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Old 11-27-2013, 04:41 AM
 
176 posts, read 404,397 times
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We are trying to decide if a move would do more harm than good or more good than harm. What do you think?

We currently live in the Middle Country SD. Our house and yard are nice and definitely meet all of our needs in terms of space, comfort, and updates. It could be expanded/remodeled without much of a problem if we so desired. Neighbors are nice (though some people in the area are a little trashy) but all oft he neighbors kids are respectful and going to college. The other aspect is that our bills are VERY low. Between paying down the mort. and then refinancing and taxes just under 7k it makes the budget work very nicely. Mort/taxes combined are less than say 1500/mo. If I wanted to I could have the house paid for by the time my kids are 10-13 years old. They are currently 1 and 3. My wife is able to stay home and raise them without putting a terrible strain on our finances.

The issue is that we are in Middle Country, which is an average district at best. Not horrible, not violent, not disgusting, but it is not a premier district. The issue is that if we moved to say Three Village we would not have extra money to take the kids on trips, travel to the national parks as we want, have a boat etc. All of the extras would probably have to be sacrificed to pay the freight for a more expensive home with higher taxes. If we stay put I will also have more time off in the future to spend with family without financial worry. Moving will necessitate spending more time away from home.

My wife and I truly value education. Technically we CAN afford to live in a better district, but will have to sacrifice the ability to provide other valuable experiences for our kids such as a stay at home mom, educational travel, camps,dad taking more time off or getting home in time to do things with them, etc. A big part of us feels that since we will be involved in our kids' education and will provide lots of support and enrichment things will be fine no matter where we are. There is just some fear by not moving to the best possible district we can afford we are doing a disservice.

Thoughts? Sorry for the long explanation btw.
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Old 11-27-2013, 04:49 AM
 
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Education starts at home young man. Your answer lies in your second paragraph.
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Old 11-27-2013, 05:36 AM
 
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I agree. I think if you're an involved parent your kids will do just fine in an "average" district. And the financials you described are compelling.
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:54 AM
 
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I went to one of the worst school districts on Long Island, and I and all of my friends from high school are successful professionals* - no one has less than a Master's, and many of us are graduates of Ivy League and similar caliber schools. If you're cultivating an educational environment at home, they'll succeed regardless of the district, and your kids will be better off having a diversity of experiences that come with having some disposable income to do things like enroll them in science camp or violin lessons or whatever they're into. (Also, from a college admissions standpoint, the kid who's valedictorian of Middle Country is much more likely to get attention from select programs then the kid who's only top 25% at a place like Three Village - your kid is better off being a rockstar in a mediocre district, rather than a mediocre kid from a rockstar district, in that sense.)

Last issue to think about - how old are your kids? A friend of mine was relocated to a neighboring "blue ribbon" district for high school, and had an extremely difficult time socially because of how the other kids treated her for being from "bad" area. The negative repercussions of that have followed her into adulthood. If your kids are happy and thriving in Middle Country, I'd say leave it alone.

*This, of course, wasn't the "average" outcome for everyone in the district, my friends were honors students, but the point is, anyone I know of who came from a home with parents who were involved and placed a premium on education did just fine.
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Old 11-27-2013, 07:12 AM
 
429 posts, read 849,626 times
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As long as you feel that you live in a safe neighborhood, your kids are or can be happy and they have the potential to excel in the district they are at now, I wouldn't change a thing.

There's a lot to be said for involved parents and enriching life experiences. Personally, I don't think going to a "better" district would make up for the loss of those elements. They're so important and I think they're mostly the reason why you see kids in premiere districts sometimes fail or become addicted to drugs. School only covers so much of a kid's day. Don't underestimate the value of a strong support system and great work/life balance your current situation provides for you and your family. That's my advice.
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Old 11-27-2013, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Union County
6,150 posts, read 9,982,088 times
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This is usually a decision made during the home buying process... Did you intend to stay in that house and raise kids when you bought it?

Considering your overall situation, private schools might be the best answer.
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:47 AM
 
909 posts, read 1,830,408 times
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Really surprised there isn't any pro better district support in this thread with the way most of the these types of threads usually go. I am in a similar situation as the OP. I actually agree with most of the responces in this thread. Being able to afford to do fun things with your family is a big QOL issue. Another is living in a newer,better or bigger house. To me it's a no brainer to stay put and live life to the fullest instead of scraping by calling a weekend in the Catskills a "vacation". To each is own.
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:48 AM
 
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Education begins at home., not in the schools.

A good student will, like cream, rise to the top.

My father was a career Navy officer. I changed schools about every 1-1/2 years. Naturally, we didn't have a choice of schools, we went where we were told. On Long Island alone, I went to Smithtown, Mineola, Uniondale and North Shore. I excelled wherever I went because my education started at home and my parents drilled into our heads the importance of education. My father also believed that travel was educational and we certainly traveled because of the Navy, but also for family vacations.

I would stay where you are. The children are still young... and who knows what the future may bring for your career. A transfer perhaps, job change? You never know.
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Old 11-27-2013, 10:00 AM
 
791 posts, read 1,616,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galicia#1 View Post
Really surprised there isn't any pro better district support in this thread with the way most of the these types of threads usually go. I am in a similar situation as the OP. I actually agree with most of the responces in this thread. Being able to afford to do fun things with your family is a big QOL issue. Another is living in a newer,better or bigger house. To me it's a no brainer to stay put and live life to the fullest instead of scraping by calling a weekend in the Catskills a "vacation". To each is own.
I'd also add that, by being the "poorest" family in a district like Three Village, you're probably setting your kids up to be socially ostracized - it's an area where you'll routinely spot very young kids carrying/wearing absurdly priced luxury items, and Mom's got the luxury car to match. Your kid will probably also miss out on more important life experiences - vacations to new/interesting places, enrichment activities like summer camp and after school programs, etc. - if you scrape and scrimp to send them to 3V.

Yes, high-end school districts cultivate a "culture of success" that can be absent in more mediocre districts, but if you steer your kids appropriately, you can create that culture as a parent through outside activities (and in JH and HS, assuming your kid's academic performance is good, it'll be further encouraged because they'll be placed in advanced and honors courses where their primary exposure will be to other like-minded kids). The biggest "risk" of a mediocre district is that, if your kids aren't strong academically and don't get placed into those advanced and honors classes in junior high and high school, they'll be exposed to classmates whose priorities will be different and who may lead them astray. However, if that starts to happen, you always have the option of private school (4 years of HS tuition, although expensive, will cost you significantly less over 30 years than would moving to 3V on the off chance your kid hits a rough patch at 14-15).
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Old 11-27-2013, 10:30 AM
 
703 posts, read 1,168,860 times
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For many kids in high school, it's better to be a big fish in a small pond. Same is actually true for college, at least undergrad.

You know your kids. Are they motivated, either by you or themself? Do they have high standards for their work? Do they make good choices regarding friends? Do they love to learn?

If so, stay put and enrich their lives with your continued interest, the special trips, and developmental activities.
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