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Old 02-26-2008, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Atlanta suburb
4,733 posts, read 6,250,614 times
Reputation: 3396
Smile Find the right location first, then, find the house.

You are entirely correct, goodbyehollywood - at least, in my opinion.

There are many who don't really understand the finesse of moving into a new location and respecting the values and culture that has already be established there. One is only asking for resistance and unacceptance is he/she tries to upset the balance in the neighborhood.

Sometimes, change would be a good thing, but if you are the new guy on the block, then sit back for a while and get a feel of how others there feel and do things. Your push to change the community will meet with a big push back at you.

This is why it really appeals to me to live in a rented home for 6 months to a year so you get to know the different neighborhoods and find the one that is right for you.

I think that your overall happiness in an area will depend on your "fitting in" with your new environment than the actual structure you are living in. Perhaps we should shop for a community and then find a house.
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Old 02-26-2008, 05:44 PM
 
Location: In an alternate universe according to some, AKA Aspergers
10,215 posts, read 10,875,336 times
Reputation: 4483
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemthornton View Post
You are entirely correct, goodbyehollywood - at least, in my opinion.

There are many who don't really understand the finesse of moving into a new location and respecting the values and culture that has already be established there. One is only asking for resistance and unacceptance is he/she tries to upset the balance in the neighborhood.

Sometimes, change would be a good thing, but if you are the new guy on the block, then sit back for a while and get a feel of how others there feel and do things. Your push to change the community will meet with a big push back at you.

This is why it really appeals to me to live in a rented home for 6 months to a year so you get to know the different neighborhoods and find the one that is right for you.

I think that your overall happiness in an area will depend on your "fitting in" with your new environment than the actual structure you are living in. Perhaps we should shop for a community and then find a house.
After moving many times and making some real bad errors in neighborhoods I agree with your thought. That's most likely what we'll be doing when we get to TN since I'd rather not buy and be miserable and stuck.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:23 PM
 
2,199 posts, read 4,803,504 times
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I made that mistake once before and learned that lesson the hard way-- shop the neighborhoods first before even looking at houses. Knoxville has so many neighborhoods, it took me forever to find the right one. Then I ended up choosing the lot, not the house. There are many things about my house that aren't really "me," but I knew I could redecorate over time. I couldn't do anything about the lot. And a good lot is surprisingly hard to find in Knoxville.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:51 PM
 
Location: America, Inc.
1,012 posts, read 1,636,330 times
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GBH, you and gemthornton always seem to make pertinent observations. In response to several of the posts on this thread, I will reinterate a converstion I overheard several months ago at a bookstore near West Town. The converstaion was between a man and a female employee, both of whom were apparently new transplants. After describing the areas from which they moved, the woman asked the man, "So have you met anyone yet who is actually from here?" Yes, Knoxville has many transplants from other areas, and apparently many more on the way West Knoxville and Farragut may now be compromised of 1/3 to 1/2 transplants (purely speculation). I stopped counting the number of Florida, Michigan, and Ohio plates on cars around here a long time ago There are many natives (including myself) that are pleased that others are finally realizing the potential that we always knew Knoxville had!

Remember: No city is homogenous; one area of town may seem (and in some ways may be) like a completely different city than another area!
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Atlanta suburb
4,733 posts, read 6,250,614 times
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Smile Nice to hear that Kitties of Domination.

Wow, thanks, Kitties of Domination! It is so nice to hear that out-of-staters can be a positive addition to Knoxville from a native.

You were very kind to pass that on to all of us. It just proves that if you are willing to assimilate, adjust your mindset to your new area, appreciate it just as it is, and contribute to your new neighborhood, you will probably fit in beautifully.
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Old 02-28-2008, 09:24 AM
 
2,065 posts, read 2,877,832 times
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That was certainly encouraging for me, too. I sympathize with those in the south who see a wave of people from places "up north" or from FL and feel their way of life is being changed by these new comers. Many may not realize they are doing exactly what has driven them from their original home. I see it every day in my current residence and see the undercurrent of dislike (for lack of a better term) for those that come in and ride roughshod over traditions and dramatically change a way of life, with over sized homes and a me first attitude. I think some of the resentment stems from the fact that often the "new" people in either case bring greater wealth and a certain amount of snobbishness to the table. We will make every effort NOT to be those people!!
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Old 02-28-2008, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Atlanta suburb
4,733 posts, read 6,250,614 times
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Unhappy Many times it is just the blinders that keep newcomers in the dark!

We have to remember, too, J&EM, that not everyone is privy to the C-D forum and they just arrive in ignorant bliss. (I do not mean "ignorant" in a demeaning way.)

They just do not have a clue that things may be different with values, customs, and expectations that are so unlike the place they were living before.

The perceived snobbishness and rudeness is sometimes just carrying on with life as usual and not really soaking in the local culture. They just don't care and they did not relocate for the culture.

These folks have usually moved for all of the wrong reasons. They don't move to TN because they love TN as we do. They move to take advantage of the lower cost of living, the opportunity to buy a lake front house for a fraction of what it would cost in other areas, and to escape state income taxes.

These are not uncommon desires in those relocating. But, we would hope that our new neighbors are in TN now because they love the life-style, the people, the release from the pressure cooker of other areas, and the culture of the south.

Fortunately, although we cannot choose our relatives, we can choose our friends. So, life goes on for those of us who try hard to assimilate into our new spot, and life goes on for those who are just in a new spot.
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Old 02-28-2008, 11:12 AM
 
58 posts, read 97,093 times
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Default Where have all the charming southerners gone?

Hi... Gem, I haven't been following this entire thread, but about yoru post; I so agree with you but I have to put my 2 cents in: I was soooo very sad to find out the the "south" was not in fact anything like what I expected.
I expected to drive down tree lined streets and see lovely ladies sipping mint julips on their pristine porches in pristine dresses in white wicker rockers.
How STUPID is that?? But it's true to a degree. I WANTED to see that. I WANTED to see road side stands everywhere (none in MID TN) and lots of other "southern" things. BUT: I had an ill conceived notion (either from hollywood or literture I'd read all my life) of what the south was. I was actually depressed and angry to find that it wasn't true.
Instead, I was greeted with oversized homes, rude transplants, LOUSY drivers, etc. My biggest disappointment was the TN state fair OY!!! YIKES!!
If anyone wants to see aN AMAZING state fair: GO TO SYRACUSE NY.

Anyway we first came to Middle TN where we spent a LOT of time at Shoney's. In fact this was our ENTIRE social life. There was a woman there (a regular customer with her own booth) who called herself Momma Alice or "Al". We got to know her well, and we grew to love her and so did our 2 year old. It's women like her who for me; embody the traditions and spirit of the south. She was the huggiest, sweetest, gossipingest woman I ever met in my life, and I miss her dreadfully.
For the record, we only came here b/c my husbsand's options were take a severance package or relocate... I didn't plan to come here; at least not when we did.


Quote:
Originally Posted by gemthornton View Post
We have to remember, too, J&EM, that not everyone is privy to the C-D forum and they just arrive in ignorant bliss. (I do not mean "ignorant" in a demeaning way.)

They just do not have a clue that things may be different with values, customs, and expectations that are so unlike the place they were living before.

The perceived snobbishness and rudeness is sometimes just carrying on with life as usual and not really soaking in the local culture. They just don't care and they did not relocate for the culture.

These folks have usually moved for all of the wrong reasons. They don't move to TN because they love TN as we do. They move to take advantage of the lower cost of living, the opportunity to buy a lake front house for a fraction of what it would cost in other areas, and to escape state income taxes.

These are not uncommon desires in those relocating. But, we would hope that our new neighbors are in TN now because they love the life-style, the people, the release from the pressure cooker of other areas, and the culture of the south.

Fortunately, although we cannot choose our relatives, we can choose our friends. So, life goes on for those of us who try hard to assimilate into our new spot, and life goes on for those who are just in a new spot.
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Old 02-28-2008, 12:06 PM
 
2,199 posts, read 4,803,504 times
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Default The same place the charming northerners have.

People always want the South to fulfill their vision of what they think it should be, then feel cheated and let down when it doesn't meet their expectations. That would be like me going to Manhattan and thinking I could actually afford to rent the Friends apartment on an office worker's salary. Or being able to live on Melrose Place if I were less than a millionaire. Or believing the real OC is anything like Mischa Barton's.

Those ladies sipping mint juleps in wicker chairs on the veranda really are gone with the wind. Today's steel magnolias are running the businesses that make the chairs or managing the restaurants that mix the juleps... and more power to them! And they're just as likely to be in Chicago, Boston or San Francisco as they are in Knoxville, 'Lanta or Raleigh... and their place on the porch is just as likely to be filled by less-than-charming transplants, who speak fast and drawless, drive even faster (even in the snow!) and wear Yankees ball caps that Southerners take at face value. In other words, times move on and transplants move in, and a way of life becomes a new way of life.

Charm may go a long way, but financial independence and an early retirement go a lot further. My momma taught me that before I even knew what a mint julep was. As for the rude transplants, trust me, Southerners don't like it-- or find it any more charming-- than you do. Welcome to the New South! Pull up a chair, sit down and stay awhile.
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Deane Hill, Knoxville, Tennessee
21,596 posts, read 29,637,778 times
Reputation: 11646
I talk to irate customers on the phone all the time. It's a great way to meet the worst of the worst of an area.

I've been in this business a long time, and have dealt with customers from all over the country, at one point, but since the economy went bad a couple of months ago, I have honestly felt like crying every darn day. The local people have just been brutal.

My daughter had to go to the hospital, today.

Everyone - and I mean everyone - was fantastic.

Anyone that reads a lot of my posts knows that I am pretty neurotic, especially when it comes to my daughter. But from the time I received the first phone call from the hospital, which was yesterday, I have been calm.

It has been like that all day. Great soothing, professional people that handled my daughter with kindness.

Also, I must say that the three members of her anesthesia team were, yes, Yankees, and just as wonderful as everyone else, including Heidi (!) from Iowa.

Then there was the sweet older patient in the waiting room who was bound and determined to talk to me. "Are you waiting for a little girl?" she asked, looking at the baby doll in my arms.

Sister Mary Martha came up behind my husband and me as we were admiring the hospital's original facade. She proceeded to tell us the history of the hospital, then wanted to know what brought us there. She was eyeing that baby doll, too.

I lived in Florida for 11 years, had many encounters with the medical community. The care was callous and unprofessional. We even had a woman that said she would not let us out of the hospital door unless we paid something, even $10. I tried to explain that we didn't have any money.

So one could think that maybe we are treated better now, since we have insurance. That's not the case.

I first encountered St. Mary's hospital when I had no health insurance. They took me in, correctly diagnosed me in ten minutes, while the Florida doctors could not, and worked with me on the bill.

Today I had my faith restored in Knoxville.

But I think I may need to find a new job.
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