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Were your parents alcoholics? Makes a difference in your health. I can understand your fear of dying young of a disease because your parents did, but knowledge is powerful. You could use that knowledge to avoid the same untimely demise. Instead you let that fear eat you up and drink to avoid being proactive. Vicious cycle there. Regardless of when or what your parents life cycle was, YOU WILL die from alcoholism. Unless you choose to get help and quit. You have already said you won't so there are only two choices left...you go insane or die. Maybe both. Ick. Rehabilitation, insanity or death. Period. None of your other possible health issues even matter, if you choose to continue to drink. You must help yourself in order to receive help. Doors would open if you would believe that. Even health doors. People need to know you are serious or they don't want to waste the time and money to try to help you with a secondary disease beyond alcoholism. Sorry, but that is the way it is. There are way too many people out there with diseases that were beyond their control. Yours is not. It is self-inflicted.
That said...my sister was dx with MS about 5 years ago. She was in her 30s then. Unfortunately, my sister does nothing to help herself beyond the meds they throw at her. (and none work, in her words) It's disgusting, really. She was a social drinker before then, she is now a much heavier drinker. Quite counter-productive to her health, if you ask me. (she doesn't ask me...) She has had tons of testing (it was pretty clear in the beginning because she had optic neuritis which is a common symptom, but they spent mega time "ruling" out everything else. She lost her job, she went on COBRA for a bit, then had to purchase her own (she was getting money from SS because her husband died of pancreatic cancer when he was 27) which she did for years. She applied for disability and after about 8 months, she was approved for it. While I don't necessarily agree with that (I think she could do some work, like receptionist or such, and it would probably be good for her to get out of the house!) she did get it. THIS is why you should find out the problem. If you truly think there is something wrong you should pursue it. You said you are getting an inheritance. Use it. Go to an inpatient rehab. They will get you the help you need and you never know, you just might come out of all this alive!
Unless, of course, you have a different goal in mind. If so, do what you are doing and you will definitely reach it.
I am no longer on unemployment, so I now have zero income coming in, and I only have enough money (including the inheritance) to live on for 1.5-2 years at most. Inpatient rehab would bankrupt me within a month, and then I would be homeless. Not a good idea my friend.
I am no longer on unemployment, so I now have zero income coming in, and I only have enough money (including the inheritance) to live on for 1.5-2 years at most. Inpatient rehab would bankrupt me within a month, and then I would be homeless. Not a good idea my friend.
My older brother was one of the absolute worst alcoholics I've ever heard of. I'll spare you all the details but we tried to help him for years, everything from $1000/day (20yrs ago) private rehab to county run half way houses. Hed stay sober for 3-9 months but he always relapsed. He'd end up homeless for a couple weeks, sober up and find his way to some type of shelter and they'd end up getting him into another "program", but my point is he always found somewhere to try and get help. He was completely dysfunctional and literally spent the last 5-10yrs of his life in one program or another.
Between organizations like Catholic charities, and county run programs I cant believe there isn't a place in NV that would try to help you. Talk to every counselor and social worker you can. Get diagnosed as Bi-polar and borderline schizophrenic (which you probably really are anyways) and there are probably more options available to you. This isnt "using the system", these programs are there for people who are at the bottom of the barrel...and except for the couple bucks you've got in the bank that's you. But you cant keep getting up every morning and reaching for the bottle thinking its going to get better. You're going to wake up a year from now in worse shape and totally broke. Sitting in your room drinking and living off $3.27/ day isnt living. Coming on here and complaining about how bad things are and not doing anything to improve your situation isnt living. You said you are unemployed...your full time job should be to go out and look for help everyday until you find it. Life isnt a Disney movie, most people on this forum have had problems of one sort or another. Most people on here stood up and tried to deal with their problems. Everyone of us will be there to help you up when fall on your face (and you probably will more than once) but I dont think any of us want to watch you give up. You need to fight for your dignity as a human being or you are going to die a very depressing death. You might not make it...but I hope you will at least go down swinging.
Im not trying to beat you up over this I just needed to vent. So I'll try not to comment until you have something positive to post. good luck
LVD...listen to thecuse...he knows what he's talking about and has lived through his brother going through similar episodes. I have had private discussion with him regarding his brother and similarites with my own son. He knows, first hand, what he's talking about.
I am no longer on unemployment, so I now have zero income coming in, and I only have enough money (including the inheritance) to live on for 1.5-2 years at most. Inpatient rehab would bankrupt me within a month, and then I would be homeless. Not a good idea my friend.
I would think being bankrupt and on the path to being sober would be better than being drunk everyday, just waiting to die. At least you would be proactive and once you are out there you will find people who have leads for other opportunities. I find it hard to believe that there is nothing there to help on a limited cost basis.
thecuse is right...we WANT to see you do better, not worse!
Status:
"We might finally be thawing out!"
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Location: Des Moines, IA
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Most everyone struggles with something in life. I've hit rock bottom a couple of times myself. Looking back I often feel like my life is a string of one bad decision after another. (that's why I am overe researching my next move now!) A couple of years ago I literally thought I was done forever. But, I wasn't. I decided to fight back and get up and start living again. I have really learned from my mistakes, learned what kind of person I was and what I wanted to become. It was HARD, but I had to do it for myself. It's cliche, but what doesn't kill you will make you stronger...if you let it.
LVD, I refuse to think you don't have that little bit of fight left in you somewhere. It's buried under the miserable feelings you are going through, but it is there waiting for you to say "Ok, let's do this." I've met you and I feel like you WANT to be happy. Right now it's easier to just give up,I know that. But nothing worth having is ever easy.
Help is available, like someone else said. But the only one that can truly help you is YOU. It's up to you to come to that moment when you say "Alright, let's GO!" It will happen if you let it.
In this "grab it while you can before the building collapses" world we live in, having the best health insurance could be detrimental to your health.
If there's nothing wrong with you, any number of Dr.'s will find something wrong with you today, put you through any number of unnecessary tests, and there you are: misdiagnosed, or on medications that weren't called for.
As long as that "unlimited credit card"/insurance card is there, they'll try robbing that insurance company of everything they can get!
At 62, I've never had an MRI, Catscan, and I'm too chicken to find out what the results may be, even though my insurance covers it. Curiosity might just end up killing this cat with worries!
Like going to an auto mechanic. Fixing a minor problem would not be profitable enough for them, so they tell you need a new transmission or a valve job. And after shelling out $1,000 2 weeks ago for auto repairs, it makes you wonder!
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Hola TJLover,
I may be wrong (50/50) but you are probably a person who well into their midlife were a good 'specimen' of health. I am willing to bet your bloodline is 'longevity' laden as well.
Both sides of my family live to be ancient; genetics are at least 75%+ after age 50 and after 60 it rises to 85%+ and after 70 years old it rises to 90%.
I am NOT interested in debating 'lifestyle' choices though.
You are 'aware' of your body; so (from a youngster @age 45) unless and until you have something that 'feels' weird {you know--long-term stomach ache or 'lump' on your body or persistent "weird" symptoms or you have to get up and go to the bathroom 5+ times a night or well, you get the point}...
I like your attitude; unfortunately for at least 50% of others they have poor eating habits/lifestyle choices and behaviors/way overweight as they hit 40-50 yrs. of age and they (in my humble opinion) need that diagnostic 'push' to "change up" their lifestyle/attitude/behavior w/regards to health.
You ever get another pimpin' ferret? I am a cat guy and even trained one of my cats (back in the day) to walk on a leash.
Nowadays; I have a 'cat ramp' and cat door so they can have a 'free' life and come and go as they please.
Just 1 cat now up here on Lake Michigan (Russian Blue). I named him 'Prince Machi'--after The Prince Machiavelli.
I'll keep try to keep this short {but I will share my story} and I direct this to anyone or LVD or ???
I speak with him on the phone regularly.
I will help him after July 5th with finances. However; that is NOT the most imporantl thing for him right now.
Unfortunately, I am in Israel beginning later this week until July 4th on business with my financial partners.
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This is NOT as 'out there' as some may imagine.
Wanna know what would be great (just hear me out); if someone would allow LVD {perhaps drive him and be his friend} to check himself into a psychiatric facility (of course if he has to pay for it--there goes his life savings if he doesn't qualify for 100% assistance).
I was diagnosed with bi-polar disease and scizophrenia at the age of 14 (though both sides of family live long lives, my mother's side has at least 75%+ mental disorders and multiple suicides).
I took medication for 5 years and eventually (as I got older), after 8 hospital stays of up to 3 months in duration from age of 14-19 I came out the other side.
Alcoholism on my mom's side is 100%--every single person out of a sample of 15+ close relatives.
2 of my uncles and my older brother killed themselves before they were 35 years old.
Sorry for all the history. But I don't placate nor sugar coat anything in my life at this stage' I am adult and I know how to do things by now.
I understand what LVD is going through. He is deep into an agoraphobic stage. I once stayed in my house for 6 months without leaving; and this was as recently as 2003; I was 36 years old.
So I get it. I am old(er) now and with the help of many very good friends who are caring/smart/balanced people; I know that even when I get my depressive 'mode' periods there is a way out! It is within reach.
I am not married nor have children and have never officially lived with someone; for a fact LVD doesn't have family support system (I do and always have had that).
In my personal opinion that could change if LVD would 'reach' out. I am NOT posting to make LVD feel bad; I empathize and sympathize.
He is not alone. A quote if no one minds, eh?
Urban Cowboy (1980); a favorite movie of mine.
Uncle Bob: You know Bud; sometimes even a cowboy's gotta swallow his pride to hold on to somebody he loves.
Bud: What do you mean?
Uncle Bob: Hell I know, I pretty near lost Corrine and the kids a couple of times just 'cause of pride. You know you think that ol' pride's gonna choke you going down but I tell you what ain't a night goes by I don't thank the boss up there for giving me a big enough throat. 'Cause without Corrine and them kids hell I'd just be another pile of dog **** in the canteloupe patch just drawing flys.
Bud: I guess so.
Uncle Bob: Think about it Bud, pride's one of those seven deadlies you know what I mean?
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In summary; I want LVD to get healthy and even if he ended up spending 3-5K of his life savings on an extended 'mental-health' stay--if he kept his apt. and was able to pay bills; I'll cover him (with his trading profits) after he is 'right' and he can go step by step working with me on Skype and screen sharing in the latter part of summer and then I'll be in Vegas in Sept. and/or October of '12.
Recall, from a thread he linked to a few pages ago; I am a 27+ yr. successful investor trained from childhood by my CBOT member professional trader father and from a few pages back in this thread a friend that has hung out with LVD for 5 days a week up to 4-6 hours at a time for over a month working a 'grind method' in craps from Paris casino down to TI back in spring of '09.
Thanks for all the support everyone. One thing I am happy to say is I took the rest of my Amitriptyline pills and threw them away. They were literally making me crazy. I actually feel a little better and I can actually think straight for once. That is why I have been acting so crazy lately. My biggest concern is getting an income coming in again. I am not using my life savings for rehab or treatment of any sort. That would only come after I got my finances in order. I am not in good health and I would not even make it one day on the streets, so that is not an option. The stress of losing everything would no doubt cause me to have a heart attack.
To Hedvig: I bought that goldtraderpro and have setup two demo accounts. I will let you know how it goes.
Most everyone struggles with something in life. I've hit rock bottom a couple of times myself.
One thing a lot of people do not understand that there is usually no coming back from rock bottom. I am not referring to your rock bottom, I am referring to absolute rock bottom which means homeless with no car or money. I will go ahead and say what happened the one time that did happen. I came up here to Vegas in 1995 with only the clothes on my back. I was under the stupid assumption that someone would be more likely to help me here than Phoenix. The first night I got here some big fat guy picked me up and said he would give me a place to live and a job. I was desperate so I agreed. He then tried to come on to me sexually, and he said the job was going to be gay porn. I was only 19 and terrified, so I stole his car and went back to Phoenix. I ended up living in it for a month, until a neighbor called the police on me. Of course, I got arrested but he later dropped the charges. My neighbor who let me park outside their house took me in and let me stay there while I saved up money to get a car and money to move out (God Bless them). This situation still haunts me to this day as it still comes up on my criminal record. If it were not for my loving neighbors, I have no doubt I would either be dead or in prison by now. After this ordeal, I am sure people on here can understand why becoming homeless is absolutely not an option.
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She lost her job, she went on COBRA for a bit, then had to purchase her own (she was getting money from SS because her husband died of pancreatic cancer when he was 27) which she did for years. She applied for disability and after about 8 months, she was approved for it. While I don't necessarily agree with that (I think she could do some work, like receptionist or such, and it would probably be good for her to get out of the house!) she did get it. THIS is why you should find out the problem. If you truly think there is something wrong you should pursue it. You said you are getting an inheritance. Use it. Go to an inpatient rehab. They will get you the help you need and you never know, you just might come out of all this alive! 
And after shelling out $1,000 2 weeks ago for auto repairs, it makes you wonder!
