Mixed race family (Knoxville, Lenoir City: home, job market, school)
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I'm not sure if this has been covered before (I tried to do a search and found nothing related), so forgive me if so.
I am currently working and living in NYC (originally from California), but I have family and a home in Lenoir City (where I plan to relocate to once the market improves - not the smartest thing to do to quit a job during a "recession". I would hope sometime next year).
I have spent a lot of time there and currently I visit just about every other month and I love East Tennessee. So, I have no hesitation in moving there permanently EXCEPT I am worried about the following:I am in the process of trying to adopt a child. Are my concerns about possibly adopting an African American or Latino child and bringing them to TN valid? I am white, fairly progressive, have lived in many other countries and been involved in numerous cross-cultural environments. I know that I could give any child a loving and secure home and family. But is it unfair to bring a child of color to the South if that child is going to be raised in a white home? Mostly, I worry about how they will be treated in school when it comes time to date and, of course, in the job market when the time comes.
I have read many of the threads about racism and am convinced that most people will accept others based on their character and actions rather than their skin color. Would love to hear all of your thoughts with regard to this aspect of mixed-race families. Thanks a bunch!
I'm not sure if this has been covered before (I tried to do a search and found nothing related), so forgive me if so.
I am currently working and living in NYC (originally from California), but I have family and a home in Lenoir City (where I plan to relocate to once the market improves - not the smartest thing to do to quit a job during a "recession". I would hope sometime next year).
I have spent a lot of time there and currently I visit just about every other month and I love East Tennessee. So, I have no hesitation in moving there permanently EXCEPT I am worried about the following:I am in the process of trying to adopt a child. Are my concerns about possibly adopting an African American or Latino child and bringing them to TN valid? I am white, fairly progressive, have lived in many other countries and been involved in numerous cross-cultural environments. I know that I could give any child a loving and secure home and family. But is it unfair to bring a child of color to the South if that child is going to be raised in a white home? Mostly, I worry about how they will be treated in school when it comes time to date and, of course, in the job market when the time comes.
I have read many of the threads about racism and am convinced that most people will accept others based on their character and actions rather than their skin color. Would love to hear all of your thoughts with regard to this aspect of mixed-race families. Thanks a bunch!
I find that it is only a problem if you make it one...otherwise, live and let live. I have a really good friend that adopted 2 African American kids (my friend is a white as flour) and they have had no problems whatsoever.
Wow, we seem to get tons of questions with concerns about mixed-race marriage and mixed-race families. Maybe 20 years ago, you'd have had a problem. Makes me wonder how the South is viewed outside the South! Race and gender aren't issues, just homophobia.
Wow, we seem to get tons of questions with concerns about mixed-race marriage and mixed-race families. Maybe 20 years ago, you'd have had a problem. Makes me wonder how the South is viewed outside the South! Race and gender aren't issues, just homophobia.
Well, although I agree that things have certainly improved in 20 years, I still think there is racism in this area.
Is it prevalent? I don't think so, but it's not NYC, either.
Would I discourage you from moving here? No, but be aware that it will not be clear sailing, either.
On a side note, adoption, mixed-race and unwanted children issues touch me on a personal level that no one on this forum is aware of. To you I say, "Bravo!"
I honestly don't understand why this is even an issue. People act as if the only racists in the country are in the South, as if no one up North is racist.
I know plenty, and I mean PLENTY of interracial couples here in Knoxville, and a couple of white families in my church (Mormon) have adopted black babies. No one bats an eye, and the children are treated with the same loving care that any others are.
So, come on down! Enjoy the weather, the friendliness, and don't make it such a big deal.
I honestly don't understand why this is even an issue. People act as if the only racists in the country are in the South, as if no one up North is racist.
This is so true. Biggest racists I have ever met have not been from or live in the South.
Obviously, there is an enormous perception problem when it comes to people's attitudes about the South. Hopefully, this will continue to be adjusted as more people learn the truth.
From my own perspective, however, (and probably the reason I was nervous about this issue in the first place) was from the outrageous attitudes of two former brother-in-laws. One has practically disowned his daughter from his first marriage when she started dating a black boy. The other one's family threatened to disown my niece if she ever thought about dating a [insert the N-word here]. Now, how my sister ever had the bad sense and misfortune to marry not one, but two of these types of guys is unbelievable to most who know our family. Now, I admit I have lived in very liberal places, but this was (hands down) the most racism I have encountered in my life, let alone in one place.
So, I truly apologize if I have offended anyone here. I'm sure you are sick of having to defend yourselves with regard to these stereotypes.
Again, thank you for putting my mind at ease. My future, prospective child and I will be very happy and lucky when I finally am able to make the move to TN.
Obviously, there is an enormous perception problem when it comes to people's attitudes about the South. Hopefully, this will continue to be adjusted as more people learn the truth.
From my own perspective, however, (and probably the reason I was nervous about this issue in the first place) was from the outrageous attitudes of two former brother-in-laws. One has practically disowned his daughter from his first marriage when she started dating a black boy. The other one's family threatened to disown my niece if she ever thought about dating a [insert the N-word here]. Now, how my sister ever had the bad sense and misfortune to marry not one, but two of these types of guys is unbelievable to most who know our family. Now, I admit I have lived in very liberal places, but this was (hands down) the most racism I have encountered in my life, let alone in one place.
So, I truly apologize if I have offended anyone here. I'm sure you are sick of having to defend yourselves with regard to these stereotypes.
Again, thank you for putting my mind at ease. My future, prospective child and I will be very happy and lucky when I finally am able to make the move to TN.
It's sickening to me that racism exists at all, no matter where. I hope you'll enjoy living in Tennessee as much as we do! Good luck with the move.
To be completely honest, i think adopting a child is a lovely, selfless gesture; I think adopting a non-white child puts a bit of extra "oomph" in it. It's über-good.
I wish you good health, good luck, happiness and love and all in life that's sweet and peaceful!
With all due respect, I think comparing it to one's child entering a mixed-race relationship or marriage is a whole separate issue and the conflict isn't always racism-induced.
Regardless, enjoy Tennessee and best wishes to you all!
With all due respect, I think comparing it to one's child entering a mixed-race relationship or marriage is a whole separate issue and the conflict isn't always racism-induced.
What does that mean?
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