any material. Coupled with the fast, bekiyus-style pace that he wanted to learn in, it didn't work out.
The Hillel doesn't have any learning opportunities. I'm one of only a handful of Orthodox students at the college (all commute), so the Hillel caters more towards the abundance of students who did not grow up frum. No traditional minyanim, no kosher food, only programming they have on Shabbos violates the rules of Shabbos. Not expecting anything on that front.
I think that doing something in depth over the summer would be a good solution, but I don't really know what options there are. I was considering something like Drisha Kollel for college students, but the alumni of the program that I know are way more advanced than I am. I don't really see programs at what I perceive my level to be.
If the Chabad does one-on-one study (with the rabbi), maybe that's an option? Maybe they could do 1.5h a week. That would be something at least and some of them are very good at teaching at the level of a student they are working with, no matter if it's very basic or advanced but not "pro" as seems to be the case for you.
CHeck out Ohr Semeach in Monsey, NY. They can tailor a Gamara program for you and are willing to do the finances in a way that is to ensure you come. It's an amazing place to sit and learn for any amount of time. AISH in NYC is another great option.
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