Kansas City dating is ummm, not so good... (how much, high school)

[qdown]

I read on a couple of websites that Kansas City is voted #1 worst place for dating. Ive really been trying to give this finding the benifit of the doubt but I cant help but to notice. People here seem to be very closed minded and socilally conditioned here to the point its ludacris lol. If its not that, they are married, engaged, or cant wait for him to pop the big ring box lol. For the few women I have met, they are from out of state and have not been here long. A female told me most folks here traditionally meet threw mutual friends, schools, jobs etc but tend to be more closed off to someone just approaching them due to various factors (which are lame factors by the way). Anyway Im still trying to remain optimistic but I just wanted to see what other people thought about this feel free to post.

[GraniteStater]

Best And Worst States For Singles | Happen Magazine

[jason87x]

Yea... kind of on topic, and kind of not, has anyone else noticed that good looking people (I'm bi, so I'm saying this about both dudes and chicks) are VERY boring? The dudes especially too seem to be downright hostile to talking to any new people. Whereas the not so good looking are often very interesting? I go to quite a few interesting activities every week, and no one there is ever attractive. I mean, I love these people and these activities, but I'd like to find an attractive mate as well. Talking to the good looking people can be well.... difficult as they aren't often that interesting.

I'm not trying to bash KC on that point, I think that applies everywhere based on the mechanics of it. Good looking people have everything handed to them socially speaking and have never had to develop a personality or interesting interests. Maybe a few places like NYC are a little better in this regard, as it's hard to not be interesting in some places like that. But of course if you're just in a typical American small town or suburb, things get very provincial and mainstream.

More on topic, how much of this is KC and how much is some other factor? I doubt any one place is absolute 100% paradise for singles, but what makes KC stand worse than other bad cities for singles? I've heard plenty of bad things about the social and singles culture in Seattle, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, SF, and even DC (!).

I looked up some raw numbers on # women vs men. Both KCMO and most JOCO suburbs have slightly higher amount of women, believe it or not. KU though I hear has slightly more men (like 50.5% men, nothing too dramatic). I have heard that the entire west coast is a sausagefest, and that Chicago and some east coast cities like NYC have way more women. I've heard Texas is kind of a sausagefest too, though I found the women they do have are very attractive compared to the whales here in KC (actually, I don't mind somewhat plump girls except for when they too have attitude).

Not sure how any of this plays out on the field though. Of the places I've been to in Westport, such as Kelly's and the Riot Room, had hundreds of dudes, and like five chicks, three of which I went to high school with. I guess women do go out though, just not as much? Women are probably using their free time on church stuffs, volunteering, and reading and watching TV at home.

I promise, this is not what I do all the time. I make tons of effort to go out and have fun, especially lately now that the college scene is back in action.

[LittleJon]

Interesting.
I was really into the bar scene in KC in my 20s (mostly Westport) and had no problems with the dating scene.
I guess it depends on factors such as interests & age group. You might want to try church groups, Meetup,
volunteer groups etc.

[MrIndependent]

I too have noticed the dating scene here is not good. I don't have any statistics, but I bet that Kansas City has a higher than average percentage of young adults who are married, or have been in long term relationships with their highschool sweethearts. There is this immense social expectation for you to be in a serious relationship as early as possible. I feel this is indicative of a more "provincial" mindset, prevalent in the small towns and rural counties surrounding this metro.

As a transplant and single young professional, I find that extremely off putting.

Doesn't matter if you are in church, or at a social event/activity, the answer is almost always "im getting married" or my boyfriend of 5 years, or something like that.

[aragx6]

The best way to stay single is to have a confirmation bias that you won't find anyone.

Keep open minded and get involved in things you enjoy, and I think you'll be fine.

[GraniteStater]

Originally Posted by MrIndependent

I too have noticed the dating scene here is not good. I don't have any statistics, but I bet that Kansas City has a higher than average percentage of young adults who are married, or have been in long term relationships with their highschool sweethearts. There is this immense social expectation for you to be in a serious relationship as early as possible. I feel this is indicative of a more "provincial" mindset, prevalent in the small towns and rural counties surrounding this metro.

As a transplant and single young professional, I find that extremely off putting.

Doesn't matter if you are in church, or at a social event/activity, the answer is almost always "im getting married" or my boyfriend of 5 years, or something like that.

The link I posted generally confirmed that the most socially conservative states in the US have a high perecentage of MEN that are married. I find this fact rather interesting...

[kcmo]

KC seems to have a thriving night-life scene that compares to any mid sized city. Are you telling me that everybody that goes to the P&L district, westport, plaza, martini corner etc are married? I do think people marry younger in KC compared to some of the bigger coastal cities, but I doubt it's all that different than most large non-coastal cities. I could be wrong though.

[LittleJon]

Originally Posted by kcmo

KC seems to have a thriving night-life scene that compares to any mid sized city. Are you telling me that everybody that goes to the P&L district, westport, plaza, martini corner etc are married? I do think people marry younger in KC compared to some of the bigger coastal cities, but I doubt it's all that different than most large non-coastal cities. I could be wrong though.

It's a young 20-30 something singles paradise here, but in KC the girls I knew in HS
almost all were married & having children right out of school & in some cases a second marriage
at around 30. I was way behind my peers because I didn't get married & have kids until I was 29.

I always perceived attitudes in KC about being single/married fluxuate from one part of town to the next.
But then again I've not been back in 16 years!

[SPonteKC]

I have been out of the singles scene in KC for quite some time (and when I was in it, there was quite a bit less to do for 20 and 30 somethings here) but I remember it as being active, more "laid-back bar" than clubby, and fun.

I honestly believe that the singles scene is quite a different (better) experience for people who live in the city versus the suburbs. Move to Westport/Plaza/Downtown. Get out a lot and don't be a wallflower when you do. People here are very open and approachable.