[jfkIII]

I agree with the respect thing...but it's really a 2-way street. Calling a guy who's house you're living in an a$$hole shows disrespect and points in the direction that you don't appreciate the sacrifice that they are making in providing you shelter, as opposed to you living homeless. You also need to respect that it is their house, their rules. Them trying to push you to take any job is for your own benefit, also. They could decide to pack and move tomorrow...and where would you be?

My guess is that they are thinking of their own future...as well as yours. They don't want to have to take care of you for the rest of their lives...and the best way to prevent that is for you to get self-sufficient. It's all up to you. Good luck.

[las vegas drunk]

Originally Posted by jfkIII

Personally, I think both you and LVD need a reality check of what is expected of family responsibility. If my wife's 45-year old brother had no job and was living with us, it would put a huge strain on our marriage...and I would equally be the a$$hole that your brother-in-law is. Similarly, if my 45-year old brother were living with us under the same conditions...I would expect my wife to be an equal a$$hole.

JFK,

I am sorry, but you are just kicking a man when he is down. Aqualung wants to work and is desperately looking for it. What is he supposed to do if no one will hire him within 3 months? I personally think family does have a responsibility to help, so I differ with you here. My own family let me fall all the way down to being homeless. Maybe that is why I refuse to talk them ever again.

[jfkIII]

Just curious...why do you fell that Aqua's (and your own) family have a responsibility to take care of you older gentlemen?

[jfkIII]

My intent is not to "kick a man while he is down"...but rather to give the same advice that others are trying to impart. Granted, I don't tie ribbons and bows around it...but it is the same advice that other's are giving.

[las vegas drunk]

Both my parents have passed away, but I still have my sister (who refused to take me in when I needed it). To me, family is blood, and should help out other family members as needed. My own father kicked me out in the middle of summer when it was 115 degrees outside and I DID have a job. I swore that I would not be like him.

[tazz]

Originally Posted by aqualung8705

There marriage isn't the best of things, even w/o me. I wouldn't be like that, no matter what. I believe that all people deserve respect, unless they prove otherwise. I guess that just makes us different.

Respect is not automatic. It is earned.

While you are at their house you need to work to earn their respect. They are working to provide shelter for you. You should be working at their house several hours a day doing ALL the dusting, vacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, laundry etc.

A place to stay, room, board, utilities is worth about $20 a night. At minimum wages that's about 2 1/2 hours of work you owe them EVERY DAY.

If they came home to a spotless house they would respect the hell out of you.

[jfkIII]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

Both my parents have passed away, but I still have my sister (who refused to take me in when I needed it). To me, family is blood, and should help out other family members as needed. My own father kicked me out in the middle of summer when it was 115 degrees outside and I DID have a job. I swore that I would not be like him.

My family is... #1: my wife; #2: my/her children, #3: my father. After that, it's everyone else. Brother, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins are the same as anyone else. If they can't help themselves, I sure as hell can't help them.

The "blood" thing doesn't work for me....I did not ask to be born...and I didn't ask my parents to have my brother and sisters...so why should I be their responsibility....or they mine???? So, purely by the "luck of the draw"...if a family is stuck with an unfortunate sibling...they are all responsible???? It just doesn't make sense to me.

[jfkIII]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

JFK,

I am sorry, but you are just kicking a man when he is down. Aqualung wants to work and is desperately looking for it. What is he supposed to do if no one will hire him within 3 months? I personally think family does have a responsibility to help, so I differ with you here. My own family let me fall all the way down to being homeless. Maybe that is why I refuse to talk them ever again.

Let's talk about responsibility...if you want to live with someone, YOU have a responsibility to get off (and stay off) the booze. Aqua has a responsibility to work and/or help out with chores. Why you might expect a free ride...is truly beyond my comprehension.

[tazz]

Originally Posted by las vegas drunk

Both my parents have passed away, but I still have my sister (who refused to take me in when I needed it). To me, family is blood, and should help out other family members as needed. My own father kicked me out in the middle of summer when it was 115 degrees outside and I DID have a job. I swore that I would not be like him.

Your sister's tough love has benefitted you. You are successfully on your own.

[aqualung8705]

I am doing chores, and I have an EBT card, so I provide for my own food.

It's hard for me to respect him when he constantly calls me names like "oompa loompa", and a liar, and that he doesn't believe me in anything that I say. I have a medical condition that can cause me to be ripe, so he enjoys belittling me for that, and says that no hotel (I have 12 years of experience) will EVER hire me. I also can't stand it when he mockingly calls me "son." If I try to stand up for myself, he gets angry like he's going to attack me, and says, "Don't get snippy with me, ****."

I'm seriously thinking about cutting all ties with them when I leave.