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I read your midwest mentality thread. I think the mentality thing is true, but more fine-grain than just large regions of the country. I don't even consider KC to be "midwest", more like plains.
I even notice different attitudes in different parts of the metro, of course joco having some yuppie Dallas-style sunbelt influence, which leads to some better quality more stable people, though with some pretentiousness as well. Many joco kids are potheads using parents' money for many things, going to KU to major in psychology and then who-knows what afterwards. I was at KU and I overheard a convo that went like this:
A: yea man, he just graduated and such
B: oh really? where does he work?
A: such and such auto place.
B: you mean the same place he worked in high school?
A: yep
However on a drive through the missouri suburbia/countryside, it seems the pace of life in MO-side suburbia is much slower and more redneck than anything. Not 100% of course as I know some sophisticated people stuck there that want to get the hell out. By this I mean stuff like Blue Springs High trying to form a GSA, getting slammed down by the district, and fighting like crazy to eventually get it back. This is not a slam against MO, it's simply that if you're smarter or more sophisticated than everyone around you, or if you don't want to get married straight out of either high school or college, you're going to feel left out. This can happen even in JoCo, as most of the smart, motivated people I went to high school with got out as soon as they could.
Not that I really care that much, but can anyone explain what's up with the getting married early thing? Though I know that's not as common anymore with more transplants, but still. It seems even middle schoolers are thinking about future marriage and maneuvering themselves to get the ideal wife/hubby. So when I go to hangouts of college or similar twentysomething ppl, all the dudes seem hostile that another guy is entering the scene, when available women are possibly scarce. Never mind that I'm more likely to hit on *them* than their girlfriend, lol.
Does anyone know where KC ranks in terms of drug use, alcoholism, etc?
It seems though KC is not the only area with these kinds of issues. "Seattle Freeze" comes to mind. I hear Minnesota is the same way. Must have something to do with scandinavian + cold. Yet those scandinavian blondes are so attractive! Why must life be so cruel?
People here are very passive aggressive as well as Saint Louis, highly cliquey, very judgemental but nice to your face. I also agree it is hard to get a simple get together going, people whine about their health issues or relationships. It seems like a weak area. People are not very genine and outgoing, and if they are outgoing it is fake as I have heard MANY talk behind others back even 60 year olds and save face in person, it all stems from weak personalities, passive aggressiveness and negative outlooks. New York yes is fast paced, some rude people like here, but outgoing and tough skinned people also more genuine. People have very low standards for friends and everything here in the midwest. A lot are rude but always say rude things about other big cities, hence the rude part. If you find your best friends and want to get married so be it that's great but many many people are single out of the midwest and KC and St. Louis. Many. A lot of people here too, in all honesty, are very insecure but keep that fake smile on their faces, if they were more genuine and also toughened up a bit they'd be a better environment for everyone.
People are people everywhere else, but small towns and small town mentality cities are what Jason is describing. People in DC ARE very friendly sure they may come off rushed or rude to the midwesterns but they have places to go and things to do, they are very real though compared to KC and St. Louis, Same with a lot of the east coast, excluding North Carolina. Yes there are rude ones everyone, stupid ones everywhere, but the culture of the whole city in general changes where you go, and the attitudes, upbringings, social settings, it's true.
What constitutes a bad driver, driving slow and taking too long to get over, or one who drives fast, goes with flow of traffic and drives like they have a place to be. In DC,NYC You honk no one gives you the old finger, they just DRIVE, thicker skins, in Saint Louis it seems you will get followed home and someone will get out of the car to try and tough guy talk you, they take it to heart, flick you off, yell, scream out the window (THATS A BIG ONE IN ST LOUIS HOOSHIER CAN WE SAY), NYC may come off rude but they are helpful people especially if you go visit, appear genuine and they will too, they are thicker skinned as its a bigger city and they meet MORE NEW PEOPLE unlike ST LOUIS AND KC. But I'd rather genuinely not like someone off the bat when they stay who they are then be tricked like a lot of people around here who act your friend then are acting passive aggressive.
I don't get this thread. It reminds me of the one about KC being unfriendly to outsiders. I think much of these subjective experiences are based personal factors - what part of the city you live and work, who you hang out with and your personal attitudes.
All the complaints are not something I've noticed at all. I'm 30 and more of my peers are unmarried than married. There are quite a few who have recently gotten engaged - but getting married in your early 30s is hardly right out of college.
I think this thread may relate to JoCo (and possibly other suburbs) but not to the city.
Then the original poster says "joco having some yuppie Dallas-style sunbelt influence, which leads to some better quality more stable people, " What does that mean, anyway? I think I see your problem right there.
I guess what I should have asked was...... how does one interact and be successful with people like this? I'm sure there are strategies, but they must be different than say being successful in Austin.
I have some ideas:
1. Live on the Plaza, Downtown, or some place "neutral" to the KS/MO debate. The Plaza/Midtown/Westport areas seem to be the most respected by both sides of the line. I get judged down a lot for living in Olathe, though living in Blue Springs would still get some awkward sighs by some on the KS side.
2. Listen to more country, top 40, and rap.
3. Be a complete and total narcissist. The only people I know who have much success are this way. However they take it too far and are backstabby along with it which causes a lot to hate them as well.
4. When in Rome... maybe I just need to have simpler more redneck tastes, though play them down when in Blue Valley.
5. Have a facebook account with 3000+ friends. Goes along with being a narcissist.
6. Get a "cool" job, as opposed to the "nerdy" one I currently have.
7. Find out who my family is. My mother hid me from most of her family here because they are "missouri white trash". Most of my dad's side is well, dead. I understand this as she grew up in WyCo and worked harder than hell to get where she is today. She really did not want to be poor and picked a good area to raise us. Many around here are part of large families with important names and too often I meet one guy, run into another from another part of the metro, and they're related. This isn't inherently bad, but can create a lot of drama. Certain areas (like Turner) have many family members in the same small area.
Kansas City can be messed up, for sure.
Then there are a lot of people, especially before they hit 30, that have issues with where they're from. I know I was that way, and still couldn't be forced back to my home territory. Most people I went to high school with stayed and live perfectly fine lives. Some of us are just too stubborn to stick around, and that's okay too. Being restless and adventurous while you're young is quite normal. Sometimes you have to hate on your hometown to find excuses to leave if you feel that's the way to go.
Some of us are way too familiar with our hometown, and not familiar enough with other places to realize those other places have just as many problems, just different ones. There likely is a place you'll like better than KC. Finding it is the hard part... then you have to hold yourself back as not to nitpick the new place to death.
I guess what I should have asked was...... how does one interact and be successful with people like this? I'm sure there are strategies, but they must be different than say being successful in Austin.
I have some ideas:
1. Live on the Plaza, Downtown, or some place "neutral" to the KS/MO debate. The Plaza/Midtown/Westport areas seem to be the most respected by both sides of the line. I get judged down a lot for living in Olathe, though living in Blue Springs would still get some awkward sighs by some on the KS side.
2. Listen to more country, top 40, and rap.
3. Be a complete and total narcissist. The only people I know who have much success are this way. However they take it too far and are backstabby along with it which causes a lot to hate them as well.
4. When in Rome... maybe I just need to have simpler more redneck tastes, though play them down when in Blue Valley.
5. Have a facebook account with 3000+ friends. Goes along with being a narcissist.
6. Get a "cool" job, as opposed to the "nerdy" one I currently have.
7. Find out who my family is. My mother hid me from most of her family here because they are "missouri white trash". Most of my dad's side is well, dead. I understand this as she grew up in WyCo and worked harder than hell to get where she is today. She really did not want to be poor and picked a good area to raise us. Many around here are part of large families with important names and too often I meet one guy, run into another from another part of the metro, and they're related. This isn't inherently bad, but can create a lot of drama. Certain areas (like Turner) have many family members in the same small area.
I think it is more about bad attitudes and insecurity. People seem to be like: "I hate my job and hate it here, and if you are trying to do something interesting or new or different, I will hate it to just because." None if it makes any sense except: insecurity.
I do not see how living by the Plaza or getting a "cool" job will change people's attitudes.
However on a drive through the missouri suburbia/countryside, it seems the pace of life in MO-side suburbia is much slower and more redneck than anything. Not 100% of course as I know some sophisticated people stuck there that want to get the hell out.
Quote:
When in Rome... maybe I just need to have simpler more redneck tastes, though play them down when in Blue Valley.
Jason, where do you get this notion that KCMO suburbia proper is "redneck"? And where do you get the impression that most sophisticated people here want to "get the hell out"? -- (it might have more to do with work and less to do with people)
Yes, the metro area has it's share of people that can be described as redneck/country, but guess what? EVERY city in Middle America has them too; even in places that don't necessarily adhere to "country" or "old southern" lifestyles. It's nothing to worry about, because it's NOT blatant or overwhelming.
I've lived in KCMO suburbia my entire life and very rarely do I ever stumble upon blatant "redneck" or "white trash" folk. Most of my family and friends don't listen to country music and I have yet to meet anyone from around here who naturally uses old southern phrases like "y'all", "you'ins", "vittles", "good eatin'" etc. I and the rest of my family (and most of my friends) don't speak with a twang or drawl of any kind...BTW, I came from a white collar background, not blue. However I did go to a public school with mostly blue collar students; most of which didn't strike me as country/redneck at all.
The average KCMO suburbanite may be what you call "blue collar", but many of them are actually sort of quasi-materialistic and vain. Real rednecks may exist here in the KCMO suburbs, but they still make up a small percentage.
Speaking of redneck, I also want to point out that I've only seen one or two "rebel flags" on pickup trucks around here (throughout my entire life), but those people are mostly country/redneck wannabe posers and fakes (think Lynyrd Skynyrd fans). This kind of behavior is extremely rare around the KC metro, trust me.
I realize that you are struggling trying to blend in here socially and I feel for you...and you are right about the more white collar/yuppie infrastructure being in JoCo and KCMO being more blue collar, laid back, etc. But if you're going to make off-hand generalizations about the Missouri suburbs, at least be accurate. Worrying about the alleged "redneck" factor in a place like KCMO is silly.
Last edited by MidWestCityNative; 05-20-2012 at 06:20 PM..
I don't get this thread. It reminds me of the one about KC being unfriendly to outsiders. I think much of these subjective experiences are based personal factors - what part of the city you live and work, who you hang out with and your personal attitudes.
All the complaints are not something I've noticed at all. I'm 30 and more of my peers are unmarried than married. There are quite a few who have recently gotten engaged - but getting married in your early 30s is hardly right out of college.
I think this thread may relate to JoCo (and possibly other suburbs) but not to the city.
Then the original poster says "joco having some yuppie Dallas-style sunbelt influence, which leads to some better quality more stable people, " What does that mean, anyway? I think I see your problem right there.
I was the original author of the "KC being unfriendly to outsiders" thread. The responses you and others made to that thread I thought were very well-written and rational. As is what you just said here, which I'm starting to agree with. People seem to develop their own notions about a new place based on where they lived prior, and directly apply that to said place. They have no real knowledge or familiarity about the people, culture, etc., so they create it themselves based on "personal" experiences from their past. Hence, Jason can only use the people of Dallas (a place he lived prior) as a familiar example of what JoCo people are like.
It's all making sense, but keep in mind that it may not always be the case. Often times, people don't know what to say after they've experienced the "culture shock" of moving to a new place.
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And where do you get the impression that most sophisticated people here want to "get the hell out"? -- (it might have more to do with work and less to do with people)
