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Old 05-13-2008, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,749 posts, read 19,559,442 times
Reputation: 2116

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomocox View Post
ivanna, I am not a single man, but I played one on radio. Does the word ugleeeeeeeee come to mind? Actually, I was a single man living both outside the triangle and inside the triangle. I can speak to you as a has been.

No matter what part of the state, nation, or Earth you tread, there are some mighty fine examples of single men and single women. There are also some real bums out there. Loneliness is a terrible burden and often much worse a catalyst causing huge mistakes. We all want to be loved. Anyone who doesn't is, well, unhealthy at best.

I promise you this. If you come to Kentucky, if you share your inner-beauty, that is your heart and soul with a man deserving (key word there) of your love, then you will look back and say, "this was the place to come to live." However, if you come to Kentucky and allow loneliness to command you, you will likely fall for one of Kentucky's jerks and wish you had never set foot here.

It's up to you my lovely friend. Come to Kentucky, be lovely, show love, practice love, and the men will find you. Come to Kentucky and hide under a rock and you'll be miserable in any part of the state.

Set your criteria high. You must believe that you are worthy of a good man, and you must test, test, and retest. All men love to get the milk free without buying the cow. If you are worthy and if he is a good man who really is worthy of you, he will understand your testing, and he will adore your worthfulness and he will reward you with love and shower you with attention.

I have travelled the rocky roads of romance, and I know. My bride is everything to me, and she expresses her love to me as I never can adequately express.
Tom that is an absolutely precious post! Your wife is truly blessed to have a man like you in her life.
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Old 05-13-2008, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,459 posts, read 21,205,608 times
Reputation: 17675
"Pssst, hey..Ivanna"..Blue whispers "find out if Tomocox has any single brothers"..and start there
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Old 05-13-2008, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Kentucky
2,927 posts, read 7,394,858 times
Reputation: 1301
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymomof3 View Post
Oh, it didn't seem like it. Sorry!
My only gripe about message boards and email is that you can't really tell if a person is joking, serious, or mad sometimes. I tend to get confused as well. I'm a joking person most of the time and some people just don't "get" me.
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Old 05-13-2008, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,749 posts, read 19,559,442 times
Reputation: 2116
Quote:
Originally Posted by InLondon View Post
My only gripe about message boards and email is that you can't really tell if a person is joking, serious, or mad sometimes. I tend to get confused as well. I'm a joking person most of the time and some people just don't "get" me.
It is hard for emotions to come through on these boards.
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Old 05-13-2008, 11:04 AM
 
Location: KY
285 posts, read 792,462 times
Reputation: 66
tomocox that is a truly touching response and I believe you are right.
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Old 05-13-2008, 01:27 PM
 
216 posts, read 1,072,582 times
Reputation: 131
Default Let's get rid of the "Why Buy the Cow When the Milk is Free" phrase

Quote:
Originally Posted by tomocox View Post

Set your criteria high. You must believe that you are worthy of a good man, and you must test, test, and retest. All men love to get the milk free without buying the cow. If you are worthy and if he is a good man who really is worthy of you, he will understand your testing, and he will adore your worthfulness and he will reward you with love and shower you with attention.
Tomocox, with all due respect, while your post is right on and heartfelt, I would like to get rid of the "why buy the milk when the milk is free" thinking. Here's why.

For the purposes of this post, I am not going to assume that the woman is the cow (product) and the man is the buyer of the cow. It might be that a man is actually deciding to wait and the woman might be the buyer. That does happen and I admire men who choose this.

First, a person who chooses to wait, waits because it is something for "themselves." It is a decision to do something or not to do something because it is a value for that person. It is not because they are afraid someone won't love them after they give all of themselves.

Second, love is not something bought or sold. It is a feeling and a gift between two people. It may be that a person "waits" and after they are married or committed realizes that the other person doesn't really love them the way the thought they would. "Waiting" doesn't guarantee the other person will love you the way you think it should. But it will guarantee that you stayed true to your own value.

Let's get beyond thinking that the reason to wait is to dangle a carrot in front of the other person (which the cow/milk phrase implys. "You can't have me until you buy me.This is all a big test.") Many people share themselves with each other when they feel the time is appropriate for them....and that might not be what someone else would feel is right or appropriate. It's as personal as the relationship itself. The real lesson is to "know thyself." When you truly know, value, and love yourself...you attract others who will do the same. Much more powerful than being a cow with an udder filled with milk.

Last edited by cynthia007; 05-13-2008 at 01:37 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 05-13-2008, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Louisville KY Metro area
4,824 posts, read 12,482,479 times
Reputation: 2112
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynthia007 View Post
Tomocox, with all due respect, while your post is right on and heartfelt, I would like to get rid of the "why buy the milk when the milk is free" thinking. Here's why.

For the purposes of this post, I am not going to assume that the woman is the cow (product) and the man is the buyer of the cow. It might be that a man is actually deciding to wait and the woman might be the buyer. That does happen and I admire men who choose this.

First, a person who chooses to wait, waits because it is something for "themselves." It is a decision to do something or not to do something because it is a value for that person. It is not because they are afraid someone won't love them after they give all of themselves.

Second, love is not something bought or sold. It is a feeling and a gift between two people. It may be that a person "waits" and after they are married or committed realizes that the other person doesn't really love them the way the thought they would. "Waiting" doesn't guarantee the other person will love you the way you think it should. But it will guarantee that you stayed true to your own value.

Let's get beyond thinking that the reason to wait is to dangle a carrot in front of the other person (which the cow/milk phrase implys. "You can't have me until you buy me.This is all a big test.") Many people share themselves with each other when they feel the time is appropriate for them....and that might not be what someone else would feel is right or appropriate. It's as personal as the relationship itself. The real lesson is to "know thyself." When you truly know, value, and love yourself...you attract others who will do the same. Much more powerful than being a cow with an udder filled with milk.
How silly! With all the respect that I have for women, yet also a deep and abiding love for Kentucky terminology, while I understand your thoughts, I won't pull an historically accurate analogy. If you are offended, I am deeply and truly sorry.
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Old 05-13-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Kentucky
820 posts, read 2,528,379 times
Reputation: 551
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomocox View Post
ivanna, I am not a single man, but I played one on radio. Does the word ugleeeeeeeee come to mind? Actually, I was a single man living both outside the triangle and inside the triangle. I can speak to you as a has been.

No matter what part of the state, nation, or Earth you tread, there are some mighty fine examples of single men and single women. There are also some real bums out there. Loneliness is a terrible burden and often much worse a catalyst causing huge mistakes. We all want to be loved. Anyone who doesn't is, well, unhealthy at best.

I promise you this. If you come to Kentucky, if you share your inner-beauty, that is your heart and soul with a man deserving (key word there) of your love, then you will look back and say, "this was the place to come to live." However, if you come to Kentucky and allow loneliness to command you, you will likely fall for one of Kentucky's jerks and wish you had never set foot here.

It's up to you my lovely friend. Come to Kentucky, be lovely, show love, practice love, and the men will find you. Come to Kentucky and hide under a rock and you'll be miserable in any part of the state.

Set your criteria high. You must believe that you are worthy of a good man, and you must test, test, and retest. All men love to get the milk free without buying the cow. If you are worthy and if he is a good man who really is worthy of you, he will understand your testing, and he will adore your worthfulness and he will reward you with love and shower you with attention.

I have travelled the rocky roads of romance, and I know. My bride is everything to me, and she expresses her love to me as I never can adequately express.
Beautiful thoughts!
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Old 05-13-2008, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,749 posts, read 19,559,442 times
Reputation: 2116
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegrassgirl View Post
Beautiful thoughts!
I agree, isn't he a doll????
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Old 05-13-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Location: KY
285 posts, read 792,462 times
Reputation: 66
I'm sorry Cynthia but many times the "get the milk for free" is a true definition of what might be the deciding factor if a relationship is to "work". If that is true then one may want to rethink there friend is not into a real relationship for the long haul. It just depends on what and individual wants from there relationship. I'm divorced but the one thing I have to admit is it takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. I hardly ever hear the party with a divorce take at least some of the blame. I said "I do" also and so that makes me respondsible for allowing the union. I can't blame my ex for my contribution. Just another way to look at it in my opinion.

Last edited by shilo0854; 05-13-2008 at 04:43 PM.. Reason: correction
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