Fwd- How to become an illegal (Burlington: fit in, car insurance, school)

[Glad2BHere]

Just wanted to share this email I got with some of you...I am sure many of you may have gotten it already or will be getting it from a friend soon.


>>Subject: To Become An Illegal Alien??
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>>
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>>An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator:
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>>The Honorable Tom Harkin
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>>731 Hart Senate Office Building
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>>Phone (202) 224 3254
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>>Washington DC, 20510
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>>Dear Senator Harkin,
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>>As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
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>>Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
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>>the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine
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>>the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
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>>My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
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>>Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
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>>passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of
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>>this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been
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>>in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a
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>>citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the
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>>last five years.
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>>I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the
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>>process started before everyone figures it out.
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>>Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to
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>>pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
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>>two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any
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>>way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield
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>>an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes
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>>in 2004 and 2005.
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>>Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
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>>emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have
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>>stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures
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>>I could save almost $10,000 a year.
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>>Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
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>>daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law
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>>school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many
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>>colleges throughout the United States for my son.
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>>Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the
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>>burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome
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>>car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I
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>>still have college age children driving my car.
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>>If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
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>>illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary
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>>forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
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>>Your Loyal Constituent,
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>>Donald Ruppert
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>>Burlington, IA
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>>Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!
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>>
>>
>

[GCGuy]

Man, I love this letter. I was just talking about this last week. Brilliant and so terribly true.

[NY62]

F***ing A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Glad2BHere]

Originally Posted by GCGuy

Man, I love this letter. I was just talking about this last week. Brilliant and so terribly true.

I knew you would

I do too.

[jfkIII]

Oh my....that is good!

[lenfish]

sad but true sign me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[snforstuff]

too funny, but true!

[VTP]

I'm so glad you posted this, Glad. I loved it so much when I got it a few months ago, read it over and over and just kept laughing. Sort of forgot about it, so I'm glad you revived it for us. My favorite is the query about the possibility of "becoming illegal retroactively." Genius!