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that's twice now you've said i'm "into Chabad." It doesn't sound very warm or descriptive in the way you are saying it.
I am a Jew. Since I follow the path of the Baal Shem Tov, I also identify as chassidic. I am also an orthodox Jew. I do attend Chabad shuls, for services and classes and learning, and have great regard and respect for the kiruv that Chabad does in reaching people like me who were totally lost to Judaism. However in chassidut parlance I am Breslov.
Thank you.
"Being into" something is not something negative. Must be the age difference that we have different connotations. I am not writing "descriptively" because I am pretty busy right now and like to keep things short.
I go to Chabad regularly (though also other shuls). If I have a halachic question, I ask a Chabad rabbi because that's the guy I trust the most and he's the guy who knows me best to help me out on some specific questions. Hope you feel better now.
Yes it is anyways worth posting and discussing because many people read these posts and this forum, so it is certainly an opportunity to share and learn Torah with regards to marriage and tznius and Jewish law and religious observance.
Sure thing; if that is what you want to do. I just hope everybody who reads this actually knows what tznius even is.
OP, this is destined to fail. You actually know this. You are already irate with her zealousy, you only do not accept it yet.
Being "clicked" together on such important things as intelligence, mutual interests, spiritual life etc is paramount to any healthy relationship. This is said even without mentioning that people do change over time and, like driver on the freeway in front of you, you can never predict what they will do.
Relationship so different in its core interest - and this only tip of iceberg you know - is failure to come, unless you want to be submissive to her later down the road and lose YOUR authenticity. As she won't budge, it's guaranteed. And her zeaousy will only grow, as she ages.
I spoke. Get a matchmaker. A good old experienced Jewish matchmaker.
Ironically, I've always wanted to meet a somewhat religious girl, mostly because I'm fairly old school when it comes to relationships (not into hookups, looking for marriage, etc). I used to be religious for a few years as a teen, but the hypocrisy turned me off.
I've only been on a few dates with her, but we seem to be clicking on a lot of things. So far, she's the exact kind of person I always wanted to meet.
The only catch is, she's fairly hardcore on being religious (bal tchuvas (sp?) usually are). She observes all the holidays, fasts, dress, and she'll use Hebrew words in English midway while texting (and no she doesn't speak Hebrew). We haven't done anything other than eating out and coffee and I've yet to date a religious person, so I have no idea how to approach stuff like doing a road trip, watching a movie, going to a bar/club/dancing, or sex. Even flirting and intimacy in general (which I'm gonna naturally want to do when engaging in anything more than just eating food). I remember this stuff was shunned in general when I was in Yeshiva so I'm scared to bring this up. I don't know if shes opposed to things like that, and I don't know how to approach asking about something like that without getting awkward. Going to grab food is pretty limiting way in getting to know someone that I'd spend the rest of my life with, so I'll need to switch things up for our next date,
Also, I'm afraid that she'll want me to become religious and I don't know if she knows I'm not. I have no qualms in respecting most traditions (except the electricity stuff...that's just outdated) and sending my kids to Yeshiva for a year or two to see if they like it (though I'd also want to be involved in fixing the system as it's extremely broken and ****) but I don't think I can ever believe in that sense. Not in any established religion. Just worried in getting extremely attached to a person that wants me to believe in something I can't...or be someone I'm not.
Is this destined to fail or am I just overthinking? What kind of limits should I be aware of in trying new things for dating and see what we can do together?
Sounds like you're not a match. If a secular/Reform/Traditionally Conservative Jewish girl is who you'll be compatible with, someone who's Conservadox bordering on Orthodoxadox is not the person for you. You will not change her. If you gloss over these differences and choose to view the relationship through rose colored glasses all the way to marriage, you will butt heads over how to raise your children and bitterly divorce.
Ironically, I've always wanted to meet a somewhat religious girl, mostly because I'm fairly old school when it comes to relationships (not into hookups, looking for marriage, etc). I used to be religious for a few years as a teen, but the hypocrisy turned me off.
I've only been on a few dates with her, but we seem to be clicking on a lot of things. So far, she's the exact kind of person I always wanted to meet.
The only catch is, she's fairly hardcore on being religious (bal tchuvas (sp?) usually are). She observes all the holidays, fasts, dress, and she'll use Hebrew words in English midway while texting (and no she doesn't speak Hebrew). We haven't done anything other than eating out and coffee and I've yet to date a religious person, so I have no idea how to approach stuff like doing a road trip, watching a movie, going to a bar/club/dancing, or sex. Even flirting and intimacy in general (which I'm gonna naturally want to do when engaging in anything more than just eating food). I remember this stuff was shunned in general when I was in Yeshiva so I'm scared to bring this up. I don't know if shes opposed to things like that, and I don't know how to approach asking about something like that without getting awkward. Going to grab food is pretty limiting way in getting to know someone that I'd spend the rest of my life with, so I'll need to switch things up for our next date,
Also, I'm afraid that she'll want me to become religious and I don't know if she knows I'm not. I have no qualms in respecting most traditions (except the electricity stuff...that's just outdated) and sending my kids to Yeshiva for a year or two to see if they like it (though I'd also want to be involved in fixing the system as it's extremely broken and ****) but I don't think I can ever believe in that sense. Not in any established religion. Just worried in getting extremely attached to a person that wants me to believe in something I can't...or be someone I'm not.
Is this destined to fail or am I just overthinking? What kind of limits should I be aware of in trying new things for dating and see what we can do together?
According to the Bible it is best if a believer stays away from you. Be ye not unequally yoked. One should not date someone they would not marry and if you don't believe you are not marriage material.
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