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Old 09-15-2007, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Wantagh NY
690 posts, read 893,441 times
Reputation: 142

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Hi all,
Been visiting here a lot lately and decided to make a post I should also note that I have been researching this to death!

I live in Wantagh and I am considering a move to Lancaster PA. However like any major move, there is issues I am going to give some info with the hope you could say what you would do if you were in my shoes...

I am married with 2 girls ages 3 and 7 and they are home schooled. (No ties to friends or a school)
I work in Customer Service as a manager and my wife works as a RN at LIJ part time.
We purchased our house 8 years ago (probably the best move I ever did!) I did not have much to put down but wanted to "get in". My wife comes from an abnormally close knit family. I have one sister here who I see on occasion (not close) and my father lives on the island of Jamaica.

OK with that said, we are doing OK here...we have no dept at all except our mortgage and my truck payment which will be done in December. That means NO CC bills! I currently have a 20 mortgage at 5.75% fixed and I am into it by 5 years. When all is said and done however, we just can't seem to SAVE anything at the end of the month. Refinancing from a 20 to a 30 yr saves us $300 a month...not worth it IMHO. The next issue is our home. We have a rental upstairs (a very good friend of mine) so that leaves us with the first floor - 2 bedrooms, kitchen, living room... at 1500 square feet. WAY...WAY to small for us! We can't afford to take over upstairs and loose the income to gain the much needed room and bathroom! (which needs to be replaced) So we have been thinking of moving to PA (We have been visiting there for the past 3 years and LOVE it there) Slower way of life, great people, clean air, less breast cancer less congestion, much better cost of living ...well you get the idea. We like it here BUT we NEVER go to the city. Never go to the beach as we hate the sand (We are pool people and our current home can't even have a pool due to power lines and the way it is situated!!!) Heck, I am even tired of Pizza!

So, we are looking at a new or near home there in Lancaster (under 5 years old) with 2500 to 3000 sq ft with taxes 5K or under in one of the most if not thee most desirable areas of the county. Pricing my home aggressively (As I know the market!) I will carry a 50K mortgage there on the new home. (Yup...almost the same as a nice truck loan!) My job informed me yesterday that I could work from home there in PA and loose only 3K off my salary (Give up being a mgr and all the headaches!) My wife however will take a pay cut but after all is said and done, we will be able to BANK close to 1K a month and be into a MUCH larger home that has less problems. (My house is 56 years old now)
My kids want to move.
I want to move!
My wife wants to move EXCEPT...and here is the BIG one...she has family here that is trying to convince her to stay with some of the best guilt I have ever heard! Comments like you are taking my grand children away or we will NEVER see you again and all you want is material things is said all the time. They are even telling these things to my girls! My wife feels that she will miss them but that she can come and visit (3 1/2 drive) and spend the night at their house. My wife is really in the middle here and she is feeling it both physically and mentally. I don't get along with her family...I mean we are civil and they come over for BBQ's but they are nothing more than "my wifes family" and I respect that...that is all! I don't look at them as they are all that bright...Oh and they really don't like me either

What would YOU do if you were in my/our shoes?
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Old 09-15-2007, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Clayton, NC
242 posts, read 1,063,825 times
Reputation: 123
I would say you aren't moving all that far away and no reason you cant visit family quite often. It's not like it was years ago in any respect and it's never too early to plan or worry about your future/retirement and the need to be able to save/invest money as opposed to just surviving, etc. I would say you really have to do what's best for you and your wife and children. Family loyalty is noble, but in the end you really need to do whats best for yourselves. This is why we are trying to make a move ourselves off Long Island. In our case, my wife's children are all over 21 now, so we even have to consider the fact they will not come and we have to leave them behind (which has been hard for my wife), but we know we can't have a retirement here (I am 43 and she is 45), so we really have to do something now.

Good luck on whatever you and your wife decide.
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Old 09-15-2007, 12:38 PM
 
991 posts, read 4,151,830 times
Reputation: 288
Do what is good for you and the children and your wife, I did the same thing when my Mom was sick I could have moved to Lancaster also, instead I stayed here for my parents, gave up a great job for my husband, took care of Mom until she passed away, six months later Dad hooked up with some woman he met at work and moved to Fla. Here I am I cannot sell my house and just making it. Good Luck please consider your family first.
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Old 09-15-2007, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,217 posts, read 4,112,847 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleanmaxx Brian View Post
Hi all,
Been visiting here a lot lately and decided to make a post I should also note that I have been researching this to death!

I live in Wantagh and I am considering a move to Lancaster PA. However like any major move, there is issues I am going to give some info with the hope you could say what you would do if you were in my shoes...

I am married with 2 girls ages 3 and 7 and they are home schooled. (No ties to friends or a school)
I work in Customer Service as a manager and my wife works as a RN at LIJ part time.
We purchased our house 8 years ago (probably the best move I ever did!) I did not have much to put down but wanted to "get in". My wife comes from an abnormally close knit family. I have one sister here who I see on occasion (not close) and my father lives on the island of Jamaica.

OK with that said, we are doing OK here...we have no dept at all except our mortgage and my truck payment which will be done in December. That means NO CC bills! I currently have a 20 mortgage at 5.75% fixed and I am into it by 5 years. When all is said and done however, we just can't seem to SAVE anything at the end of the month. Refinancing from a 20 to a 30 yr saves us $300 a month...not worth it IMHO. The next issue is our home. We have a rental upstairs (a very good friend of mine) so that leaves us with the first floor - 2 bedrooms, kitchen, living room... at 1500 square feet. WAY...WAY to small for us! We can't afford to take over upstairs and loose the income to gain the much needed room and bathroom! (which needs to be replaced) So we have been thinking of moving to PA (We have been visiting there for the past 3 years and LOVE it there) Slower way of life, great people, clean air, less breast cancer less congestion, much better cost of living ...well you get the idea. We like it here BUT we NEVER go to the city. Never go to the beach as we hate the sand (We are pool people and our current home can't even have a pool due to power lines and the way it is situated!!!) Heck, I am even tired of Pizza!

So, we are looking at a new or near home there in Lancaster (under 5 years old) with 2500 to 3000 sq ft with taxes 5K or under in one of the most if not thee most desirable areas of the county. Pricing my home aggressively (As I know the market!) I will carry a 50K mortgage there on the new home. (Yup...almost the same as a nice truck loan!) My job informed me yesterday that I could work from home there in PA and loose only 3K off my salary (Give up being a mgr and all the headaches!) My wife however will take a pay cut but after all is said and done, we will be able to BANK close to 1K a month and be into a MUCH larger home that has less problems. (My house is 56 years old now)
My kids want to move.
I want to move!
My wife wants to move EXCEPT...and here is the BIG one...she has family here that is trying to convince her to stay with some of the best guilt I have ever heard! Comments like you are taking my grand children away or we will NEVER see you again and all you want is material things is said all the time. They are even telling these things to my girls! My wife feels that she will miss them but that she can come and visit (3 1/2 drive) and spend the night at their house. My wife is really in the middle here and she is feeling it both physically and mentally. I don't get along with her family...I mean we are civil and they come over for BBQ's but they are nothing more than "my wifes family" and I respect that...that is all! I don't look at them as they are all that bright...Oh and they really don't like me either

What would YOU do if you were in my/our shoes?

I would move.. LOL. Listen.. YOU GUYS HAVE TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!! Period.. they come first. AND.. if you can't save, then how will your children go to college unless they get full scholarships. I'm sure you've seen my posts (and i'm looking at Lancaster too). I am so in a different situation .. you're lucky you bought BEFORE the boom and CAN get out with some equity.. so take it and RUN>>>LOL

Listen.. about the family. PA is NOT that far away. AND your inlaws will have an excuse to visit a beautiful place and spend lovely bbq's in your much larger, much more affordable big home. They need to be made to understand that this is for your children and NOT to get away from them and NOT to hurt anyone but tomake your lives better.

And.. who knows.. maybe the rest of the family will see how beautiful you have it OUTSIDE of LI that they will follow you!

BTW.. my mom moved to Montana (where her side of the family is) after my father died.. she did it because she knew that LI was getting more and more unaffordable and didn't want to be worried about finances.. So. PA to NY.. not very far at the end of the day.

DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDRENS FINANCIAL FUTURE AND IF YOUR INLAWS DON'T LET YOU DO THAT.. IN MY OPINION THEY ARE BEING SELFISH!!

Good luck.. I will be doing a post noLancaster sites asking LI transfers what they think about their move now that they're there.... I think I'm going to LOVE it there! But alas it is atleast 2 years away for me..

And if you're interested in selling your home send me a Private Message. I sell real estate!
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Old 09-15-2007, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Wantagh NY
690 posts, read 893,441 times
Reputation: 142
Thanks for your offer Tristan! I may take you up on your offer if this all works out...
Thanks for the advice!

Here is a bit more food for thought regarding my situation...her family:
Mom is retired and lives on a fixed income. Loves to spend however.
Brother 1 has a good job and retires in 6 years. Says he can't afford to stay on LI so he will move then.
Brother 2 has worked off the books most of his life and will be out of work soon due to health issues. (Brother 1 to carry his load when that happens...soon)
Sister 1 is also out of work due to health reasons. She has NO income and has filed for bankruptcy and has since charged up credit cards. Mother helps pay them and again brother 1 keeps the roof over head.

All of these people are in their 50's and live at home. Close knit? You tell me!
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Old 09-15-2007, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,217 posts, read 4,112,847 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleanmaxx Brian View Post
Thanks for your offer Tristan! I may take you up on your offer if this all works out...
Thanks for the advice!

Here is a bit more food for thought regarding my situation...her family:
Mom is retired and lives on a fixed income. Loves to spend however.
Brother 1 has a good job and retires in 6 years. Says he can't afford to stay on LI so he will move then.
Brother 2 has worked off the books most of his life and will be out of work soon due to health issues. (Brother 1 to carry his load when that happens...soon)
Sister 1 is also out of work due to health reasons. She has NO income and has filed for bankruptcy and has since charged up credit cards. Mother helps pay them and again brother 1 keeps the roof over head.

All of these people are in their 50's and live at home. Close knit? You tell me!

Wow.. really sounds like they should think about moving with you.. simply because anyplace else would be more affordable!!
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Old 09-15-2007, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Wantagh NY
690 posts, read 893,441 times
Reputation: 142
They cant...brother 1 needs to stay at his job for 6 years to be able to retire...
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Old 09-15-2007, 02:50 PM
 
991 posts, read 4,151,830 times
Reputation: 288
brother 1 has a lot on his plate!
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Old 09-15-2007, 03:25 PM
 
9 posts, read 19,200 times
Reputation: 13
Went through similar garbage with my in-laws when we decided to move to Florida. You have your family's welfare to consider. They will get over it. Tell the mrs. not to let them manipulate her with the guilt trip - show her this post if you have to. My hubby got over it. Eventually, even he admitted it was the best thing we could have done. You will be only a few hours away. Getting away from my needy, controlling in-laws was heaven sent. Eventually, they followed us to Florida, but with a different attitude, and, hubby didn't let them get 'under his skin' anymore either.
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Old 09-15-2007, 05:34 PM
 
5,160 posts, read 6,611,919 times
Reputation: 3520
Default Check out the land thoroughly

I've looked at Lancaster County for the past 2 years. Beautiful area, few well paying jobs except for healthcare. Your wife should have no problems getting employment.
Due to the the area of Lancaster being an estuary for the Chesapeake Bay, there are some building techniques and soil conservation techniques used in new developments that scare me. First of all, northern Lancaster county is basically limestone under the soil. Due to soil conservation needs, all water run off from roads are buried via large pipes directly into the ground. Acid rain plus limestone equals sink holes. Ephrata has had some especially in the Charity Gardens area. The realtors are very quiet about it. I only found out about it on page 26 of a google search. Make sure you get a good, independent engineer and some one with a specialty in soil settling.

Homeschooling is quite common in the area, so you should have no problems in that regard. Talking to people who live in the area, they admit they can be a little aloof, but that is just the way the are. Don't take it personally.

Lancaster City itself is pretty seedy in some areas. When we go to Willow valley and pass thru Lancaster City, the transition from City to Willow street area is like the change from Kansas to Oz. However, the area where it changes is steadily creeping further and further away from the city as its sprawl continues to grow.

As more people from NYC continue to move to Lancaster City, even more public transportation will become available. There is an Amtrak station there already. To cut some driving time some people take 222 up to Reading then 78 back to NY instaed of PA turnpike to NJ turnpike.

Vist often over the next few months especially concentrating on meeeting the people of the area. Go to Walmart, and see who lives/shops in the town You'll learn more about an area in 10 minutes in Walmart then in any other way!
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