U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Judaism
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-26-2018, 01:40 PM
 
9 posts, read 2,717 times
Reputation: 20

Advertisements

So I'm just at this point that I give up. I tried to date only Jewish for about 10 years now. Spend $13/month on sawyouatsinai. $17/month on Jswipe. $50-100/month on various Jewish events from JCC/MJE/etc.

0 dates in 3 years.

Now I'll admit I'm not the best looking guy. My personality is fairly typical American. I also admit that my game isn't that great. But I've gone on dates and relationships with several non Jewish women, but I've broke up with them because they weren't Jewish. To respect my parents wishes in not intermarrying and keeping faith.

In all my Jewish events I see the same people frequent them. Same men, sometimes same women. Almost always men outnumber women.

And it's because women don't have this burden. They can marry anyone and it's hunky dory. They meet their little notch by existing. No matter what their kids will be Jewish. So they don't have to care.

Meanwhile men do, and thus become desparate and meek. This would be mitigated if there were actual efforts to have many events for single men and women to meet, but instead there's a limited amount of explicit singles meetups mostly in bars/clubs, with other implicit ones as "Young Professionals".

Yesterday attended a Jswipe event in NYC to the usual affair: a vast outnumbering of socially awkward men to women whom never go to nightclubs but are forced to because their religion won't pass through. These are good people forced to constantly berate the few women at the event like pigeons. Women meanwhile were only semi interested mostly for the free attention. It was pathetic and sad...

So I ask: how can anyone be expected to feel guilty for marrying outside faith when there are so few explicit opportunities to meet others? Why should any god judge and expect someone to become miserable during the best years of their life just because of some rule that forces you to date less than 1% of the population that isn't that interested anyway since they don't have to? This whole process is madness...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-26-2018, 06:47 PM
 
13,092 posts, read 13,685,110 times
Reputation: 9156
Quote:
Originally Posted by someonestolemyuser View Post
So I'm just at this point that I give up. I tried to date only Jewish for about 10 years now. Spend $13/month on sawyouatsinai. $17/month on Jswipe. $50-100/month on various Jewish events from JCC/MJE/etc.

0 dates in 3 years.

Now I'll admit I'm not the best looking guy. My personality is fairly typical American. I also admit that my game isn't that great. But I've gone on dates and relationships with several non Jewish women, but I've broke up with them because they weren't Jewish. To respect my parents wishes in not intermarrying and keeping faith.

In all my Jewish events I see the same people frequent them. Same men, sometimes same women. Almost always men outnumber women.

And it's because women don't have this burden. They can marry anyone and it's hunky dory. They meet their little notch by existing. No matter what their kids will be Jewish. So they don't have to care.

Meanwhile men do, and thus become desparate and meek. This would be mitigated if there were actual efforts to have many events for single men and women to meet, but instead there's a limited amount of explicit singles meetups mostly in bars/clubs, with other implicit ones as "Young Professionals".

Yesterday attended a Jswipe event in NYC to the usual affair: a vast outnumbering of socially awkward men to women whom never go to nightclubs but are forced to because their religion won't pass through. These are good people forced to constantly berate the few women at the event like pigeons. Women meanwhile were only semi interested mostly for the free attention. It was pathetic and sad...

So I ask: how can anyone be expected to feel guilty for marrying outside faith when there are so few explicit opportunities to meet others? Why should any god judge and expect someone to become miserable during the best years of their life just because of some rule that forces you to date less than 1% of the population that isn't that interested anyway since they don't have to? This whole process is madness...
How old are you and what part of the country do you live?

Regarding "women don't have to care" that sounds strange.
of course women care. women care about not just "having Jewish kids" but also "having a Jewish marriage" and "living in a Jewish household" and "raising children in a Jewish home" and "living a Jewish life" because that is how we are instructed to live as Jews. Women also care that our children and grandchildren aren't "lost" from the Jewish people through intermarriage. Intermarriage is a recipe for losing Jews, generally within 1-2 generations, 3 at the most.

those matter very much.

Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-26-2018 at 06:57 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2018, 05:20 AM
 
32,063 posts, read 32,962,795 times
Reputation: 14945
How about immigrating to Israel where most women that you meet will be Jewish? If not immigrating just go for an extended vacation and perhaps you can meet an Israeli Jewish woman would like to move to the USA!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2018, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,353 posts, read 24,089,891 times
Reputation: 8864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
How old are you and what part of the country do you live?

Regarding "women don't have to care" that sounds strange.
of course women care. women care about not just "having Jewish kids" but also "having a Jewish marriage" and "living in a Jewish household" and "raising children in a Jewish home" and "living a Jewish life" because that is how we are instructed to live as Jews. Women also care that our children and grandchildren aren't "lost" from the Jewish people through intermarriage. Intermarriage is a recipe for losing Jews, generally within 1-2 generations, 3 at the most.

those matter very much.
The OP is in NYC where dating overall is difficult. But you are correct about the "women don't have to care" comment sounding strange.

Looked up the event he mentioned where he stated "Yesterday attended a Jswipe event in NYC to the usual affair: a vast outnumbering of socially awkward men to women..." and according to FB, women outnumbered men per the comments. Per the comments, the attendees seemed to be Modern Orthodox.

https://www.facebook.com/events/210259113013101/

Quote:
It's hot as matzah balls in NY so we're taking our party indoors where vibes are high and temps are low.
We're moving our next party to The Lately - and its gonna be 🔥🔥🔥
Come party with us Wednesday, July 25th and meet some of the best J's NYC has to offer.
Open bar from 7pm-8pm. Yep, you read that right.
Bring your cute friends and RSVP.
Free entry 21+
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-28-2018, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,353 posts, read 24,089,891 times
Reputation: 8864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
How about immigrating to Israel where most women that you meet will be Jewish? If not immigrating just go for an extended vacation and perhaps you can meet an Israeli Jewish woman would like to move to the USA!
OP may want to do a Birthright trip first as the Israeli life is not for everyone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-30-2018, 05:35 PM
 
10,527 posts, read 15,580,641 times
Reputation: 11839
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel View Post
How old are you and what part of the country do you live?

Regarding "women don't have to care" that sounds strange.
of course women care. women care about not just "having Jewish kids" but also "having a Jewish marriage" and "living in a Jewish household" and "raising children in a Jewish home" and "living a Jewish life" because that is how we are instructed to live as Jews. Women also care that our children and grandchildren aren't "lost" from the Jewish people through intermarriage. Intermarriage is a recipe for losing Jews, generally within 1-2 generations, 3 at the most.

those matter very much.



Op is referring to determination of who is a Jew.
It used to be determined by paternal line but around 4th century, if my memory does not deceive me, it was changed to maternal line.
Hence, to be considered a Jew, one must be born to a Jew mother. There are some other considerations, sometimes involving affidavit from two rabbi but bloodline goes by mother. And it makes perfect sense, as when you go by father, maybe now you do, but in pre DNA testing times, you didn't really know for sure, who the father was.

This is in Israel immigration policy. I looked into this years ago, when I found about it. That said, there is some merit to OP statement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2018, 05:15 AM
 
32,063 posts, read 32,962,795 times
Reputation: 14945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pruzhany View Post
OP may want to do a Birthright trip first as the Israeli life is not for everyone.
Well that depends if the OP meets the age limit requirements!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2018, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Eretz Yisrael
21,353 posts, read 24,089,891 times
Reputation: 8864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chava61 View Post
Well that depends if the OP meets the age limit requirements!
At it being 18 to 32, the OP probably does.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2018, 10:39 AM
 
13,092 posts, read 13,685,110 times
Reputation: 9156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pruzhany View Post
At it being 18 to 32, the OP probably does.
they raised it to age 32?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2018, 10:54 AM
 
13,092 posts, read 13,685,110 times
Reputation: 9156
Quote:
Originally Posted by ukrkoz View Post
Op is referring to determination of who is a Jew.
It used to be determined by paternal line but around 4th century, if my memory does not deceive me, it was changed to maternal line.
Hence, to be considered a Jew, one must be born to a Jew mother. There are some other considerations, sometimes involving affidavit from two rabbi but bloodline goes by mother. And it makes perfect sense, as when you go by father, maybe now you do, but in pre DNA testing times, you didn't really know for sure, who the father was.

This is in Israel immigration policy. I looked into this years ago, when I found about it. That said, there is some merit to OP statement.
wow, you're that old?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Judaism
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top