HELP!!! Working in Downtown KCMO but would rather live in KS? (Kansas City: insurance, unemployment)

[Lady300]

Okay so here is where I stand...I think Johnson County will be my choice. As for the winter, I think I will just go ahead and get snow tires and studds until my nerves are calmed about driving in the snow. My commute to KCMO will be about 30 minutes or more and that seems like a long time driving on snow and ice. I have found a church and we have been corresponding by email. I've managed to find an activity group so I think that will help my transition. I've found a vet for my dogs and I've found a mechanic, I've found a tire shop and I've found a hair salon. I think a good thing to do is also find a psychologists just to have handy. I'm still scared to death, followed by thoughts of saddness about leaving family behind. I still get cold feet and ask myself what am I doing but then I am also quite excited. I think what would help is just to really get this thing over with. The anticipation and the unknown are just hideous to say the least. I've been really praying hard about this and I do get comfort from God but then I have faith issues and I relapse back into fear. But then like Samantha and a few others said...it's normal, it's a BIG decision so who wouldn't be freaked out. Right?

[Lady300]

Ooops..one other question. I see alot of Kansans and Missourians say that ice storms are more of a worry than tornadoes...why is this? Give me all the gruesome details so I'll know okay...

[thriftylefty]

Originally Posted by Lady300

Ooops..one other question. I see alot of Kansans and Missourians say that ice storms are more of a worry than tornadoes...why is this? Give me all the gruesome details so I'll know okay...

I think Lightning kills more people than tornadoes. Ice storms can virtually bring a city to a dead stop, Power lines down ,trees down, frozen pipes, no water, no lights, no heat. All those little inconveniences will be shared with others, I would consider any adjustments you will have to make will be minor. You will have so much fun experiencing a new city, new people a new part of the country. You will undoubtedly meet a few people who haven't been in KC much longer than yourself .

[Samantha S]

Originally Posted by Lady300

My commute to KCMO will be about 30 minutes or more and that seems like a long time driving on snow and ice.

I have lived here for about 20 years and I have never owned (or wish I owned) snow tires. What you're not understanding yet is how little driving on snow and ice you will actually do. But I'll just let you be pleasantly surprised


Something you might want to do a little light reading about since you mention psychology is the phenomenon of "culture shock" and the stages of adjustment. I learned a lot about this when we hosted a foreign exchange student a few years ago. It's kind of interesting and although you are not going from one country to another, it will be very different in many ways and you will likely experience culture shock if only on a minor level. Recognizing and understanding the stages (and that they are stages) might help you during the first several months of adjustment.

I don't remember them all, but the first, not surprisingly, is the "honeymoon stage". Where everything is new and "cool". Then later you start to get acclimated, but also start to instinctively seek out the familiar, you go through a period of intense homesickness and dislike about everything that is different. Sometimes this can be a shock and make you think you have made a huge mistake. But it is a phase that usually passes and a more balanced and accepting perspective returns.

Just something to think about and be prepared for.

[Okey Dokie]

Originally Posted by Lady300

Okay so here is where I stand...I think Johnson County will be my choice. As for the winter, I think I will just go ahead and get snow tires and studds until my nerves are calmed about driving in the snow.

I'd double check on the studded snow tire issue - they may be illegal. Perhaps someone else here knows for sure. I agree snow tires are not needed - last time I bought them was for my 1980 Buick Regal. Unless you have some big honkin' rear wheel drive like a Crown Vic I don't think they are necessary/worth the expense/worth the hassle of changing them off and on twice a year.

Don't agonize over the snow. As Samantha said, you will do very little actual driving on snow - once the storm is over the plows will have been out and the sun comes out and in a day or so the streets will be dry - although the snow is still on the grass. And, don't judge "snow driving" with what you'll experience the first snow of the season. NOBODY remembers how to drive it in then. As the season progresses, people get their "snow legs" back and things go smoother. If you want to practice driving on snow, go to an abandoned parking lot (like an office building in the evening) and see what happens when you slam on your brakes on snow. Go into a skid and practice getting out of it.

And if this job is your "dream job" - GO FOR IT. I moved to Oklahoma City 3.5 years ago due to a job transfer and didn't know a soul here. I got involved in a wonderful church here and made some good friends there. I concentrated on what I LIKED down here and tried not to obsess about what was lacking/different/what I didn't like. As others have said, if it turns out you don't like it.....you can always go back. Nothing in life is permanent except death. If you don't try, you'll be "what-if"-ing yourself for the rest of your life.

(I realize I'm repeating a lot of advice others have given, but for some reason I didn't realize this was a 10+ page thread until I had written almost my entire reply and I don't want to not post since I've put so much work into it. )

Good luck and God bless.

[Okey Dokie]

Originally Posted by Okey Dokie

Long ago, like in the 40s and 50s, South Park School in northern Merriam was the segregated school where the blacks went.

For some reason I can't edit my original post......and I've got my facts wrong. South Park was a segregated all-white school. Here's the history:

Attractions in Merriam, Kansas

[luzianne]

Originally Posted by Lady300

Ooops..one other question. I see alot of Kansans and Missourians say that ice storms are more of a worry than tornadoes...why is this? Give me all the gruesome details so I'll know okay...

I've lived in Kansas/Missouri all my life (53 years) and have yet to see a tornado. Have seen plenty of tornado warnings, but I have yet to come face to face with a tornado. And I don't know anyone who has, either. Don't worry about it. It there ever WERE a tornado, chances are you'd have time to get to shelter. We have a finished basement that we can go to if need be, but we've lived here since 1986 and not once has there been a close enough call that we needed to go to the basement.

[luzianne]

Originally Posted by Lady300

Okay so here is where I stand...I think Johnson County will be my choice. As for the winter, I think I will just go ahead and get snow tires and studds until my nerves are calmed about driving in the snow. My commute to KCMO will be about 30 minutes or more and that seems like a long time driving on snow and ice. I have found a church and we have been corresponding by email. I've managed to find an activity group so I think that will help my transition. I've found a vet for my dogs and I've found a mechanic, I've found a tire shop and I've found a hair salon. I think a good thing to do is also find a psychologists just to have handy. I'm still scared to death, followed by thoughts of saddness about leaving family behind. I still get cold feet and ask myself what am I doing but then I am also quite excited. I think what would help is just to really get this thing over with. The anticipation and the unknown are just hideous to say the least. I've been really praying hard about this and I do get comfort from God but then I have faith issues and I relapse back into fear. But then like Samantha and a few others said...it's normal, it's a BIG decision so who wouldn't be freaked out. Right?

You can't have studded tires - they damage the roads. And honestly, you don't need snow tires. As long as you have all season radials with plenty of tread, and a car that is front wheel drive, you'll be okay (rear wheel drive can be tricky on icy roads).

[Lady300]

Gosh guys and gals...THANKS. Even if you feel you are repeating yourselves it's fine with me. I ALWAYS feel much better after coming to this thread. It's so therapeutic. I like reading all the responses. I'm sure people laugh at me and I'm sure I'll laugh at myself when I get there and settle in....but it's good to laugh even at yourself. Laughter is good for the soul. Funny about the tornado thing....we had a tornado warning here in GA two days ago and I wasn't even phased by it. We actually get them quite alot here. We also get bad weather due to the hurricanes coming off the coast of GA and FL and again I'm rarely phased by them. Not sure why I'm so freaked out about the weather in Kansas. Samantha thanks for the mentioning the stages of adjustment. That's why I intend to find a psychologist. I went through this exact same thing when I changed my job a few years ago. I had been at my previous job for six years. It was my first job right out of doing my undergrad and I loved it but the pay sucked. I got another job and like you said I went through a flurry of adjustments. First it was all great. Then I started to compare it to my last job and realized what I was missing and then kinda got depressed and thought I had made the worst decision of my life. It doesn't help to have family that agrees with you on those things. They were not at all supportive. I had a few call and ask me why did I do such a stupid thing. After that phase I accepted the fact that no two things are EVER alike and ended up loving the job and the people I work with. I come from a family of traditionalists. They believe you should stick with what you know and stay on one job until retirement. That may have worked back in the day but things are so different now. People are different, jobs are different and so forth. I probably would not be on this thread if I had ample family support but I don't, but oh well! You'd be shocked to know that I have family members that thought segregation was good for blacks and WE ARE black. Again, it's that traditionalist mindset.

[Lady300]

I felt I should elaborate as to why they feel segregation was good for blacks....they feel that blacks thrived much better back in those days. The violence was low, black leadership was trustworthy, families were air-tight and blacks really strived to better themselves. I thought it would be good to explain this before someone lashed out at me. I was talking to an older black male co-worker a few weeks back who believes the exact same thing. He said the problem with segregation was that it was seperate but not equal. He said had it been seperate but truly equal things would have been fine.