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The last time would be around 2007. One of the guards that worked at my current job went to work for Monte Carlo. They eventually needed more and he called me later on. I sort of had an "in" so to speak. With a class 4 felony charge of burglary in 1995 the interviewer told me I would not be employable at any casino for security work. He was right. I had tried feverishly before that to get any kind of casino work(not just security) before that without ever a callback. As I documented in my previous post, I am where I am now because of foolish decisions in my past. There is nothing I can do about it.
Sounds like you seriously need to just start over in many ways. Take some serious risks and just throw yourself into the Sh**. Do something crazy, break out of the rut and feel alive again.
The reason talk is so cheap, because there's an unlimited supply of it. You need to understand the ramifications of being severely depressed, which I'm prone to as well. Check out some of the stories on the Mental Health forum, which I ascribe to.
The first strike when you fall into a depression, is your energy goes out the window. It can seem like a herculean effort just to brush your teeth, take a shower, or get out of bed. Yes, you may finally succeed in getting out of bed, you walk around your house dazed, disoriented, then back to bed you go!
Been there, done that, too many times! Being depressed is like being enveloped in the densest fog imaginable, where you can't even see a glimmer of a tailight in front of you.
I've suffered through depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life, and I'm stunned I've made it as far as I have without pulling the trigger, and some day I will, as it's the one and only reason I bought a gun!
Last edited by tijlover; 09-25-2011 at 08:42 PM..
Reason: edit
Our long time moderator Scirocco22 has left us. As I am prone to infractions, I fear who we get next as he was always fair and respectful to me. He never suspended me unlike some others (not naming names as per TOS).
The reason talk is so cheap, because there's an unlimited supply of it. You need to understand the ramifications of being severely depressed, which I'm prone to as well. Check out some of the stories on the Mental Health forum, which I ascribe to.
The first strike when you fall into a depression, is your energy goes out the window. It can seem like a herculean effort just to brush your teeth, take a shower, or get out of bed. Yes, you may finally succeed in getting out of bed, you walk around your house dazed, disoriented, then back to bed you go!
Been there, done that, too many times! Being depressed is like being enveloped in the densest fog imaginable, where you can't even see a glimmer of a tailight in front of you.
I've suffered through depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life, and I'm stunned I've made it as far as I have without pulling the trigger, and some day I will, as it's the one and only reason I bought a gun!
Been there myself...so beautifully described. In fact I uttered LVD's same sentiment about sleep, and would sleep for 22 out of the 24 hours in a day.
I remember how I used to b@tch and complain about the HOA harassing me when I had a home. That is nowhere near as bad as what I have to deal with now.
LVD-who is the HOA? Sorry to read of your apt. troubles. I hate apts. I really do. With our rowdy Pomeranian and the Chow Chow we have to rent houses, we can't rent apts. And fenced back yard
rental houses get us even more happy.
The reason talk is so cheap, because there's an unlimited supply of it. You need to understand the ramifications of being severely depressed, which I'm prone to as well. Check out some of the stories on the Mental Health forum, which I ascribe to.
The first strike when you fall into a depression, is your energy goes out the window. It can seem like a herculean effort just to brush your teeth, take a shower, or get out of bed. Yes, you may finally succeed in getting out of bed, you walk around your house dazed, disoriented, then back to bed you go!
Been there, done that, too many times! Being depressed is like being enveloped in the densest fog imaginable, where you can't even see a glimmer of a tailight in front of you.
I've suffered through depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life, and I'm stunned I've made it as far as I have without pulling the trigger, and some day I will, as it's the one and only reason I bought a gun!
Ah, the proverbial 'I've been depressed so nobody else can understand what I'm going through speech'. I don't need to read mental health forums. I've struggled with depression and worked in mental health.
The biggest problem with depression is actually believing you're depressed and thinking you need to pull yourself out of something which keeps the effect compounded and looking hopeless. Everything you describe can and will happen to many people but it only hangs around because they insist on proclaiming these symptoms as real and inescapable. Depression at its core is all about resistance. Resisting what is and consistently torturing themselves wishing things would be a different way. There is a deep bottomless peace that resides in every moment if one can simply stop resisting. The tricky part here is that you can't simply decide to stop resisting. You have to quite literally lose interest in torturing yourself needlessly and notice this is in fact what you've been doing. You have to lose the notion that you are the victim of a rogue disease who's crippling your life and ditch the poor me attitude.
Ah, the proverbial 'I've been depressed so nobody else can understand what I'm going through speech'. I don't need to read mental health forums. I've struggled with depression and worked in mental health.
The biggest problem with depression is actually believing you're depressed and thinking you need to pull yourself out of something which keeps the effect compounded and looking hopeless. Everything you describe can and will happen to many people but it only hangs around because they insist on proclaiming these symptoms as real and inescapable. Depression at its core is all about resistance. Resisting what is and consistently torturing themselves wishing things would be a different way. There is a deep bottomless peace that resides in every moment if one can simply stop resisting. The tricky part here is that you can't simply decide to stop resisting. You have to quite literally lose interest in torturing yourself needlessly and notice this is in fact what you've been doing. You have to lose the notion that you are the victim of a rogue disease who's crippling your life and ditch the poor me attitude.
I like your description...describing how depression is about resistance. I think of the teeth on the chain of a bike...the resistance needed to be able to pedal and move forward. I think it's true that getting outside of ourselves helps to move past depression, it's not easy when you are stuck. It takes a strong person to pull themselves out and find that tension and friction to move forward. I think it almost always starts with looking at your blessings. Everyone can at least be thankful they are alive...and maybe have one more day...week, or month.
I always try and have compassion for everyones unique circumstance; it seems easy to those who are on the outside looking in...not so easy for the person on the inside. I also think it's important to note that some people are clinically depressed and that chain is stripped with no teeth.
The reason talk is so cheap, because there's an unlimited supply of it. You need to understand the ramifications of being severely depressed, which I'm prone to as well. Check out some of the stories on the Mental Health forum, which I ascribe to.
The first strike when you fall into a depression, is your energy goes out the window. It can seem like a herculean effort just to brush your teeth, take a shower, or get out of bed. Yes, you may finally succeed in getting out of bed, you walk around your house dazed, disoriented, then back to bed you go!
Been there, done that, too many times! Being depressed is like being enveloped in the densest fog imaginable, where you can't even see a glimmer of a tailight in front of you.
I've suffered through depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life, and I'm stunned I've made it as far as I have without pulling the trigger, and some day I will, as it's the one and only reason I bought a gun!
One day at a time.
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As I am prone to infractions, I fear who we get next as he was always fair and respectful to me.
He never suspended me unlike some others (not naming names as per TOS).
