Good ol' Long Island... (New York, Smithtown: weddings, buy, high school)

[jfkIII]

I ventured onto Long Island this weekend to attend a wedding. The reception was at a well-known catering factory in Smithtown. Nice place.

Anyway, the wait person assigned to our table was very attentive and my wife (upstate native) and I politely said thank you whenever she served us. As it came to the end of the event and we started to leave, she was finishing the cleaning process at our table and we acknowledged her and said 'thanks' one more time as we grabbed our belongings.

She then surprised us by asking us if we were from around there? I explained that I grew up there but left in 1988 and that we were from upstate. I then asked why she had asked and she responded that we were so nice and polite and she 'knew we weren't from LI because we had acknowledged her service with a thank you'.

Sad observation.

[GypsySoul22]

I've lived here almost my whole life and I ALWAYS say thank you to servers, bus-boys who bring water, whatever..

Yes, we have some nice people here (even if we are too broke to afford much). Good manners cost nothing.

[GCGuy]

Me too and everyone I know does the same. Please stop with the crap posts.

[4StanleyCups]

Originally Posted by GypsySoul22

I've lived here almost my whole life and I ALWAYS say thank you to servers, bus-boys who bring water, whatever..

Ditto.

Not every LI'er is rude, just like not every guy who rides the subway at night is a mugger.

[Glad2BHere]

Originally Posted by GCGuy

Me too and everyone I know does the same. Please stop with the crap posts.

Oh GCguy, I was thinking the same thing. Thanks for saying it. There are nice and rude people in every state. I say thank you (too much I am sure!) to those I deal with in public service positions. No matter WHERE I go, or what state I am in. And I don't get treated nicely half as much back, no matter where I am.

Originally Posted by jfkIII

She then surprised us by asking us if we were from around there? I explained that I grew up there but left in 1988 and that we were from upstate. I then asked why she had asked and she responded that we were so nice and polite and she 'knew we weren't from LI because we had acknowledged her service with a thank you'.

Sad observation.

Maybe she asked if the OP was not from LI b/c of another reason...Could it be she was expecting a tip, not just a verbal thank you? B/c often at our big LI weddings, wedding guests do sometimes tip the waitstaff if they serve them a lot of drinks, etc, to say a special thank you for doing your job well. A $ TIP IS THE THANK YOU. Not saying ALL people tip at weddings, but many people do. I have worked in waiting tables at parties, events, etc, so I know firsthand.

I can just picture being that waitress, hearing how good I did all night, being thanked and knowing they were satisfied with me, all excited...waiting for a possible tip from the table at the end of the wedding...then getting nothing but another verbal thank you. I would then be confused...like "They think I did good, are going out of their way to TELL me, but don't give me a tip? They must be from out of state or out of town. Let me ask them. Oh, just as I expected, they are not from here." And that is why she asked IMO.

[GCGuy]

Originally Posted by Glad2bhere

Oh GCguy, I was thinking the same thing. Thanks for saying it. There are nice and rude people in every state. I say thank you (too much I am sure!) to those I deal with in public service positions. No matter WHERE I go, or what state I am in. And I don't get treated nicely half as much back, no matter where I am.


Maybe she asked if the OP was not from LI b/c of another reason...Could it be she was expecting a tip, not just a verbal thank you? B/c often at our big LI weddings, wedding guests do sometimes tip the waitstaff if they serve them a lot of drinks, etc, to say a special thank you for doing your job well. A $ TIP IS THE THANK YOU. Not saying ALL people tip at weddings, but many people, esp if ordering drinks ALOT, do tip the table waiters. I have worked in waiting tables at parties, events, etc, so I know firsthand.

I can just picture being that waitress, hearing how good I did all night, being thanked and knowing they were satisfied with me, all excited...waiting for a possible tip from the table at the end of the wedding...then getting nothing but another verbal thank you. I would then be confused...like "They think I did good, are going out of their way to TELL me, but don't give me a tip? They must be from out of state or out of town. Let me ask them. Oh, just as I expected, they are not from here." And that is why she asked IMO.

Good call. That's a pretty good thought. We tip for exceptional service. My wife worked at a hall when she was younger and loved getting tipped.

Well, everywhere outside of the NY metro doesn't really know how to throw a party. Even in Philly, we went to a wedding...fairly pathetic. Maybe we're over the top here, but what the hell. People have a good time.

[Glad2BHere]

Originally Posted by GCGuy

Even in Philly, we went to a wedding...fairly pathetic. Maybe we're over the top here, but what the hell. People have a good time.

I went to a wedding in Philly once too. It was pretty cheesy to be honest and I always recalled all the actual gifts, as opposed to envelopes with cash.

Another difference b/w weddings here in NY/LI, and out of state weddings.

[lifetimeliguy]

Originally Posted by jfkIII

I ventured onto Long Island this weekend to attend a wedding. The reception was at a well-known catering factory in Smithtown. Nice place.

Anyway, the wait person assigned to our table was very attentive and my wife (upstate native) and I politely said thank you whenever she served us. As it came to the end of the event and we started to leave, she was finishing the cleaning process at our table and we acknowledged her and said 'thanks' one more time as we grabbed our belongings.

She then surprised us by asking us if we were from around there? I explained that I grew up there but left in 1988 and that we were from upstate. I then asked why she had asked and she responded that we were so nice and polite and she 'knew we weren't from LI because we had acknowledged her service with a thank you'.

Sad observation.

If you travel around the US you may find that people from LI and NYC are among the friendliest and most helpful in the country. Perhaps some people have problems with the "realness" quality of metro New Yorkers.
Move to a small town in rural New England, the southeast or out west (where many easterners are told they don't belong on "this side of the Mississippi") and see how many real friends you have ten years later.
Yes, people drive insanely here and it's a rat race every day - but for some reason I'm proud to say I live on Long Island.
I agree with GC Guy.

[4StanleyCups]

Originally Posted by lifetimeliguy

Yes, people drive insanely here and it's a rat race every day - but for some reason I'm proud to say I live on Long Island.

Me too.

About the driving, back when I took drivers' ed in high school 40 years ago (!!) the first time it was my turn behind the wheel my teacher said "You drive like a New York City cabbie" and I considered that to be a compliment! LOL

If you can drive in NYC and on LI you can drive anywhere. Once on vacation I drove a car in Rome and it didn't faze me at all. No guts, no glory!

As for regional politeness, I definitely don't buy into that whole "polite Southerners" schtick. I've been in the south many times during my life and there were just as many rude arrogant people on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line as here on LI any day.

[lynn995]

I was born and raised on LI and have always said thank you. My son is 2 and already says "please" and "thank you". You can't judge an entire island on the basis of one catering hall worker who was buttering you up for a tip.