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Old 12-18-2009, 06:56 PM
10 posts, read 58,174 times
Reputation: 17


Has any legal action been taken by either of you? Has the wife filed a Protection From Abuse Order against you? If not, then yes, you do have as much right to the children as your wife does. Are you and your wife talking at all? Do you know where she and the children are in Florida? Or is she not communicating at all and keeping her location a secret?

If your wife has filed for divorce and been awarded temporary custody of the children, she must bring them back to Kansas. If she has not filed, you can file first and ask for primary custody of the children. This would involve getting her served in another state (you'd probably have to hire a process server to serve her in Florida). If the temporary order gives you custody of the children, you then can take the court order to Florida and retrieve your children, or the judge may order her to return (which may drive her into hiding). Timing is important here. There's a saying..."Who ever files first, get the kids and house."
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Old 12-18-2009, 08:51 PM
Location: Native Floridian, USA
4,896 posts, read 5,867,686 times
Reputation: 6050
Originally Posted by Sco View Post
Bob, you seem to have some serious anger issues toward women. I am guessing that your relationships haven't worked out so well for you in the past. A more rational person is going to understand that it is very likely that the OP has left out a lot of the story. It is clear that she wanted to get herself and the kids far away from this guy quickly, there has to be a reason why.

Also, a person that was serious about getting their kids back, male or female is going to come up with a much better plan than complaining on the internet, and talking to the campus free legal service and a pastor.
I find this post incredibly arrogant for several different reasons. Wow.
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Old 12-18-2009, 09:12 PM
Location: Bel Aire, KS
498 posts, read 1,218,367 times
Reputation: 235

It seems that it's YOU who has a problem with thinking men can't be good parents. Granted millions of men sometimes aren't good fathers but then again there are millions who are. Me included. I have two kids. I have argued with my wife before but we always resolved our problems before long because I learned it was benefical to do so. OP may have not learned that.
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Old 12-18-2009, 09:37 PM
3,647 posts, read 9,311,633 times
Reputation: 5427
Only a fool gets married and has children in a system which is stacked against him. Leave the U.S. to get married and have children if you must.

Only a very foolish woman would marry a man who will only marry her outside the US so that her rights will be 100% non-existent if they get a divorce.

Of course, at least 50% of marriages are entered into by fools who divorce a few years later. DIVORCE isn't the problem - foolish people getting married without really knowing their spouse IS.

While I agree that the system is often slanted toward women, that is not to say that it never goes the other way.

Here we have just another typical case though - the first person you hear from is not the "bad guy"... it's ALWAYS the other guy.

When do you see a post that says, "I've been beating my wife for several years and just started sexually molesting my 3 year old son. She finally found the courage to leave me and protect our son... what paperwork do I need to file to protect them from me and where should I send the check to keep them going long enough to fully recover from everything I've done to them?" That is usually, "My wife took my son and is hiding him from me. She's a horrible lazy lying witch and I've been taking primary care of the child since birth."

Or "My husband of 5 years finally realized I've been cheating on him with his best friend for the past four years and the child I'm pregnant with isn't his. How can I make up for the STD I infected him with and how quickly will the courts overturn the child support and alimony orders that were erroneously awarded me during our divorce?" You typically hear this instead, "I'm pregnant and my husband suddenly left me in the middle of the night with no money. Even his friends are on my side"
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Old 12-19-2009, 04:39 AM
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,343,312 times
Reputation: 9263
There is something not right about this. The OP has been out of work for two years. The wife out of work for one year and recently had major surgery, yet they were planning a 2-3 week vacation to Florida?!

Let me guess, the wife has family in Florida and was probably tired of being mother and father to the kids while you played college student.
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Old 12-19-2009, 08:08 AM
Location: Sarasota, Florida
807 posts, read 2,755,862 times
Reputation: 700
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
There is something not right about this. The OP has been out of work for two years. The wife out of work for one year and recently had major surgery, yet they were planning a 2-3 week vacation to Florida?!

Let me guess, the wife has family in Florida and was probably tired of being mother and father to the kids while you played college student.
And has found someone else who helped her see the greener grass...
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Old 12-19-2009, 04:05 PM
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,858,191 times
Reputation: 3142
Some of you posters should be ashamed of yourselves. Just because this is an anonymous board it does not give you the right to be so cruel to someone who comes here asking for help. This is a human being. No need to treat him this way. Many of you are bringing your own baggage to this thread. That's clear.
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Old 12-21-2009, 12:45 AM
68 posts, read 63,323 times
Reputation: 110
My advice is to get your passport before the legal system gets you in its sights and it realizes you realize how bad your predicament really is. That way if worse comes to worst you can always take the underground railroad to freedom. If you wait too long the courts can bar you from getting your passport because they've been there and done that with other shell-shocked fathers.

Next piece of advice is don't make your wife mad because if she throws the full weight of the legal system at you you'll be forced to drop out of college and get a menial job in order to pay child support. The courts will leave you with enough to subsist on and that will be you life until your youngest child reaches 18 or 20.

Meanwhile she'll deny you even basic access to your children and unless you have enough money to hire a lawyer the courts won't help you be a father to your children because they really just don't care about your role as a father.

So try to stay on good terms with her because her mercy is all you'll have going for you as the system will have no mercy on you whatsoever.

But don't take my word for it. Just go online to any of the myriad fathers' rights groups websites and see for yourself. Better yet talk to other men who have already been through what you're about to go through so you can see the truth of the matter for yourself.
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Old 01-01-2010, 01:50 PM
18 posts, read 36,359 times
Reputation: 24
I have not read all of the posts so I may be repeating what someone else has already told you, but here it goes. (I am a woman in my 30s with 3 children, BTW.) Left in Ks, get your head of the clouds. Your wife is gone. She isn't coming back. Your marriage is over. You will lose your kids FOREVER and they will be raised calling someone else their father very soon unless you take action now. Stop this ridiculous back and forth with the pastor and counseling and reconciliation. She's probably already sleeping with someone else. Do not entertain acting outside of the law. You will be brutally punished. Allow her to make all of the mistakes, and she is making them.You would be better off poking yourself in the eye with a hot poker than getting a free lawyer through legal aid. STOP IT. You will be destroyed. Go to your parents or someone who can help you and ask them to take out a loan for between $5,000- $10,000. You will need at least this amount of money to get even a marginally decent divorce attorney to speak with you. You have no job, right? Correct that immediately. Get a job anywhere.Begin court proceedings to force your ex-wife to return the children. The longer you wait, the less chance you have of ever having any kind of relationship with your children. Whatever you do, you must stop entertaining fantasies that this woman will come back. That type of thinking will cause you to be destroyed in court.
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Old 01-02-2010, 10:20 AM
Location: Celebration wannabe...
1,000 posts, read 2,837,918 times
Reputation: 404
As this was OP's post from another thread, I'm confused? Have you or have you not been employed (self or otherwise) for the last 2 years?

I have been self employed for 15 years in and I am on my 10th company...Unfortunately it is not easy, and it puts a huge strain on your relationships, as the other guy said never get a break it is non stop. Understand the differnce of being a business owner and self employed. that is a huge point. Also, there are hunders of tax advantages that you are entitled to, I would make sure you research whatever you do. My current business is a web buysiness tnat is parralleled with ebay, it is time consumming but it pays the bills. I went this semester to KU full time to graduate as not to have to be self employed anymore, had my best semester ever, but I can;t afford it. SO just make a list of pros and cons and do everything you can to make a firm decision, write business plan etc.
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