Is it true that Kansas City citizens are polite but VERY UNFRIENDLY to Newcomers? (Overland: theatre, high school)

[LittleJon]

Originally Posted by RadioSilence

Keep at it. You may have stumbled upon some people who have been in the same clique since high school. It's hard to break into that circle. You'll find plenty of that in central U.S. cities.

^^^This
After seeing my old friends back home on Facebook I noticed everyone of them are STILL in the
same cliques 25+ years later, and married to others from their circle.

Growing up in KC I was always an outsider of sorts because I didn't stay in just one circle,
it was weird to me.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by Okey Dokie

Kansas Citians are known for being somewhat insecure about their city. We generally don't like it when newcomers talk incessantly about how great their old city was, or what Kansas City lacks.

MOST people find a litany of complaints about where they have chosen to live to be tiresome and/or offensive. ANY newcomer who is incessantly negative and constantly b*tches about what their new city lacks is going to have a hard time connecting with others who appreciate their home. That's just a question of social skills, right there.

[Ztonyg]

Originally Posted by Georgiapeach32

I would have to say yes to your comment. I moved here and have been here for some time now and I must say ALL of my friends are from out of state or out of the country. I have yet to form a close bond with anyone that is from here. Like my friend from China said, if you didn't grow up with them, you are OUT!

Most of the people here have know each other since elementary school or hig school.

This is a big fear I have of moving to Kansas City. My girlfriend (soon to be fiance, hopefully) is from Kansas City and wants very badly to move back (we are in Phoenix now) but she has a circle of high school / elementary school friends. My fear is that because I'm not from around the area, it will be difficult for me to fit in. I don't have this problem in Phoenix as most people that live here are from somewhere else and the native Arizonans are so used to meeting new people that they are also fairly welcoming.

[MidWestCityNative]

Originally Posted by Ztonyg

This is a big fear I have of moving to Kansas City. My girlfriend (soon to be fiance, hopefully) is from Kansas City and wants very badly to move back (we are in Phoenix now) but she has a circle of high school / elementary school friends. My fear is that because I'm not from around the area, it will be difficult for me to fit in. I don't have this problem in Phoenix as most people that live here are from somewhere else and the native Arizonans are so used to meeting new people that they are also fairly welcoming.

Oh please, don't be so afraid of us. Don't just assume that because you're not native to the KC area, people are going to shun you. We're not xenophobic. We don't marginalize outsiders as second-class citizens. Yes we have clique, but we're much more open-minded and easy to socialize with than you think.

The more negative vibes you create for yourself, the more problems you will face. You just need to find the right kind of group to mingle with. There are many parts of the metro that have cultural diversity, like Westport, The Plaza, Brookside, The River Market District, Hyde Park, North Kansas City, etc.

BTW, I have family that live in the Pheonix/Scottsdale area. Whenever my cousin comes in to visit, he's capable of having coherent conversations with people in public. It's not a problem.

Read my previous post on this thread for more advice.

[TabulaRasa]

Seriously, I have never been shunned for not having grown up here.

[GraniteStater]

Originally Posted by LittleJon

^^^This
After seeing my old friends back home on Facebook I noticed everyone of them are STILL in the
same cliques 25+ years later, and married to others from their circle.

Growing up in KC I was always an outsider of sorts because I didn't stay in just one circle,
it was weird to me.

It's what I like to term the "circle culture." It gets much worse in some rural areas. The difference is that KC is more influenced by the surrounding rural areas compared to other larger metro areas.

[MidWestCityNative]

Originally Posted by GraniteStater

It's what I like to term the "circle culture." It gets much worse in some rural areas. The difference is that KC is more influenced by the surrounding rural areas compared to other larger metro areas.

I disagree with you. KC has a cultural identity of its own (with The Plaza, River Market, The Performing Arts Center, Nelson-Atkins, The Liberty Memorial, etc.) Those things are far from being influenced by "rural" culture. While it may not have the same size or scope as Chicago or Denver, this city's cultural identity is more urban/suburban and hardly rural at all (unless you count the American Royal).

The social atmosphere is more suburban (leaning toward urban) than anything else. If it were rural, this place would be more like Wichita or Tulsa, Des Moines, etc.

[GraniteStater]

Originally Posted by MidWestCityNative

I disagree with you. KC has a cultural identity of its own (with The Plaza, River Market, The Performing Arts Center, Nelson-Atkins, The Liberty Memorial, etc.) Those things are far from being influenced by "rural" culture. While it may not have the same size or scope as Chicago or Denver, this city's cultural identity is more urban/suburban and hardly rural at all (unless you count the American Royal).

The social atmosphere is more suburban (leaning toward urban) than anything else. If it were rural, this place would be more like Tulsa or Des Moines.

KC social culture is strongly tied to suburbs (and neighborhoods that have suburban levels of density) as that is where the vast majority live. The suburbs have drawn in many people from the smaller cities and towns for a good part of the last century including a portion of my extended family. Also, it often depends on what neighborhood one lives in.
I would say a BIG component of the more closed off makeup of social networks is a result of the earlier FIRST age of marriage in KC compared to other places. One would expect this in places like Des Moines or Tulsa but KC also leans in the same direction. This makes it somewhat harder for transplants to build a niche in the metro as well as for single professionals.

"(with The Plaza, River Market, The Performing Arts Center, Nelson-Atkins, The Liberty Memorial, etc.)"

And the demographics of that area are reflective of a more urban, educated, professional, and hipster element. Single people would prefer to live closer to these amenities and not the suburbs.

"While it may not have the same size or scope as Chicago or Denver, this city's cultural identity is more urban/suburban and hardly rural at all (unless you count the American Royal).

The social atmosphere is more suburban (leaning toward urban) than anything else. If it were rural, this place would be more like Tulsa or Des Moines"

American Royal has been a big deal for a long time now. BBQ Culture to the degree it exists in KC doesn't really exist further to the north, and how would you classify Olathe? Suburban areas do not lean urban if population densities are low and social conservatism predominates everywhere..

[MidWestCityNative]

Originally Posted by GraniteStater

KC social culture is strongly tied to suburbs (and neighborhoods that have suburban levels of density) as that is where the vast majority live.

Yes, I'm aware that the majority of the metro's population lives in the suburbs. I do too, but I still visit downtown for all the culture and amenities.

The suburbs have drawn in many people from the smaller cities and towns for a good part of the last century including a portion of my extended family. Also, it often depends on what neighborhood one lives in.

I'm also aware that many JoCo residents are ex-KCMO residents. Not all of them are, but the ones I met in high school have told me that their parents grew up downtown. My extended family (on both sides) have lived in other parts of the country before moving here. However, my grandfather grew up around the Plaza area. Anyway, I'm just throwing out some random examples that contradict your info.

I would say a BIG component of the more closed off makeup of social networks is a result of the earlier FIRST age of marriage in KC compared to other places. One would expect this in places like Des Moines or Tulsa but KC also leans in the same direction. This makes it somewhat harder for transplants to build a niche in the metro as well as for single professionals.

I'm aware of this, but I also think the "age of marriage" thing is a tad exaggerated. While KC does have a cliquish culture for sure, I wouldn't go as far as to say it's "impossible" for singles to have a good quality of life here. I've spoken to people about this issue and the responses are kind of mixed. The responses have ranged from being "great" to "liveable despite shortcomings" to "flat out bad news for single people".

And the demographics of that area are reflective of a more urban, educated, professional, and hipster element. Single people would prefer to live closer to these amenities and not the suburbs.

I guess I can't argue with that, but many of my friends are from the suburbs and are constantly visiting downtown, the plaza, etc. to enjoy what it has to offer. You can live in the suburbs and still have cosmopolitan tastes.

American Royal has been a big deal for a long time now. BBQ Culture to the degree it exists in KC doesn't really exist further to the north

What's funny is that I hear more people from northern states praise KC BBQ than people from southern states (they probably think their vinegary BBQ is superior).

and how would you classify Olathe? Suburban areas do not lean urban if population densities are low and social conservatism predominates everywhere..

Since when does Olathe represent what suburban KC's culture is all about? In case you didn't notice, the KC suburbs aren't culturally linked to one another.

I'm not sure what more in the way of examples you want, but I stand by my belief of what KC is really like. I realize you're not a fan of this metro area (that's fine, you've made it clear many times on this website; you grew up here and you weren't happy, I get it). KC may not be heaven on earth, it may not be all things to all people, and it certainly has its share of problems (like every other American city). But for a metro area of its size, there's a lot to be impressed by. I just wish it could be more competitive AS a city of its size.

P.S.: We may not agree on KC, but you seem pretty reasonable. I'm glad you refrain from viciously attacking KC or spewing hate-filled black and white distortions.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by MidWestCityNative

I'm also aware that many JoCo residents are ex-KCMO residents. Not all of them are, but the ones I met in high school have told me that their parents grew up downtown. My extended family (on both sides) have lived in other parts of the country before moving here. However, my grandfather grew up around the Plaza area. Anyway, I'm just throwing out some random examples that contradict your info.

My fiance grew up in Mission, both his parents still live in Mission. His mom grew up in KCK, Strawberry Hill area, in the enclave around the Irish Catholic church. His dad grew up in KCMO, Volker neighborhood. They moved from urban to suburban JoCo when they got married. I also moved from KCMO to JoCo, b/c my fiance already owns a house in Mission. But all of us went from urban to suburban.

More contradicting examples, both in the past and in current times.