Does anyone know what happened may 6th in shirley??? (Mastic: live in, train)

[kunk10]

yeah, i don't want this to devolve into some idea that parents in certain areas care more/less about their children than others. it's insulting. i grew up in a rough neighborhood because that's what we could afford and i like to think i was cared for and turned out fine. I am not finding magical parents here that care more than the parents in franklin square did.

[nancy thereader]

yeah, i don't want this to devolve into some idea that parents in certain areas care more/less about their children than others

No, you are probably too young to remember, but there was the terrible "Say You Love Satan" murder in Northport . The father of the killer was a guidance counselor in Cold Spring Harbor. No one (I hope anyway) really blamed the father who was heartbroken and died not long after that when he was still very young . There are bad and good kids everywhere.

[kunk10]

^i remember hearing that from a friend who lived there while it was going on.

[sheena12]

Originally Posted by nancy thereader

Have you ever been to Long Island?

Honestly, if you DON'T have that accent your the odd ball out. That's how I always thought of it.
You really do need to get out more Nancy!

My maternal grandparents had an apple orchard on the North Fork in the 1890s. My Dad's parents had a marina in Huntington in the 1920s & I was born and raised on Long Island & I have lived all over the place. Yes, I have been on LI, for more than sixty years. I am just now living temporarily on the West Coast. It's not the same and I miss Long Island very much.

I agree. We do not have this accent, nor do our children. I never ever felt like an "odd ball" because I was accent free.

Yes DH and I are originally from the North Shore. He is from Locust Valley, and I am from Oyster Bay.

Part of parenting can involve sheltering. When we lived there it was a temporary plan and it worked out well. Some people warned us against doing it. However, I knew people in the early "90s who continued to rent 2 and 3 bedroom apartments on the North Shore for $ 1200 - $18000 per month and still rent today.

Our house payment, altogether was under 700. Including everything. We made money and actively parented our kids.

They have no bad memories of S/M - they remember Smith Point, kite flying, the parks and our house.

None of us are in touch with anyone who we met while living there.
There was a lot of culture clash, and WE were the recipients of much snobism, exclusion, and derision.

People questioned why my husband was not work with his hands ( the gold standard of masculinity) where we were from, made intrusive suggestions about how we could hide our books, and make "improvements" on our home.

I was invited to a party once and I did not take a dish that they were familiar with, and no one ate it. They were rude about it too.
( I brought a shredded carrot salad with raisins, and a cucumber salad made with onions and sour cream. and homemade red potato salad) Foods my mother made in the '60s and '70s. They thought it was "weird" and said so.

Trust me, it goes both ways and blue collar people can be very exclusionary. The difference is, if we thought their food was odd we would not make a joke about it or hurt their feelings.

[sheena12]

Originally Posted by ydsavaged

Have you ever been to Long Island?

Honestly, if you DON'T have that accent your the odd ball out. That's how I always thought of it.
You really do need to get out more Nancy!

The accent has nothing to do with where you bought a house or what fancy north shore towns you live/lived, it's from where your from.
Are you honestly saying you know nobody from Brooklyn? o_O Literally 95% of the people I know have a long Island accent. Find it very hard to beleive...unless you only hang out with extremely wealthy transplants from other states - which judging by the towns you said you've lived in, is probably true.

I'm not saying everyone sounds as extreme as the LI Medium, but come on - the accent is there in 8 out of 10 people (NY natives, not counting people that moved here from other countries obviously).

To sum it up - I think you are weird if you don't have the accent. However, you have made it pretty clear that you have money and look down on normal middle class people like myself.

Babylon Village? lol. I'll take you up on that one any day. You must never leave the house.

NY native here. My family first came in the 1700s.

You have perfectly illustrated my point. There is a bigotry against people who are different in parts of LI. Shirley is one of them.

It's not about money. Many of the people we knew there had assistance with their down payments and quite a few earned more than us.

It is about values and class. Class has nothing to do with money.

[kunk10]

i have had a fair share of experiences like this. reverse classism

Originally Posted by sheena12

People questioned why my husband was not work with his hands ( the gold standard of masculinity) where we were from, made intrusive suggestions about how we could hide our books, and make "improvements" on our home.

I was invited to a party once and I did not take a dish that they were familiar with, and no one ate it. They were rude about it too.
( I brought a shredded carrot salad with raisins, and a cucumber salad made with onions and sour cream. and homemade red potato salad) Foods my mother made in the '60s and '70s. They thought it was "weird" and said so.

Trust me, it goes both ways and blue collar people can be very exclusionary. The difference is, if we thought their food was odd we would not make a joke about it or hurt their feelings.

[sheena12]

Originally Posted by 7Heaven

We have lived in both Shirley and Mastic and currently live in Yaphank. Our kids are nice well behaved kids with nice well behaved friends. They play sports, are involved in school, dress "normal" and make honor roll. They are not being raised in a bubble, they are being parented. They have rules, expectations and curfews. Kids from Shirley go to college too! Alfred, University of Scranton, D'Youville, University of Binghampton, Cortland and Ithaca just to name a few of the kids from Shirley we know that are away at school. You are sadly mistaken if you believe there are no "poorly parented" children in Ward Melville. Money hides issues it doesn't solve them. My parents live in a upscale town and the house down the block has a trust fund kid selling drugs out of it. Cars coming in/out all hours and some nice house parties all the local hs kids enjoy ;-)

I agree. There are poorly parented kids everywhere. Did I say that Ward Melville was exempt from that?

But there is a sort of sub culture there, that is unique. Do you see that at all? I didn't think it was horrible. The area has some great assets. The beach, Smith Point is one of the finest I've been to in my life. Including Hawaii. The library is great. There are some nice parks and places to rent canoes in nearby Brookhaven.

I moved there with an open mind. The "bunker mentality" set in when I met my neighbors and noticed how different their values were from mine.

Did you read about the mother who thought stealing was "normal for boys"? I doubt you think this. But I never met such a high concentration of people with really askew values.
.
I didn't know many trust fund kids in 3 Village. The whole time I lived there I only met one obnoxiously rich person who was a braggart.

I was "bragged at" way more in Shirley.

Honestly, I'm glad that you know college bound kids! Best of luck to them!

[bloominscranton]

ummmmm...just wondering what happened on the ladies block?

[sheena12]

I know. She seems to have disappeared.

[kayo_michael]

Why can't people here say "drawer"?

I got the same shock about that as I did in the South where people can't say "ask."