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Old 12-12-2009, 09:36 PM
 
6 posts, read 39,426 times
Reputation: 19

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My wife and I had a 2 to 3 week vacation planned from KS to FL, upon my getting out of school as well as the kids. She withdrew the kids from school without my approval 2 full weeks early and left. I did not put up a fight, and I am still not...as I truly value my marriage and believe there is still a chance for reconciliation. I do however value the Kids over my marriage right as of highest priority, and want to make sure that I get them back into the state by the 3rd of Jan so they can start school. Here are my concerns at the same time: I am worried about the time line, it will be 30 days by the time she is suppose to be back for school, I don't want to wait too long. I am worried about her establishing residency in FL, I have neither a custody order nor a separation agreement. We are still married, and chances are we may still work it out...I am just worried about the "What if's." We both have full custody as we are each entitled as parents. What can I do? What laws protect me? I did not file kidnapping charges or push the envelope at the risk of pushing her further away. Thanks

Last edited by Left_in_KS; 12-12-2009 at 10:18 PM..
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:46 PM
 
1,662 posts, read 3,909,413 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Left_in_KS View Post
My wife and I had a 2 to 3 week vacation planned from KS to FL, upon my getting out of school as well as the kids. She withdrew the kids from school without my approval 2 full weeks early and left. I did not put up a fight, and I am still not...as I truly value my marriage and believe there is still a chance for reconciliation. I do however value the Kids over my marriage right as of highest priority, and want to make sure that I get them back into the state by the 3rd of Jan so they can start school. Here are my concerns at the same time: I am worried about the time line, it will be 30 days by the time she is suppose to be back for school, I don't want to wait too long. I am worried about her establishing residency in FL, I have neither a custody order nor a separation agreement. We are still married, and chances are we may still work it out...I am just worried about the "What if's." We both have full custody as we are each entitled as parents. What can I do? What laws protect me? I did not file kidnapping charges or push the envelope at the risk of pushing her further away. Thanks
In my opinion, you need to contact an attorney immediately and find out what your options are with many of the "what ifs".

What reason did she give for pulling the kids out of school 2 weeks early? The Kansas Board of Education and your school district probably have a policy about this. Find out what it is and inform her if she doesn't already know.

Are you planning to join her and the kids in FL soon? It sounds like you need to establish a clear line of communication with this woman. If you can't get straight and credible answers about what her intentions are regarding your kids, then you need to be proactive and be ready to fight for them. It's tough for a dad to get custody, but it can be done. Get a good attorney and do your homework. Start keeping a diary of conversations and things that happen and don't happen as they should.

Good luck to you!
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Old 12-12-2009, 10:56 PM
 
4,184 posts, read 11,572,741 times
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document everything that happens and has happened....

things were probably getting heated for a while before this happened....I'm sorry about this and I'm sure it's stressful for you....I hope you can still speak to her and I hope you can each state your concerns to the other....

frankly, it's going to be tough for a while, it looks like....take it a day at a time, evaluate the situation, and do the right thing for the kids....kids hate it when their parents fight, I remember
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:50 AM
 
6 posts, read 39,426 times
Reputation: 19
Original poster making a reply
I have been out of work for 2 years, she has been out of work for 1 year...we both sat down and wrote out a plan to go back to school to graduate, we knew it would be tough and we knew we could make it. It would be Crap for a while but better in the end. She could not take it, I finished my Semester with outstanding marks. She had a hysterectomy (Which I personally believe has her hormones out of wack, and she is out of balance), In answer to the first post, the reasoning was she wanted time to be alone. The school policy is for children over age 7, that Kansas requires them to be in school. As a KU Student I get free legal advice, but this is not their area of specially, they target more issues directly towards the traditional student...drinking and driving, landlord hassles, and stuff of that nature. Not me the 36 year old guy, who loves his wife & kids and then all of a sudden they pick up and leave. I appreciate all the input and will continue to check back.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:59 AM
 
3,647 posts, read 9,309,275 times
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You can find out if she pulled them out for an extended vacation or if she disenrolled them by going into the school. While they will not want to get in the middle, as a custodial parent, you have the right to know which of these two she did. If she disenrolled them, she most likely has plans to re~enroll them someplace else. As long as she gets them back in school within the time period allowed in the new state, she is fine. Chances are, she knew this before proceeding. Also, school attendance is measured on an annual basis. In CO when we disenrolled our kids from their school last year, they ended up having a 6 1/2 week Christmas break due to the start date of the new school's semester.

Is she the one who always handled enrollments? Do you even know either child's SSN or have a copy of their BC? How about a recent photo (within the past month or two) that will show that you are and have been involved in their lives? As someone who has been witness to several contentious divorces, these are some of the things you might want to make sure you have to help counter anything she may allege.

In one case, when the couple got in front of the mediator, she handed them each a questionairre with two questions: 1) What is your child's shoe size? 2) What is the name of the principal at your child's school? and asked them each for their most recent photo of the child (this they were told to bring in). The mediator went into the next room and verified the information.

Dad had the right answers, and the most recent photo. Mom got the shoe size wrong and forgot the photo, despite claiming that Dad hadn't ever shown an interest in the child. He got the mediator's recommendation.

Good luck
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Old 12-13-2009, 10:25 AM
 
13 posts, read 61,765 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Left_in_KS View Post
Original poster making a reply
I have been out of work for 2 years, she has been out of work for 1 year...we both sat down and wrote out a plan to go back to school to graduate, we knew it would be tough and we knew we could make it. It would be Crap for a while but better in the end. She could not take it, I finished my Semester with outstanding marks. She had a hysterectomy (Which I personally believe has her hormones out of wack, and she is out of balance), In answer to the first post, the reasoning was she wanted time to be alone. The school policy is for children over age 7, that Kansas requires them to be in school. As a KU Student I get free legal advice, but this is not their area of specially, they target more issues directly towards the traditional student...drinking and driving, landlord hassles, and stuff of that nature. Not me the 36 year old guy, who loves his wife & kids and then all of a sudden they pick up and leave. I appreciate all the input and will continue to check back.
They should refer you to a lawyer with expertise in that area and he should know what to do.

Get as lawyer, it is foolish to ask for advice on the Internet, too much at stake here.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:01 PM
 
6 posts, read 39,426 times
Reputation: 19
Original Poster Again, with replies...
First to the last guy and everyone thanks...this is more for piece of mind than anything else for me at this point. I have met with the Police, I have met with an attorney, I have called legal services, I have all the statutes on the state of Kansas, I am not a idiot, I just want more vantage points and the possibility of learning about the mistakes not to make...so without saying anymore, I want to thank each one of you for your input, if it is good or bad, it is something that I might be able to grasp on. I met with the principle of the School the day I found out they were gone. I have written a letter of intent and clarification of what happened, that they my son was pulled without my permission and that will be entered into his school record. My son was dis enrolled, and not taken for an extended vacation, and as a matter of fact already enrolled in another school. I actually found out the school that he is attending a full week ahead of time, and found out what it would take to enroll him, and I found out it takes nothing at all. I also have in my letter of intent that I plan on having the kids in school by the 3rd the date I requested, her to return. If she does not I will file for a separation, but I want to ask and request as nice as possible first. I am trying to do right by my Kids first, and the my wife second. I Also, found out that by state law, nothing prevents me from going to Florida and taking the kids and bringing them back home. If you aren't separated, divorced or have a parental plan, or leagaly granted custody then by default they are communal property and both parents have the right to the kids until one of the above happen....so I can just take them, I again would prefer to save my marriage and would not do this. It is just a very interesting situation that I am in. I would love to resolve this in a peaceful manner. I just want my kids back in the state, married or not!
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:18 AM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,857,192 times
Reputation: 3142
Usually a parent is not allowed to take children out of the state without the other parent's consent. Unless there was domestic violence, she did not have to go about leaving this way. It sounds like your rights have been violated. I wish you the best.
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:32 AM
 
11 posts, read 38,305 times
Reputation: 14
That sucks.
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Old 12-15-2009, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Wichita, KS
1,463 posts, read 3,440,891 times
Reputation: 922
Sounds like you need a real attorney or at least try legal aid off campus.
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