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Old 09-06-2011, 12:08 PM
 
46 posts, read 52,872 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by twingles View Post
Your dog poops to the point that it's falling off your balcony and your neighbor is the one with the problem? ooookay.

Don't go to FL - if you don't like NC you won't like FL.
im not saying that what my dog did is right, my point is this person is not a stranger, i think he could've addressed the issue to me and i would've taken care of it, again this guys kids play with my kids in his house, and i talk to the guy once in a while, plus i see him on a daily basis...
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Old 09-06-2011, 03:02 PM
 
1,749 posts, read 1,931,809 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycguy26 View Post
yes that is very true, cary is just a big shopping mall if you think about it, there building shops everywhere, dont get me wrong is very nice area and things are fairly close but there's something missing, it feels too corporate to me, i miss the real mom and pop shops from LI, where if your short a few cents or a buck on something they always tell u; pay me back later....
Well, I wouldn't say this on the NC forum but I tend to agree with you about Cary. Great place to raise a family but not a whole lot of history or personality. A town of 140,000 people sprung up where there was next to nothing, not all that many years ago.

If for some reason you can't get back to LI, I would suggest checking out some of the older areas of Raleigh. Go for a drive around the back streets of North Raleigh in places like North Hills - I was there on the weekend and was surprised at how similar it was to LI.

A lot of NY'ers choose Cary because they are looking for a different lifestyle to Long Island - more space, bigger house, slower pace, etc. I think if you are trying to replicate your LI lifestyle then North Raleigh would be the closest. You made a very smart choice by renting first.
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Old 09-07-2011, 10:33 PM
 
149 posts, read 156,441 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyKid View Post
It's very true and such a slippery slope - perception I mean. Once you start down the speed jumps up dramatically and can consume you completely.

I do wonder on the "misinformed" part and how it plays into that perception. It is something that often comes up when one considers an alternative as necessary. The choice wasn't really a choice because of the reality of a job loss... which is extremely unfortunate. That's going to leave a bad taste in one's mouth about an area regardless.
In fact it was a choice, my husband wanted to commute and I wanted to move. My children were receiving an inferior education ( Trust me on that one, I Know of several families that have moved back to NY) our children were all at least one and half years behind.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Union County
5,074 posts, read 4,756,925 times
Reputation: 3672
Quote:
Originally Posted by forevaNYka View Post
In fact it was a choice, my husband wanted to commute and I wanted to move. My children were receiving an inferior education ( Trust me on that one, I Know of several families that have moved back to NY) our children were all at least one and half years behind.
I guess I have to trust you... although I have no idea how you can make a quantitative analysis to that degree. The curriculum doesn't line up like that.

Either way, choosing an apartment in Jersey over a SFH means you were serious for sure. For the folks moving back to NY that you mention, I've had this debate before and I believe the perception impacts the decision making.

My sister just made the move up from teacher to asst principal on LI. When I talk to her, she tells me in no uncertain terms that the quality of the education is being gutted because they are completely out of money... Cuts, cuts, cuts and they still can't pay the bills without increasing property taxes. It's a vicious cycle that is getting worse every year with no relief in sight.

So you look at a 1st grader and think they're "at least one and half years behind". I look at it as "what will the state of that school district be in 10 years when that kid is in High School"? Time doesn't freeze and past performance never has and never will guarantee the future.
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Old 09-08-2011, 10:57 AM
 
149 posts, read 156,441 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyKid View Post
I guess I have to trust you... although I have no idea how you can make a quantitative analysis to that degree. The curriculum doesn't line up like that.

Either way, choosing an apartment in Jersey over a SFH means you were serious for sure. For the folks moving back to NY that you mention, I've had this debate before and I believe the perception impacts the decision making.

My sister just made the move up from teacher to asst principal on LI. When I talk to her, she tells me in no uncertain terms that the quality of the education is being gutted because they are completely out of money... Cuts, cuts, cuts and they still can't pay the bills without increasing property taxes. It's a vicious cycle that is getting worse every year with no relief in sight.

So you look at a 1st grader and think they're "at least one and half years behind". I look at it as "what will the state of that school district be in 10 years when that kid is in High School"? Time doesn't freeze and past performance never has and never will guarantee the future.

We own a townhome in a very nice area, single family home in Bumb NC..just didn't do it for me- sorry. My husband would have stayed and loved it as most men seem to for some reason..

As far as the schools, I'm not sure of your childrens ages, I feel I have something to compare it to being my children attended early elementary school on LI. I too thought when we moved to NC that the schools would be on par with LI especially with such exceptional ratings. Well after three years there and always feeling as if they weren't learning what they should be...my feelings were confirmed by my childrens new teachers when we moved back. The straight A's they were receieving in NC were a joke. When we moved back to find there were serious elements that were lacking in their education. My then forth grader was learning what my then 6th grader never learned once we moved back. Friends of ours son was in advanced math in NC and when they moved back to LI...their son was put in regular math classes in need of extra help. So not sure what kind of explanation there is for that...

So in the end you will have your opinion and I will have mine. I hope whether kids attend NC, NY or NJ schools that they benefit from their educations and become happy, productive adults. )))
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Old 09-08-2011, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Wallens Ridge
3,131 posts, read 2,425,168 times
Reputation: 17201
Quote:
Originally Posted by forevaNYka View Post
We own a townhome in a very nice area, single family home in Bumb NC..just didn't do it for me- sorry. My husband would have stayed and loved it as most men seem to for some reason..

As far as the schools, I'm not sure of your childrens ages, I feel I have something to compare it to being my children attended early elementary school on LI. I too thought when we moved to NC that the schools would be on par with LI especially with such exceptional ratings. Well after three years there and always feeling as if they weren't learning what they should be...my feelings were confirmed by my childrens new teachers when we moved back. The straight A's they were receieving in NC were a joke. When we moved back to find there were serious elements that were lacking in their education. My then forth grader was learning what my then 6th grader never learned once we moved back. Friends of ours son was in advanced math in NC and when they moved back to LI...their son was put in regular math classes in need of extra help. So not sure what kind of explanation there is for that...

So in the end you will have your opinion and I will have mine. I hope whether kids attend NC, NY or NJ schools that they benefit from their educations and become happy, productive adults. )))
Are you sure about your L.I. education I don't want to play grammar police here but receieving is spelled receiving and childrens is children's.

Ahh I'm just playing with you I'm glad to see things are workingout for you
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Union County
5,074 posts, read 4,756,925 times
Reputation: 3672
Quote:
Originally Posted by forevaNYka View Post
We own a townhome in a very nice area, single family home in Bumb NC..just didn't do it for me- sorry. My husband would have stayed and loved it as most men seem to for some reason..

As far as the schools, I'm not sure of your childrens ages, I feel I have something to compare it to being my children attended early elementary school on LI. I too thought when we moved to NC that the schools would be on par with LI especially with such exceptional ratings. Well after three years there and always feeling as if they weren't learning what they should be...my feelings were confirmed by my childrens new teachers when we moved back. The straight A's they were receieving in NC were a joke. When we moved back to find there were serious elements that were lacking in their education. My then forth grader was learning what my then 6th grader never learned once we moved back. Friends of ours son was in advanced math in NC and when they moved back to LI...their son was put in regular math classes in need of extra help. So not sure what kind of explanation there is for that...

So in the end you will have your opinion and I will have mine. I hope whether kids attend NC, NY or NJ schools that they benefit from their educations and become happy, productive adults. )))
Happy wife = happy life... I don't think that's ever been not true as far I can tell. So if you're happy, then your husband will be. I think what the men may like more about the "lifestyle" is that it is more of the traditional child rearing that they grew up with - kids freely running / biking all over the neighborhood being kids, sports/afterschool activities and being able to be home early enough to participate with them. Vacations. That type of thing. The stuff that suffers when you're in the rat race leaving at sun up and getting home after sun down.

I can't speak to the school comparison you suggest here because my kids are younger, but I think you make very valid points that anyone should consider when researching a move. We all hope in the end that our kids become happy, productive adults - but honestly in the end I think that's more the overall responsibility of the parents then the school system. I don't think anyone can argue with the quality of the college education in NC. You wouldn't think that was possible reading how bad you make the Elem schools seem.
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Old 09-08-2011, 08:33 PM
 
149 posts, read 156,441 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyKid View Post
Happy wife = happy life... I don't think that's ever been not true as far I can tell. So if you're happy, then your husband will be. I think what the men may like more about the "lifestyle" is that it is more of the traditional child rearing that they grew up with - kids freely running / biking all over the neighborhood being kids, sports/afterschool activities and being able to be home early enough to participate with them. Vacations. That type of thing. The stuff that suffers when you're in the rat race leaving at sun up and getting home after sun down.

I can't speak to the school comparison you suggest here because my kids are younger, but I think you make very valid points that anyone should consider when researching a move. We all hope in the end that our kids become happy, productive adults - but honestly in the end I think that's more the overall responsibility of the parents then the school system. I don't think anyone can argue with the quality of the college education in NC. You wouldn't think that was possible reading how bad you make the Elem schools seem.
OK...I'm glad you mentioned college in NC. Yes, they are good schools but when we were leaving NC I met two woman while getting boxes for the move. One was crying from NJ that she wanted to leave...that's another post. The other was married to a professor at the college. I was told her husband said it's sinful that he receives papers without proper sentances being formed..etc. I could go on and on but why..I'm happy now and hubby has learned after alomst 18 years of marriage...happy wife..happy life )

Big mike- lol I didn't spell check or re read my post. So being the worst speller in Smithtown West...I didn't do so bad-lol Thanks )
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Old 09-09-2011, 05:17 AM
 
1,749 posts, read 1,931,809 times
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IMO the whole education thing is way overblown. You will hear a lot of anecdotal evidence but if you look at the statistics, they are really pretty close. Of course, results will vary by school district - clearly NC and NY both have some very good and some not so good districts.

North Carolina, U.S. (average)
Scale Score, Grade 4 Math 244 239
Scale Score, Grade 8 Math 284 282
Scale Score, Grade 4 Reading 218 220
Scale Score, Grade 8 Reading 259 261
Scale Score, Grade 4 Writing 159 153
Scale Score, Grade 8 Writing 153 154

New York, U.S. (average)
Scale Score, Grade 4 Math 241 239
Scale Score, Grade 8 Math 283 282
Scale Score, Grade 4 Reading 224 220
Scale Score, Grade 8 Reading 264 261
Scale Score, Grade 4 Writing 163 153
Scale Score, Grade 8 Writing 154 154

source: National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) Home Page, a part of the U.S. Department of Education
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:15 AM
 
2,630 posts, read 2,108,640 times
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Sounds like alot of whiny "grass is always greener" BS. I've lived all over and no one can or should make a total judgment on a place until they have lived there at least 1 full year and maybe 2. It takes that long or more to find decent people, a good barber shop, a comfortable place to eat where you feel like regulars. Most places we "fall in love with" at first then the honeymoon ends. That's when it's time to face reality.

I have been on LI over 8 years now. It is one of my least favorite places to live. Austin, Boston and Brooklyn were #s 1,2 and 3. San Fran was the worst. Each time I was "in love", then it got tired and bothersome ("depressed, watching TV, etc") and somewhere down the line I realized I had alot to do, new people, responsibilities, obligations, hobbies, chores and suddenly I realized, this is home.

It NEVER happens in less than 1 year especially after a big geographical change.

Oh, and I don't feel comfortable having a guy visit my wife for coffee after I leave for work. Call me insecure and crazy...me and a gazillion other guys.

Good luck whatever you do. Give it some time. LI aint the wonderland your selective memory might tell you it is.
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