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Old 05-13-2009, 07:56 PM
 
Location: South GA
12,015 posts, read 11,291,389 times
Reputation: 21911

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
the entire intent of most southern manners are to diffuse and disarm conflict and confrontation.
the nature of manners. you have repeated in your OP that you were insulted.
did you take offense or was it given. please explain.
Very well said, Huck. You captured the essence of "southern manners" completely!
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Old 08-13-2009, 05:08 AM
 
122 posts, read 338,132 times
Reputation: 53
I agree with most on "bless your heart", sometimes we really mean "bless your heart" and sometimes we say it when there's nothing else to say...


Southern vocabulary...

lovely--highest praise
precious--high compliment
darling--also high compliment(can be used with precious) "your children are precious and they wear the most darlin' clothes"
cute--not exactly a high compliment, but not a complete put down either
sweet--The kiss of death
nice--the kiss of death with the coffin sealed

from "A Southern Belle Primer or Why Princess Margaret will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma" by Marylin Schwartz

then...there's tacky!
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Old 08-13-2009, 06:07 AM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,285,430 times
Reputation: 13615
I'll never remember that list, which is fine.

If someone says that I am or my clothes are nice, I'll assume they mean it.

I don't have time for passive-aggressiveness and this Yankee refuses to be rude.
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Old 08-13-2009, 07:30 AM
 
13,353 posts, read 39,963,688 times
Reputation: 10790
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
I'll never remember that list, which is fine.

If someone says that I am or my clothes are nice, I'll assume they mean it.

I don't have time for passive-aggressiveness and this Yankee refuses to be rude.
I agree with you. And my very Southern, steel magnolia of a mother apparently agrees with you, too. When my mom calls someone "sweet" or "nice" she really means it.
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Old 08-13-2009, 08:01 AM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,285,430 times
Reputation: 13615
Quote:
Originally Posted by JMT View Post
I agree with you. And my very Southern, steel magnolia of a mother apparently agrees with you, too. When my mom calls someone "sweet" or "nice" she really means it.
Well, thank goodness. I'm pretty sure she called me at least one of those adjectives!

Your mother embodies the spirit of the true Southern woman. Enough said.
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Old 08-13-2009, 09:24 AM
 
122 posts, read 338,132 times
Reputation: 53
It's from a book y'all! LOL...

I guess because I dared post such nonsense I am somehow less southern or ungracious...but at the risk of sounding trite...y'all brought it up...or someone did on this thread so I thought I'd provide something that I'd read in reference to those posts...anyhow...something that is precious, would be better than something that is nice...not that nice isn't nice...it's just not precious

Last edited by tnprincess; 08-13-2009 at 10:32 AM.. Reason: 2morecents...
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:02 AM
 
73,012 posts, read 62,607,656 times
Reputation: 21930
Sometimes, "bless your heart" can have different meanings. When I had surgery last year, I was in alot of pain. One of the nurses said to me "bless your heart". Perhaps it was her way of empathizing with me, seeing that I was in alot of pain. I have friends who tell me "bless your heart" is just a nice way of insulting someone. The only time it was ever said to me was when I was in the hospital, in intense pain. I could tell it came from a genuine place. Actually, this was one of my fonder moments of being in Rome,GA.
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:13 AM
 
122 posts, read 338,132 times
Reputation: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte View Post
Sometimes, "bless your heart" can have different meanings. When I had surgery last year, I was in alot of pain. One of the nurses said to me "bless your heart". Perhaps it was her way of empathizing with me, seeing that I was in alot of pain. I have friends who tell me "bless your heart" is just a nice way of insulting someone. The only time it was ever said to me was when I was in the hospital, in intense pain. I could tell it came from a genuine place. Actually, this was one of my fonder moments of being in Rome,GA.

Yes, it is a way of empathizing! Showing empathy and mercy...

A few years ago, I'm not sure about the name of the book, but it was stated in that book that "bless your heart" was a way of insulting someone...I had never even thought that until I read that...I guess it depends on the person...when I say "bless your heart" it's because I'm showing sympathy...
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Chattanooga, TN
623 posts, read 1,542,655 times
Reputation: 347
The worst is when someone calls you "honey." So condescending.
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Old 08-13-2009, 10:28 AM
 
122 posts, read 338,132 times
Reputation: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by VolDude View Post
The worst is when someone calls you "honey." So condescending.

I'm sorry that you find endearments condescending...

I've always thought it was better than to call someone "hey you" but that's just me
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