Attitudes toward Northerners ("Yankees") (Memphis, Knoxville: theater, live, restaurants)

[dave1961]

I had visited Knoxville a few times before buying a homesite in north Knox County, and I have to say, all the people I came in contact with were friendly to me. Except for one. I accidentally cut off another driver while I was making a right turn onto a busy road, and he flipped me the big ol' bird. My bad.

[manyroads]

First off, I'd like to thank all of you who've posted in this thread for your wonderful advice and information. I really appreciate it!

Originally Posted by hiknapster

Look! It's the ever-elusive "hiknapster!"

One final comment, and it is my biggest concern. I absolutely abhor how you portray New Yorkers, manyroads. Most New Yorkers may come across as abrupt but most are kind, loving people that would do anything for anyone.

Be proud of who you are, manyroads, and no matter where you go you will be respected and make friends. Always be you.

When I made my remark about me not being a "typical New Yorker", I guess I was thinking of the image that most people from outside of NY have of natives of NY, particularly people from the NYC area. New York is a fairly large state, and certainly there are going to be differences between the people you meet in New York City, and Albany, for example. And even within a city, not everyone is going to act the same way.
Nevertheless, I wish that I could agree with your statement about New Yorkers being kind, loving people... but based on my own experiences, I can't.
I've lived in Westchester county, just north of NYC, since I was 2 years old. Westchester used to be a place where people would go to work on a more or less 9 to 5 schedule, Monday to Friday, and then spend the weekend doing chores around their houses, and relaxing with their families. Things have changed a lot over the years. Everyone here seems SO consumed with making money, and keeping up with (or surpassing) the Jones's, that they all seem stressed out, hurried, and just seem to have lost touch with what's really important in life. People rush to work on the highways, and then when work is over, they're rushing home too, all the while ignoring the posted speed limits, as if the signs are just there as a suggestion! Parents spend so much time working, so they can afford their oversized houses, overpriced cars, and lavish their kids with things, that they're not even involved in their kids lives anymore. It's not uncommon for parents to send a car service to pick up or drive their kids somewhere, instead of doing it themselves. The kids have become so spoiled, that they don't know what it's like to actually have to work to earn money to buy things they want. I can't remember the last time I actually saw a teenager working in fast food restaurant in this area. Nowadays the only people you see working there are hispanics and blacks (and I give them credit for it). There just seems to be a general lack of courtesy here... a sort of "get out of my way" mentality that didn't exist years ago.
A friend of mine has spent the winters at his sister's home in a small town east of Knoxville for the last several years. He is always remarking to me how much friendlier the people are that he meets when he's in TN compared to the people in his hometown of Yonkers, NY (just north of NYC).
I'm sorry, if I offended you, hiknapster, but at least right here in the NY metro area, there are a great many people who do not exhibit courtesy, kindness or friendliness toward others.[/quote]

Originally Posted by JMT

And driving here is a dream; about the most annoying part about driving in Knoxville is that if 4 cars pull up to a 4-way stop at the same time, expect to sit there for a while because everyone keeps waving for the other person to go first.

Funny you should bring that up! I experienced this very thing on a visit to Knoxville the week before Thanksgiving. My friend and I were driving around the downtown area in my car, just checking out the sights. I can't remember exactly what street it was, but we came to a 3-way intersection. There was a car on the other side of the intersection approaching me, and another on my right. All 3 of us were stopped. From where I was, I could only go left or right. I wanted to make a left turn, and was waving on the man opposite me to go before I made my turn. He sat there, waiting for me to turn first. In the meantime, I guess the woman on my right got impatient, and decided to go ahead of the rest of us. Although I didn't see it myself because I was looking at the car directly across from me, my friend said that as she was making the turn, the woman was acting like she was shouting or cursing at me from within her car. Oh well, that's what I get for trying to be courteous, I guess!

[hiknapster]

manyroads, I consider Westchester County to be more like Connecticut than New York. My family is from Manhattan and the Bronx.

Those superficial people remind of a lot of the people that now populate Florida. They are creepy, rude and make for an unpleasant day.

[Pam& Bill]

Originally Posted by hiknapster

manyroads, I consider Westchester County to be more like Connecticut than New York. My family is from Manhattan and the Bronx.

Those superficial people remind of a lot of the people that now populate Florida. They are creepy, rude and make for an unpleasant day.

Hik,
Maybe years and years ago, Westchester was like Ct, but in recent years Westchester county is more like a bedroom community for those that work in NYC. The majority wanted out of the rat race of metro NY, but still wanted a short commute back into the city. The city has influenced that area alot. Many roads correct me if I'm giving a wrong account of Westchester? But speaking as a former upstater, Westchester County more or less was almost like being in the city, with prices, traffic and the crowds. In fact the multitudes of cousins that I have that reside in and around Westchester county are all paid what we used to call "city wages".
Pam

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by Pam& Bill

Hik,
Maybe years and years ago, Westchester was like Ct, but in recent years Westchester county is more like a bedroom community for those that work in NYC.

Right. Westchester has been a bedroom community for years, just like southwest CT. I guess I should have specified. I didn't mean like the entire state of CT.

[mbmouse]

Hey! I am from CT.
I know what the OP meant even if it was a generalization.
No, there is really no comparison, in my opinion when it comes to the general attitude of people between NY city and East TN. However there is always one or two in every crowd that are exceptions to the rule. The big difference, I think, is that if you are in NY, CT, MA etc. and you have done something to tick off someone, they will let you know where you stand with them, no questions asked. Here in TN, you may do something to tick someone off but they will smile at you and you aren't quite sure how you stand sometimes. hahahhaaha For example, the phrase "Bless your heart". Sometimes it is said in genuine concern, sometimes it is said as a real insult.
In NY the "f" word is common place, you don't hear it much here unless you are on a construction site or some other such place. Not discussing certain subjects in "mixed company" (meaning if there is a lady within ear shot) still holds true here a lot.
It is just a different culture for the most part.

[guyL]

My feelings are pretty mixed after reading many of the post on transplants.
One person said why do you have to go somewhere feeling your nOT wanted . another said some smile to your face but will stab you in the back
there was senior yankee 6 years trying to make friends , Kimrandy2007, amyevansmom and many more.
Im in sales and would feel I would lose business because i wasnt a " good "ole Boy" and i certainly dont want my kids made fun of. I mean Knoxville sounds beautiful and affordable But there are a few other places in the country that could fit that description too.. I guess I wouldnt pick up and chance it at my age to find out Im fighting an uphill battle to fit in..

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by mbmouse

Hey! I am from CT.
I know what the OP meant even if it was a generalization.
No, there is really no comparison, in my opinion when it comes to the general attitude of people between NY city and East TN. However there is always one or two in every crowd that are exceptions to the rule. The big difference, I think, is that if you are in NY, CT, MA etc. and you have done something to tick off someone, they will let you know where you stand with them, no questions asked. Here in TN, you may do something to tick someone off but they will smile at you and you aren't quite sure how you stand sometimes. hahahhaaha For example, the phrase "Bless your heart". Sometimes it is said in genuine concern, sometimes it is said as a real insult.
In NY the "f" word is common place, you don't hear it much here unless you are on a construction site or some other such place. Not discussing certain subjects in "mixed company" (meaning if there is a lady within ear shot) still holds true here a lot.
It is just a different culture for the most part.

Well, over the phone, they don't hesitate to swear, insult, degrade whether they are male or female. Face-to-face, it is very rare for them to be that aggressive or impolite.

I think most people are alike, it is just that their approach may be different and it is certainly something that newcomers need to be aware of. Just because someone is smiling and calling you "ma'am" does not mean that he won't steal from you.

[mbmouse]

Originally Posted by hiknapster

Well, over the phone, they don't hesitate to swear, insult, degrade whether they are male or female. Face-to-face, it is very rare for them to be that aggressive or impolite.

I think most people are alike, it is just that their approach may be different and it is certainly something that newcomers need to be aware of. Just because someone is smiling and calling you "ma'am" does not mean that he won't steal from you.

See, even the thieves will be polite here in TN!!! LOL!
( Sorry, I couldn't resist )

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by guyL

My feelings are pretty mixed after reading many of the post on transplants.
One person said why do you have to go somewhere feeling your nOT wanted . another said some smile to your face but will stab you in the back
there was senior yankee 6 years trying to make friends , Kimrandy2007, amyevansmom and many more.
Im in sales and would feel I would lose business because i wasnt a " good "ole Boy" and i certainly dont want my kids made fun of. I mean Knoxville sounds beautiful and affordable But there are a few other places in the country that could fit that description too.. I guess I wouldnt pick up and chance it at my age to find out Im fighting an uphill battle to fit in..

Baloney. Stick to the cities and you will fit in fine.

However, sales is tough no matter where you live at this point. I've been in sales many times and this has got to be the worst in my memory. However, the economy here is so much better than most places that you still have a shot.

But you can never have a defeatist attitude and be able to sell, no matter where you live. You've already convinced yourself that this isn't the place for you.