Stay-at-Home-Dads in the Lehigh Valley? (Emmaus, Macungie: school, live in, gym)

[SketchBoy]

My wife and I just recently relocated to the Lehigh Valley from the Seattle area, because my wife was offered a sweet job. We're really enjoying it here.

I'm a part-time graphic designer and now (by choice, not necessity) a full time stay-at-home-dad to our amazing 10 month old son. I love it so much!

Now that he's 10 months old and getting so mobile, I really want to get out and find opportunities for my son to socialize and play. I am, however, having a really hard time finding local stay-at-home-parent groups that will allow men.

(The leader of one mom's group told me I could join last week, then she quit the group and the new leader told me they want to stay "mom's only" now. D'oh! I'll try not to take that personally. )

Anyhow, does anyone have any recommendations? Know of any co-ed or dad groups? Know a similarly isolated SAHD who might be interested in forming a group? Know of any places I could take my son so he can socialize and play with others his age, where I can maybe meet other parents (adult conversation is missed) without looking/being treated like a creep?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[vapama]

Welcome to the area, Sketchboy. You are not alone!!! And you have GOT to get out of the house. I moved here when I had a little one so I can sympathize.

Not sure exactly where you live in the valley--why would you feel ike a creep? I have seen/met SAHD at almost all of the outings I regularly go on with my little ones--I don't view any of them as creeps. I would not be creeped out if a SAHD with a child about my age asked for my contact info for a playdate.

Here is what I would do if I were in your situation.
I am not sure if you checked with MOMS Club wherever you live--I think it is up to each chapter to decide whether to accept SAHD.
Free outings: library storytimes, Barnes and Noble storytimes
Pay for classes: Gymboree, Kindermusik, swimming, Music Together, Beth or Han Township community center, the Nature Conservancy place in Emmaus--honestly your kid is kinda young to be throwing money into all these classes, but the township centers have "playgroup classes" that are for that age.
Check online at meetup.com to see if there is a SAHD group or better yet, start your own.

I think once you start joining classes, you just have to be social and exchange contact info with the SAHD you meet. Be brave, good luck, and you are welcome to PM if you have more questions.

[SketchBoy]

Hi Vapama, thanks for your response. We live in the Upper Macungie area.

It's actually really common for guys to be made to feel like creeps if they're out with their child alone. It is very rare anyone actually says anything outright, but there is definitely a vibe change that is different when I'm somewhere with my son AND my wife, versus when it's just me and him. It's not even necessarily a "oh man I wonder if that guy is a molester" so much as "I bet he just came here to use his kid to pick up women", as if my son were a cute puppy I only walk in hopes someone will stop and pet him. I imagine it's worse if you're a man with a little girl.

I should say that's not actually something I'm worried about, and the truth is I most people are like you and quite used to seeing SAHDs nowadays. In the park or at Gymboree and such, at least. Organized playgroups are a harder nut to crack, since they're often, for many women, legitimately a much treasured chance for socializing with other ladies, and a man's presence almost invariably changes that sort of thing.

Anyhow, you give several good ideas. Thanks!

[toobusytoday]

We've got some Dad's that come into the library where I work and I really don't think we treat them any differently. They are certainly as welcome at any of the programs as a parent or grandparent would be. Libraries are a great place to make friends through your kids.

[SketchBoy]

Yeah, I've been thinking about checking out some library storytimes soon. I feel like my son is still a little young to enjoy them, but he won't be for long! Seriously, 10 months ago feels like last month.

[vapama]

In Macungie--gotta do Music Together with Miss Amity--your kid is not too little for that. And there is/was something at the Macungie Institute like an organized playgroup (paid) during the school year. Little Gym is near you too.

And get that whole creep thing outta your mind--I am with SAHM all the time and we have never, not once, discussed that--I have not even once THOUGHT that, I swear. I think if may be less awkward for you once your kid starts talking too. But just smile, ask how old is your kid, we just moved from Seattle, where do you recommend for <whatever>? People love being experts--this board is full of them!

In general, I think SAHD have it much much harder than SAHM because of the lack of support and loss of work identity. Gotta find your tribe. Again, good luck!