[SFLANYSFLA]

Hello everyone. We currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Their father and i have been separated overva year and he is involved to an extent.. They go with him every other weekend and we go do things as a family once in a blue moon like movies or zoo or sports practice. We are totally amicable. However, as you all know San Francisco is extremely expensive. We do live in subsidized housing for now which I was extremely grateful for when I first got it however in my opinion it is substandard housing (many neighbors dont work etc) In 6 months I will be graduating with a degree in marriage and family therapy and in two years tops I will be a licensed marriage and family therapist. I was looking into New Jersey as that is the highest paying state for my profession however that is extremely far and now Las Vegas has came across my radar because they too have a lot of work in my field at great pay compared to the cost of living. All of the jobs here in San Francisco pay similar to Las Vegas yet the rent and home prices are astronomical. I would not be able to buy a home here unless there was a second silent involved and at the end of the day everything is way overpriced here.

Their father is financially established and has a home so he does not share my same concerns. He is thinking of buying a rental home in Las Vegas which is another reason I'm thinking it may be great for us to move there. However, even if he did not move to Vegas do you think it would be reasonable for me and my kids to move here as I would still want him involved in their life even if it came down to FaceTime every other day and the kids going with him on school holidays.

I just want my kids and i to live a life comparable to what I have worked for. Having a graduate education and a career that is decently paying yet living in subsidized housing in a city full of rich people sometimes makes it all feel like what is the point. So my thinking is if I'm able to actually live as a middle-class person, own a decent home with my own yard for christs sake, send my kids to activities like sports, and have awesome entertainment and leisure nearby we'd be set!

I was born and raised in San Francisco and I'm so over the ultra urban vibe aka homeless everywhere. I get it there are many vagabonds in LV but SFs homeless situation is over the top.

I've looked into fitness centers schools and churches already which are a huge part of our current lifestyle and vegas definitely seems to have exactly what I'm looking for.

The biggest thing is will my kids (ages 2 and 5 right now) be negatively impacted by living further away from their father? As of right now he is still two Bridges away so it's not like I can just drop them off to him at the last minute. We have a very structured schedule that we tend not to deviate from. With the current distance I'm the one that takes care of all of the school activities such as drop off and pick up and meetings with teachers excetera.

[ddrhazy]

I think you should stay put and look to buy in San Leandro or Vallejo in a few years. San Francisco is obviously expensive but other suburbs may still be doable.

[soclose]

Vegas is honestly the worst in the U.S. to raise children. You’ll hear that if you were to ask around locally. I think the education factor should come first for your kids.

[SFLANYSFLA]

I hear what everyone is saying but I've been doing research and it sounds like most parents in las vegas will admit that vegas is like any other city once you get off the strip. You have to be involved in your child's life, know their friends, etc just like anywhere. My kid is in public school and he is extremely smart but let me tell you public schools suck in a lot of places. Just because SF is an expensive city doesn't mean they've used the money to improve the public schools. California public schools overall rate very low.

I guess this forum will just be people discouraging me from moving, but of course, I will make my own decision.

My kids after school program is 350 per month, vs clark county public school after school care being $17 for the year and it runs longer. Affordable childcare is a huge factor in what jobs I can accept. As I said my ex doesn't help with the daily stuff due to the distance.

Also, Vallejo is not very affordable, especially not San Leandro. Homes run 300k+ in Vallejo, 500k+ in San Leandro for somewhat decent. Apts in Vallejo are going to be at least 1600-1800/month. Anything less than that would be extremely run down and again not the kind of life my kids should be subjected to. craigslist are showing me A LOT of very pretty apartment complexes with 3 bedrooms, central air, etc going for 900-1200 in Vegas. I'm seeing alot of decent, turn key starter homes for sale at 215k around there which is a realistic figure for me once I start working and am settled.

Funnily enough, I'm seeing more children's activities in vegas such as church functions than I do here in SF, so I'm not sure why you think its a bad idea to raise kids in vegas. I'd go to salt lake city, little rock, or any other number of cities but the distance being shortest and plethora of decent paying jobs in my field vs realistically affordable COL makes vegas my best bet so far. I'm still researching though.

[2sleepy]

It's been my experience that salaries in Nevada are not as high as in most parts of California, so you might want to double check that. If I were you, I'd stay in the subsidized housing at least until you get your license. I have a friend who's a licensed MFT and she only got paid around $14 an hour during her internship, I can't imagine how you would support yourself and your kids anywhere if you had to pay rent on a salary of less than 30k a year.

Kaiser hospital hires a lot of MFT's and they have an internship program, you might want to check their job openings in parts of California that aren't as expensive as the SF Bay area like Sacramento.

[2sleepy]

Originally Posted by SFLANYSFLA

My kids after school program is 350 per month, vs clark county public school after school care being $17 for the year and it runs longer. Affordable childcare is a huge factor in what jobs I can accept. As I said my ex doesn't help with the daily stuff due to the distance.

What program is that? CCUSD doesn't have any child care programs that I'm aware of, there is a program called safekey but they charge $10 per afternoon per child. So, for two kids that would cost you $400 a month. If you are low income it would cost less, but if you are low income then you would probably need subsidized housing in LV and I'm not sure how easy that would be to find, and if you did get subsidized housing there's a good chance it would not be in the kind of neighborhood that you are looking for.

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by SFLANYSFLA

The biggest thing is will my kids (ages 2 and 5 right now) be negatively impacted by living further away from their father?

Of course they will. Deep down, you know it's true.

I don't blame you for wanting to move. I don't think the Bay Area is family friendly for the vast majority of people. I get that you don't want your kids to live a life of disadvantage. The hard truth may be that the divorce with only a semi-attached dad may mean that ship has already sailed. There are no easy answers here. Probably beyond the scope of this thread.

What I'd like to see is that you all (including dad) move out of the Bay Area to a place like Vegas or some other more reasonably priced metro area. I know. That's probably not in the cards, but that's what would be best for the kids.

[orca17]

Originally Posted by soclose

Vegas is honestly the worst in the U.S. to raise children. You’ll hear that if you were to ask around locally. I think the education factor should come first for your kids.

This is an overgeneralization. My stepdaughter went to Clark County schools, graduated through the International Baccalaureate program, and is now in veterinary school after graduating from UNR with honors.

[yellowsnow]

Las Vegas is not an ideal place to raise kids. True! But I would pick Las Vegas any day over SFO where you can have multiple degrees and still be poor enough for subsidized housing. For now I would stay put till my education was finished and hope the EX will buy a house that you can rent when you are finished with school.

I have a friend who finished her MSW last May. She is still doing internships and is making no money here. I can tell you for sure, you need to have the job in your pocket before you move. Make good use of this time. Plan several trips out here to scope it out. One of these trips needs to be in the summer so you can see for yourself how hot it is!

[SportyandMisty]

Originally Posted by SFLANYSFLA

However, as you all know San Francisco is extremely expensive.

Wait. San Francisco is expensive???