"Bless your heart!" Should I still feel offended? (nurses, clothes)

[alliemac]

I love this- I say it all the time.

[ceeglass]

Another Southern thing, like "how nice for you dear," is "well, my goodness, isn't that special." It means we can't say what we're really thinking, so we try to say something kind without really saying anything great because we'd be lying and Mama's voice along with our childhood Sunday School teacher's would be allover inside of our head. My Daddy jokes that "lying is an abomination to the Lord and an ever present help in time of need." "Nice" and "special" fall into that grey area of not quite lying and not quite telling the truth and are ever present helps in time of need.

[PAMOTN]

why can't people just say what they mean and not dance around the issue at hand. it kind of drives me crazy.... but then again I don't talk all that much. Just when I have something to say, and not just for the sake of talking.

[farmerandpoet]

wow, am I going to put my foot in my mouth when we get moved to Tennessee. I say cute, nice and have a good day all the time, see ya later, and stop by sometime. I mean them just the way they sound. Anytime someone says bless your heart I will wonder what they mean by that.Up here in Minnesota we say what we mean and mean what we say, not to say thats always a great thing if your being insulted, but at least you know you are. LOL!

[ceeglass]

As Sountherner's we grow up hearing "discretion is the better part of valor," and as another poster said "if you can't say anything nice, etc." but we also believe at times "if you can't say anything nice, say something non-commital because it would be rude not to respond."

[jabogitlu]

But you know, for every 3 Southerners who are politely fake there's five who will tell you exactly like it is. And a lot of times you sure as hell wish you were talking to the fake polite instead because when we're honest, by God, we're honest.

[Katsmeeyow]

Originally Posted by jabogitlu

But you know, for every 3 Southerners who are politely fake there's five who will tell you exactly like it is. And a lot of times you sure as hell wish you were talking to the fake polite instead because when we're honest, by God, we're honest.

Amen and Amen!

[Huckleberry3911948]

the entire intent of most southern manners are to diffuse and disarm conflict and confrontation.
the nature of manners. you have repeated in your OP that you were insulted.
did you take offense or was it given. please explain.

[ceeglass]

Originally Posted by jabogitlu

But you know, for every 3 Southerners who are politely fake there's five who will tell you exactly like it is. And a lot of times you sure as hell wish you were talking to the fake polite instead because when we're honest, by God, we're honest.

I see you point and agree to an extent. But, don't you think when a Southerner decides to be "honest," it's not so much with the intent to hurt or be verbally abusive, although Jerks live everywhere, but generally with the intent to help either the person with whom you're being brutally honest (like I said, for their own good) or to help another person? Such as "dad gummit, Mister, you're not going to speak to this lady like that, who the Sam Hill do you think you are? We don't treat ladies that where I'm from and you're not going to in my presence, sir." I heard exactly that said, slathered in a rich Southern accent, right here in California, by a gentleman who I had to ask where he was from and he answered "Pikeville, Kentucky Ma'am." I said, "I knew it!" No gentlemen like you exist in California unless they're from someplace else." I loved it!
It made me proud to be from the South, besides Mama and Daddy were originally from Kentucky before going to Tennessee where I was born.

[ceeglass]

Shall we all break in to a chorus of "Dixie." Key of G Maestro. "I wish I was in the Land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten, look away, look away, look away Dixieland." Marysville, you could have sung just a little louder and Fountain City, let's not try to drown out Nashville next time just because we think the state capitol ought to be in Knoxville (even though you're right.)

Many in California, like all of Berkeley, would find me very politically incorrect and accuse me of leading a mob mentality to sing OMG! a Steven Foster song! Well, Berkeley can "sit on it and rotate"...another fine Southern expression indicating exasperation....but, for their own good, of course.