Caught myself saying this....... (Knoxville, Columbia: house, rent, job)

[Barking Spider]

It used to kill me when someone would give me directions this way, but today I did it myself. Goes like this....

Oh, you know where so and so is! It's right where this and that USED TO BE!

The other thing that gets me when someone is giving me directions, way too much information about unrelated things.

Example:

You get off at exit 111 and turn left. Go through the red light (don't know why they are always red), past the church, keep going a ways, then you'll see a hardware store on the left with a bunch of wheelbarrows in front, right after the store is a school, right across the street from the playground is a street. Turn right at the next street. Go down that road a ways, maybe 2 - 6 miles, and keep right at the forks. You'll pass a big white house on the right. Keep going over the hill. Before you get to the creek crossing you will turn left where there are 6 mailboxes by the road. Take the left gravel driveway until you see the house.

I tried to find the actual directions from that job (so I would be accurate), but this is pretty close to how it went.

[goodbyehollywood]

Yes, a stoplight is always a red light. Actual color is irrelevant.

"A ways" can be anywhere from a few blocks to clear in the next county. "A little ways" is pretty much the same thing.

"The store" is always a grocery store, of indeterminate name.

"Right after," "just before" and "before you get to" are totally subjective and will almost never agree with your definition of the term.

There is usually a church in the directions somewhere.

And it may not look like a church.

Thank goodness for Mapquest.

[knoxgarden]

I've run into that all over the South. I think it's because street names and even route numbers change on a whim. Also, towns don't seem to be real gung-ho about setting up and maintaining street signs. Street signs seem to get knocked down a lot and never put back up so you can't really rely on them, especially in more rural areas.
A lot of times, the only way to give accurate directions is to use landmarks.

[gemkeeper]

Or, you have asked someone for directions who is about as useful as a compass at the North Pole.

They'll tell you to turn right one block past the hardware store at the traffic light and then go on a little ways. When in reality after you pass the hardware store you drive for 5 miles before realizing there is no traffic light. There WAS one just before the hardware store, however.

And, surprise, you don't really want to turn right - they meant their other right. Ask a paper boy or pizza delivery guy; he'll get you there.

[supernerdgirl]

Originally Posted by knoxgarden

I've run into that all over the South. I think it's because street names and even route numbers change on a whim. Also, towns don't seem to be real gung-ho about setting up and maintaining street signs. Street signs seem to get knocked down a lot and never put back up so you can't really rely on them, especially in more rural areas.
A lot of times, the only way to give accurate directions is to use landmarks.

what IS the deal with changing the street names so quickly? what immediately comes to mind is Broadway/Henley Street/Chapman Highway.

I LOVE the grid up here in Chicago.... some people here only give directions by street numbers. for example I live at 5700 North and 1100 West.

[NJDevil]

why are maps never right? the people that make maps - isn't their job to study the roads and get them right? just wondering. It makes me want to make maps.

[supernerdgirl]

Originally Posted by NJDevil

why are maps never right? the people that make maps - isn't their job to study the roads and get them right? just wondering. It makes me want to make maps.

could be because the cartographers don't realize that southern roads can have up to 15* names? I gave one example, but my parents' house in Columbia, TN is called Double Branch, but apparently at one time it was called Flint Valley road, and probably some of the old timers still call it that. Also, apparently every state route in Tennessee has a signed number and a "secret" number.
*just an estimate.

And don't even get me started on everything that's wrong with this picture:

[mysticfire0213]

Originally Posted by supernerdgirl

could be because the cartographers don't realize that southern roads can have up to 15* names? I gave one example, but my parents' house in Columbia, TN is called Double Branch, but apparently at one time it was called Flint Valley road, and probably some of the old timers still call it that. Also, apparently every state route in Tennessee has a signed number and a "secret" number.
*just an estimate.

And don't even get me started on everything that's wrong with this picture:

I LOVE it--that's FANTASTIC!!!

[NJDevil]

I've wanted to take that picture. Thanks!!! I look at maps and see roads that go east-west, yet the road is referred to as north-south. (or vice versa) Maybe mapping software simply cannot draw all the curves that exist in this area's roads. I don't think Sevier County HAS any straight roads.

[supernerdgirl]

Originally Posted by NJDevil

I've wanted to take that picture. Thanks!!!

I made SURE to get that photo before I moved out of Tennessee. I had wanted to when I lived in Knoxville but didn't get the chance, so when i went back to visit one last time, I was sure to do it.