Johnson County gay friendly? (Wichita, Kansas City: 2009, homes, landscaping)

[smellykat]

Originally Posted by KevK

I don't think a gay will find them openly hostile but it is not "gay friendly" by far. There are lots of small minded Republican religious nutcases in JoCo that do not care much for homosexuality. KC KS, KC MO and Independence are probably more gay friendly

Why would Kansas City, Kansas and Independence, Missouri be considered, in your words, "more gay friendly?" It is not my intent to argue with you, but I am truly curious as to why you posted your comment regarding Kansas City, Kansas and Independence, Missouri.

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by KevK

I don't think a gay will find them openly hostile but it is not "gay friendly" by far. There are lots of small minded Republican religious nutcases in JoCo that do not care much for homosexuality. KC KS, KC MO and Independence are probably more gay friendly

Sadly, you might have fewer small minded religious types in some of those areas....but somehow I doubt it. On top of that you pick up the lower income and blue collar types that vote Democrat due to union or whatever other reason and aren't exactly "gay friendly".

I can think of MANY democratic bastions in Chicago that were pretty much white and straight and life would have sucked for you if you had moved into those neighborhoods and been gay\minority.

[denverian]

Originally Posted by alwaystraveling25

I think your age/relationship status is definitely a factor in this instance. If you are already in a committed relationship and older and not looking to go out, it's not the worst choice you can make. If you are single, good luck. There is only one gay bar in JOCO, the rest all are in KCMO. A huge majority of the gays in the metro live in the KCMO proper area, so if you are single, chances are you would be dating someone who lives at least 30 minutes away.

I lived in Johnson County for almost two years with my boyfriend at the time, in a 1 Bedroom apartment in Lenexa. (I am 25, by the way). I know that a few people have commented on this thread about their open acceptance of gays, and that's great, for the gay couples around them.

My boyfriend and I spent almost every weekend in KCMO, except to sleep at home. We felt a lot more comfortable there in the restaurants, bars, shopping environment. We did not feel as comfortable in Johnson County doing anything. The reason?

1. Johnson County is EXTREMELY religious. I worked and lived in JOCO, and I heard religion and god mentioned many, many times in work and other public places (gym, grocery store). As a matter of fact, at both the gym I belonged to and at several grocery stores I was asked about my faith during small talk, and then when I told them I was non-denominational I was treated with a look/attitude as If I just told them I was a criminal. At work, Church was openly discussed.

2. JOCO is also VERY family-oriented (great if you have families, not so great if you don't). Kids are everywhere you go (except bars, obviously). People I met through work or otherwise thought it was odd that I was 25 and not married with Children yet. I have a feeling that the same attitude would be bestowed upon you.

If you do end up moving there, I would be very cautious about who you reveal yourself to, in the beginning. You may end up with some nice neighbors like the people on here, or you may end up with someone like my former boss, who under suspicion of my being gay treated me so poorly and unfairly that I left the company as soon it was possible.

If you need any further information, feel free to DM me. I would also DM "Denverian", I believe is his name, He lives in Denver now but is gay and used to live in KC and has commented on the status of gay life in both sides of the Metro area.

Good luck in your decision!

I think you summed it up well. I'm gay and grew up in JoCo, and promptly left at age 18. We had a lesbian couple across the street from us for years, and they didn't seem to have any problems. But then no one was friends with them either. I'd say you'll be tolerated in JoCo. But where we live in Denver, we're not just tolerated - we're accepted, and that's a big difference. We also have children, and I'd fear how they'd be treated in JoCo due to the extreme religion there, meaning many far-right evangelical types.

I have friends (a gay couple) who live in Prarie Village (far NE JOCO) and they like it. I think that part of JoCo (Prarie Village, Roeland Park, Westwood) tends to be much more liberal, plus it's near the Plaza and all the excitement of KCMO, so you don't feel so far out in the 'burbs. Maybe that's the gayest part of JoCo

[smellykat]

Originally Posted by denverian

I think you summed it up well. I'm gay and grew up in JoCo, and promptly left at age 18. We had a lesbian couple across the street from us for years, and they didn't seem to have any problems. But then no one was friends with them either. I'd say you'll be tolerated in JoCo. But where we live in Denver, we're not just tolerated - we're accepted, and that's a big difference. We also have children, and I'd fear how they'd be treated in JoCo due to the extreme religion there, meaning many far-right evangelical types.

I have friends (a gay couple) who live in Prarie Village (far NE JOCO) and they like it. I think that part of JoCo (Prarie Village, Roeland Park, Westwood) tends to be much more liberal, plus it's near the Plaza and all the excitement of KCMO, so you don't feel so far out in the 'burbs. Maybe that's the gayest part of JoCo

In all fairness to posters, you do need to give some time line as to your formative years growing up in Johnson County. Acceptance of gays is much more prelevant today than 25-30 years ago. I am baffled to the "extremely religious" comments from posters. Thankfully, I have not encountered that in Johnson County, and I have lived here most of my life. Intolerance of sexual orientation is something I cannot accept, and I would be very unhappy if exposed to ignorant comments in the workplace or neighborhood. It's wonderful that you and your family are embraced in your community in Denver. That's how it should be no matter where one chooses to live.

[alwaystraveling25]

Originally Posted by smellykat

In all fairness to posters, you do need to give some time line as to your formative years growing up in Johnson County. Acceptance of gays is much more prelevant today than 25-30 years ago. I am baffled to the "extremely religious" comments from posters. Thankfully, I have not encountered that in Johnson County, and I have lived here most of my life. Intolerance of sexual orientation is something I cannot accept, and I would be very unhappy if exposed to ignorant comments in the workplace or neighborhood. It's wonderful that you and your family are embraced in your community in Denver. That's how it should be no matter where one chooses to live.

Hi Smellykat (Makes me think of Friends),

I lived in JOCO for 1.8 years from 2006 to 2008 and really felt that it was overly religious. Perhaps it was the industry I was in (the Consumer Foods Industry, relating to grocery stores), but I felt a very religious vibe.

I worked for a very conservative nationwide US company. At work, people openly talked about what church they went to, what church activities their kids went to, and asked me what church I went to. It was very uncomfortable for me, since I am non-denominational and do not attend church.

My manager, although smart enough to know not to make hateful comments, singled me out of the 4 people with equal jobs (2 of them were black women, and one was a white man) and made sure to make public about every error I made, every mistake at work, and only complimented me a handful of times about work. The other people were shining examples of work and could do no wrong, even though we had equivalent sales and levels of expertise. I know for a fact it was because she suspected I was homosexual.

With customers at work and other clients, I definitely felt that religion and family was strongly encouraged. Oftentimes at corporate events or functions, it was quite obvious that people thought it was odd that i was 25 and not married with kids. (I had the BF at the time, but couldn't say anything about that for fear of further reprisal). My co-worker who still is there is constantly hounded to marry his current girlfriend, because he is 28 and "needs to settle down already." Needless to say, that kind of environment is not conducive to gay relationships!

I definitely, definitely felt a "bible belt" feeling in KC. My boyfriend at the time, of 1.5 years, had lived there 8 years and moved home to a much bigger metro city in the south and is happier then ever. Both of us (we are still friends) really feel bad for the gay community there, because besides from Missie B's and Sidekicks, and Hanging out in Midtown/Brookside/Waldo, there is not a lot of love for the gay community.

I'm not sure if the OP ever read any of this, I just wanted you to know how I felt. I'm glad there are people like you living there, perhaps if we had met while I lived there instead of the crazy religious people I would not have been in such a hurry to move away!

[denverian]

Originally Posted by smellykat

In all fairness to posters, you do need to give some time line as to your formative years growing up in Johnson County. Acceptance of gays is much more prelevant today than 25-30 years ago. I am baffled to the "extremely religious" comments from posters. Thankfully, I have not encountered that in Johnson County, and I have lived here most of my life. Intolerance of sexual orientation is something I cannot accept, and I would be very unhappy if exposed to ignorant comments in the workplace or neighborhood. It's wonderful that you and your family are embraced in your community in Denver. That's how it should be no matter where one chooses to live.

The reference to extremely religious refers to so many evangelicals - my own nutty family included Olathe is pretty religious - even HQ to the Nazarenes, if I recall correctly. NE JoCo, probably more mainstream and SW.

[denverian]

Originally Posted by alwaystraveling25

Hi Smellykat (Makes me think of Friends),

I lived in JOCO for 1.8 years from 2006 to 2008 and really felt that it was overly religious. Perhaps it was the industry I was in (the Consumer Foods Industry, relating to grocery stores), but I felt a very religious vibe.

I worked for a very conservative nationwide US company. At work, people openly talked about what church they went to, what church activities their kids went to, and asked me what church I went to. It was very uncomfortable for me, since I am non-denominational and do not attend church.

My manager, although smart enough to know not to make hateful comments, singled me out of the 4 people with equal jobs (2 of them were black women, and one was a white man) and made sure to make public about every error I made, every mistake at work, and only complimented me a handful of times about work. The other people were shining examples of work and could do no wrong, even though we had equivalent sales and levels of expertise. I know for a fact it was because she suspected I was homosexual.

With customers at work and other clients, I definitely felt that religion and family was strongly encouraged. Oftentimes at corporate events or functions, it was quite obvious that people thought it was odd that i was 25 and not married with kids. (I had the BF at the time, but couldn't say anything about that for fear of further reprisal). My co-worker who still is there is constantly hounded to marry his current girlfriend, because he is 28 and "needs to settle down already." Needless to say, that kind of environment is not conducive to gay relationships!

I definitely, definitely felt a "bible belt" feeling in KC. My boyfriend at the time, of 1.5 years, had lived there 8 years and moved home to a much bigger metro city in the south and is happier then ever. Both of us (we are still friends) really feel bad for the gay community there, because besides from Missie B's and Sidekicks, and Hanging out in Midtown/Brookside/Waldo, there is not a lot of love for the gay community.

I'm not sure if the OP ever read any of this, I just wanted you to know how I felt. I'm glad there are people like you living there, perhaps if we had met while I lived there instead of the crazy religious people I would not have been in such a hurry to move away!

I noticed last year when in KC that the gay bar scene really deteriorated. I went to KU in the early '90s and there were so many more bars. For a city the size of KC, it has a rather pathetic gay scene. Here in Denver there are so many bars and organizations. Being parents, we don't partake in that though

[smellykat]

Hi alwaystraveling25,

Thanks for taking the time to clarify your experience living in JOCO for me. You did run into a bunch of "crazies!" Sounds like something out of a Flannery O'Connor short story! Please don't judge all of JOCO as religious nuts. I'm not a big fan of organized religion myself, and I try to avoid the "christian" hypocrite types. You did bring up a good point in your original posting. JOCO is far better suited for couples vs. young singles no matter what your sexual orientation. I hope you are healthy and happy in Chicago. It's a great town!

[Modron]

The Kansas Equality Coalition has a Johnson County chapter that, I think, is fairly active. The KEC has a website, but you may need to be a member to look at very much of the information there. I dunno, hopefully that is a weird policy they have done away with. I don't live in the KC area, but I've considered moving there and my own inquiry into the LGBT community pretty much agrees with other posts here that KCMO is more gay-friendly. But, it's not that much of a drive to live on the Kansas side and go to the Missouri side for entertainment.

[Modron]

Originally Posted by denverian

I noticed last year when in KC that the gay bar scene really deteriorated. I went to KU in the early '90s and there were so many more bars. For a city the size of KC, it has a rather pathetic gay scene. Here in Denver there are so many bars and organizations. Being parents, we don't partake in that though

I suspect gays in a lot of communities are settling down and giving up the bar scene which may explain the "deterioration" in KC. Kansas has a fairly large gay population and a lot of people are in committed relationships, despite those on the "right" (funny how that word has taken on all new meaning) who claim otherwise.