Abilene, KS - Religion (Wichita, Salina: fit in, how much, new home)

[OPFamilyof4]

My family is considering moving to Abilene, Ks. We are not christian and my fear is that we (especially my young children) will be outcasts. Can someone from Abilene provide your thoughts on a family practicing Judaism / being Jewish in such a small town?

[vwbug27]

Coming from Abilene, I'm honestly not sure what to say about it. I don't think you would be as outcast as you think you may be, however, there is no Jewish synagogue, or any place to worship. The closest synagogue is in Wichita, which is 1.5 hours away. The schools do Christmas programs and celebrate quite a bit, and do sing religious songs. There would a lot of difficulty finding kosher food. It is just going to depend on how devout you are.

[Samantha S]

Originally Posted by OPFamilyof4

My family is considering moving to Abilene, Ks. We are not christian and my fear is that we (especially my young children) will be outcasts. Can someone from Abilene provide your thoughts on a family practicing Judaism / being Jewish in such a small town?

Being from that area, I think you are smart to be concerned. There are very few Jewish people in that part of the State. Add to that the tendency for small towns to be unwelcoming in general, and yes, you could have some issues.

But they are not insurmountable. The trick will be in how you present yourselves to the community. Begin by making as many visits to Abilene prior to moving as you can. Talk to people and ASK lots of questions, about family life, about the History of the town. Many families have been in that area for over 100 years. Listen to their stories and get to know them.

I would not suggest lying about your religion by any means. But personally, I would not make it immediate public knowledge. Let people find out casually, after they have already gotten to know your family and decided that they like you.

You want to avoid being known as "That Jewish family that just moved in." It's better to be known as "That nice couple with the two sweet kids .... oh, they're Jewish? How interesting." Word spreads fast, and there are few degrees of separation between anyone with the combination of work, school, activities and church.

Some neighbors may ask right away what church you go to. Again, don't lie, just smile and say you are so busy with the move that you haven't decided yet. (Which in fact may be true, as you might be able to find a few other Jewish families in the area that do meet regularly. No, that's not technically "church" but that's the gist of the question anyway.) It's not an inquisition, it's just casual conversation because most families you meet will be Christian, but if you answer right off with "We're Jewish" then you will immediately put up a divider, you know?

I'd like to say, "Oh, you'll be fine", but I know better. You will have issues that come up. How much of a stand you wish to make about them is up to you. It will certainly come down to striking the balance between community harmony and being true to your convictions that is most comfortable for you.

Best of luck to you and your family!

[Small Town Kansas]

This question reminds me of an old story, forget where I read it.......A young couple was visiting a small town they were considering moving to when they saw an old man sitting on his porch. The couple got out of their car, approached the old man, explained that they were considering making this small town their new home, and asked, "How are the people here? Are they friendly to newcomers?" The old man asked in return, "How were the people in your old town?" The couple replied, "They were awful! We just didn't get along or seem to fit in." The old man said, "Well, they're just the same here." The couple thanked him for his honesty and drove away.

A few weeks later the same old man was approached by another couple who were relocating. They asked him the same question as the previous couple. The old man asked in return, "How were the people in your old town?" The couple replied, "They were the greatest, we fit right in and made many friends. We hate to leave but our new jobs require it." The old man said, "Well, the people are just the same here." The couple thanked him and drove away happy.

[m1a1mg]

There is a synagogue in Manhattan. http://www.manhattanjewishcong.org/

If I may ask, why Abilene? If it's due to a military move, there are other options.

[klara.odinsdottir]

I can't comment on how you as practicing jews might do specifically, but being openly heathen in small towns such as Abilene and Chapman has been awkward for me. People stare at my hammer and at my tattoos. If the men in your family wear yarmulkes (which I've probably just misspelled horribly), I would imagine they might get some strange looks. Some people, especially older, treat going to church like eating dinner - everybody surely does it, right? Not so. That said, I've been in worse towns than Abilene where people wanted to physically assault me for not being christian. In Abilene the most you would get from some people are strange looks, the exception being a mob situation such as the typical groups of high school "cool" kids.

You might also have some trouble finding kosher food, maneshewitz (misspelled again I'm sure) or the type of place you worship at, which I don't know the word for. I do know I've never seen any type of religious sanctuary other than christian there. I believe there may be one of them in Manhattan or Salina, which are slightly larger towns within an hour's driving distance of Abilene.

Most of the people I've met in Abilene are nice folks. The older ones anyway. They may think you're odd but they don't really shun you, and as long as you're polite and well-mannered they'll grow to accept you regardless of whether you're different in some way.

[PixiebobPNW]

Originally Posted by OPFamilyof4

My family is considering moving to Abilene, Ks. We are not christian and my fear is that we (especially my young children) will be outcasts. Can someone from Abilene provide your thoughts on a family practicing Judaism / being Jewish in such a small town?

Silly! Silly! Silly! No one cares about your religion. I'm Jewish too and lived there briefly as well as Junction City and I met the best people of my entire life in Abilene and Junction City. I don't wear a T-shirt that says, "HI EVERYONE I'M JEWISH!" And no one was even walking around talking about religion to begin with. People don't care. You are white. Your kids are white. You are no different than anyone there so stop trying to seek attention for being Jewish. Stop trying to 'be different'. People in smaller towns are far more pro-israel than those in major cities.

[Mattks]

Originally Posted by OPFamilyof4

My family is considering moving to Abilene, Ks. We are not christian and my fear is that we (especially my young children) will be outcasts. Can someone from Abilene provide your thoughts on a family practicing Judaism / being Jewish in such a small town?

I'm not from Abilene, but a small town about an hour away. You shouldn't have problems with locals besides odd looks if you wear any Jewish clothing. There are probably no jews in Abilene, if you are very observant you might look at Manhattan which has a synagogue and probably some Jewish food options. If you are military you will probably regret living in Abilene.