Moving back to Long Island from NC (New York, Islip: real estate, houses)

[nancy thereader]

We moved from Queens to Hicksville LI and we have been living here now for about 14 years and my wife and I to this day still feel like an outcast. Why? Well, lets start with the stuck up mothers in the schools that think there sh*t don't stink because there driving a Benz or BMW

In Hicksville ????? Are you sure you have the town right ?

[yeaitsme]

Originally Posted by threesons

Hi
I am not writing in this forum to get into a debate. I like to see if anyone has similar thoughts or may offer some encouragement. And I am not blind to the downside of moving. Yes we all can do the math and you don't have to be a CPA for this! Everyone has different feelings and reasons in different times in our lives.
But I do give credit to those that are courageous enough to try to improve there life. There is no reason to stay in a situation in which you are miserable each day just to prove a point. People tend to live in a bubble & not know that there is a whole world out there to explore.
And yes, the grass always look greener on the other side. That is why I would never move and increase my overhead. And as far as my husband is concerned, I certainly don't need to be in another state for him to go astray. It may make it easier but he has to live with himself. Keeping your spouse on close watch and distance does not do anything for your marriage. Both of us have jobs in which we do not have to be accountable every moment of the day. It is very easy for either one of us to find pleasure else where.

So that said, I would hope you can either give others thinking to move out of NY encouragement or constructive criticism.

NY CPA mom

You say you live in Nassau ??? Would moving to Suffolk with a more affordable house be doable and hubby would not have to leave his business?

[yeaitsme]

Originally Posted by threesons

My dad is selling his house in Manorville (exit 69)on the LIE.
Price high 7's
taxes $16k

Does not sound cheaper to me.
Taxes just kept going up because they had to buid schools to accomodate all the students.
Yes there are some parts of Suffolk that would be cheaper just like Nassau. BUT PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

See I was on your "side" until you said this. There are many decent areas of Suffolk that are way cheaper than $700k. You cannot begin to think of downsizing if your idea of a typical home is $700k. That is definitely keeping up with the Jones.

[sean sean sean sean]

Originally Posted by nancy thereader

We moved from Queens to Hicksville LI and we have been living here now for about 14 years and my wife and I to this day still feel like an outcast. Why? Well, lets start with the stuck up mothers in the schools that think there sh*t don't stink because there driving a Benz or BMW

In Hicksville ????? Are you sure you have the town right ?

Don't let the brown skin fool you, there's plenty of wealthy people in Hicksville.

[SteffensRule]

Reading all of these replies, it might make someone looking to leave Long Island have some second thoughts - Not me! I have lived on Long Island for 32 years and the following is my conclusions -

1. The Expense
- Most families do not make over 100K per year, and for the ones that do (I'm very fortunate to be in this category), we work our butts off to do it!
- Because of the rising costs on the Island, Our children will be forced to leave. In fact, in order to be a good mother or father, you actually need to encourage your children to seek out their own life somewhere else.
- Long Island is no longer booming, meaning that Real Estate prices rise due to proximity to the city and the fact that land is no longer an abundant resource here.
-Based on the amount I currently pay on car insurance, the reduction of 67% is enough to cover 8 months of my current LIPA bills.
- Based on the amount I currently pay for taxes, the reduction of 77% is enough to cover the remaining utilities I have, including LIPA, Oil Heat, Water Telephone, Cable, and Internet. Needless to say, that is based on Long Island Utility numbers, not the reduced North Carolina numbers.
- My mortgage reduces 62% and allows for 1700 additional square feet that my family desperately needs.
- My income declines by 10% but is offset by income taxes.

Time:
- My wife and I currently spend over three hours everyday commuting simply due to congestion, Long Island is the only place that 10 miles can take up to 45 minutes to get to. The time saved in our daily commute allows us to and our children to participate in so many more activities and family time. Even if we choose to work with those three hours spent previously commuting, we offset the 10% reduction in income, thus making previously wasted time into productive time. How much is your time worth? Is having one parent staying home worth losing the time the other one could spend?

Extension of our parents:
- Many of us grew up right on Long Island. This being said, it is all we have ever known. We watched Dad or Mom wake up early commute to work, and then return sometime late at night most likely. My parents never divorced, however, I know I was raised in a single parent home. I never once thought that my father ignored me or didn't want to spend time with us, but I did know that he worked like a dog providing a better life for us - where did that get us - a fear of leaving the Island, a fear of staking our own claim off the Island - a fear of creating our own lives. People may deny this fear, but what explanation could possibly be given to staying here. Can you say that you love the traffic, that you love the expense, that you love the job market, you love the people?

Long Island Residents:
- Long Island competes in a ridicules competition with NYC. We are consumed by materialism - the thought that owning the 52" plasma TV before your neighbor will make us feel good, that owning the new Lincoln Navigator is a sign of success. The truth be told is that its all a farce. Materialism equates to more debt and increased anxiety. Its easy to acquire on credit, however its more difficult to stay in that same lap of luxury as your minimum payments add year after year. It took me a long time to understand that regardless of how many toys you own, it won't make you happy - happiness can only come from yourself.

So:
- Do I think that moving is the answer to all of my problems? At times I do, while other times I don't. I am not disillusioned that once I move my life will be better, that the heavens will open and pour money into my bank account! I know times will be hard, I know starting my business in NC will be difficult, I know that my hours will be long and difficult at times - but I do know that my life will be my own. I know that my family is not staying on Long Island for the wrong reasons, I know that my move will be because of my own planning, my own research, and my own opinions based on everything available to me.
I'm sure that at times, we will miss Long Island, but the fact is that transportation is available, we can visit family and friends - and finally we can speak of more then past memories and feeling. Long Island is truly a one of a kind place, just not mine.

[rocafeller05]

Originally Posted by SteffensRule

Reading all of these replies, it might make someone looking to leave Long Island have some second thoughts - Not me! I have lived on Long Island for 32 years and the following is my conclusions -

1. The Expense
- Most families do not make over 100K per year, and for the ones that do (I'm very fortunate to be in this category), we work our butts off to do it!
- Because of the rising costs on the Island, Our children will be forced to leave. In fact, in order to be a good mother or father, you actually need to encourage your children to seek out their own life somewhere else.
- Long Island is no longer booming, meaning that Real Estate prices rise due to proximity to the city and the fact that land is no longer an abundant resource here.
-Based on the amount I currently pay on car insurance, the reduction of 67% is enough to cover 8 months of my current LIPA bills.
- Based on the amount I currently pay for taxes, the reduction of 77% is enough to cover the remaining utilities I have, including LIPA, Oil Heat, Water Telephone, Cable, and Internet. Needless to say, that is based on Long Island Utility numbers, not the reduced North Carolina numbers.
- My mortgage reduces 62% and allows for 1700 additional square feet that my family desperately needs.
- My income declines by 10% but is offset by income taxes.

Time:
- My wife and I currently spend over three hours everyday commuting simply due to congestion, Long Island is the only place that 10 miles can take up to 45 minutes to get to. The time saved in our daily commute allows us to and our children to participate in so many more activities and family time. Even if we choose to work with those three hours spent previously commuting, we offset the 10% reduction in income, thus making previously wasted time into productive time. How much is your time worth? Is having one parent staying home worth losing the time the other one could spend?

Extension of our parents:
- Many of us grew up right on Long Island. This being said, it is all we have ever known. We watched Dad or Mom wake up early commute to work, and then return sometime late at night most likely. My parents never divorced, however, I know I was raised in a single parent home. I never once thought that my father ignored me or didn't want to spend time with us, but I did know that he worked like a dog providing a better life for us - where did that get us - a fear of leaving the Island, a fear of staking our own claim off the Island - a fear of creating our own lives. People may deny this fear, but what explanation could possibly be given to staying here. Can you say that you love the traffic, that you love the expense, that you love the job market, you love the people?

Long Island Residents:
- Long Island competes in a ridicules competition with NYC. We are consumed by materialism - the thought that owning the 52" plasma TV before your neighbor will make us feel good, that owning the new Lincoln Navigator is a sign of success. The truth be told is that its all a farce. Materialism equates to more debt and increased anxiety. Its easy to acquire on credit, however its more difficult to stay in that same lap of luxury as your minimum payments add year after year. It took me a long time to understand that regardless of how many toys you own, it won't make you happy - happiness can only come from yourself.

So:
- Do I think that moving is the answer to all of my problems? At times I do, while other times I don't. I am not disillusioned that once I move my life will be better, that the heavens will open and pour money into my bank account! I know times will be hard, I know starting my business in NC will be difficult, I know that my hours will be long and difficult at times - but I do know that my life will be my own. I know that my family is not staying on Long Island for the wrong reasons, I know that my move will be because of my own planning, my own research, and my own opinions based on everything available to me.
I'm sure that at times, we will miss Long Island, but the fact is that transportation is available, we can visit family and friends - and finally we can speak of more then past memories and feeling. Long Island is truly a one of a kind place, just not mine.

Very well said!! I wish you all the luck on the big move.

[I'minformed2]

Why NC? Just curious...is it because that is where everyone else you know in LI is moving to for a lower cost of living/ better quality life etc? Having just returned to upstate NY after almost 13 years in NC...I have to say you long islanders moing to NC in droves need some insight. How do you think Long Island got the way it is now?...your parents or grandparents all moved there in droves from the city to the "land of opportunity"...with bigger, more affordable houses, bigger yards, and more space. Guess what...you guys are doing the same exact thing now to NC...and in a few years. NC will be in the same situation Long Island is in now. I would strongly suggest you go somewhere else, somwhere that isn't "the IN place to move"; you'll be grateful for it in the future. NC is headed down the same path as LI, NJ, CA, and FL did in the past, and the only people who deny this are the recent or near future transplants to NC from the aforementioned areas. Don't follow the herd to where the grass appears to be greener; because that green grass won't be there for long.

[yeaitsme]

Originally Posted by SteffensRule

Reading all of these replies, it might make someone looking to leave Long Island have some second thoughts - Not me! I have lived on Long Island for 32 years and the following is my conclusions -

1. The Expense
- Most families do not make over 100K per year, and for the ones that do (I'm very fortunate to be in this category), we work our butts off to do it!
- Because of the rising costs on the Island, Our children will be forced to leave. In fact, in order to be a good mother or father, you actually need to encourage your children to seek out their own life somewhere else.
- Long Island is no longer booming, meaning that Real Estate prices rise due to proximity to the city and the fact that land is no longer an abundant resource here.
-Based on the amount I currently pay on car insurance, the reduction of 67% is enough to cover 8 months of my current LIPA bills.
- Based on the amount I currently pay for taxes, the reduction of 77% is enough to cover the remaining utilities I have, including LIPA, Oil Heat, Water Telephone, Cable, and Internet. Needless to say, that is based on Long Island Utility numbers, not the reduced North Carolina numbers.
- My mortgage reduces 62% and allows for 1700 additional square feet that my family desperately needs.
- My income declines by 10% but is offset by income taxes.

Time:
- My wife and I currently spend over three hours everyday commuting simply due to congestion, Long Island is the only place that 10 miles can take up to 45 minutes to get to. The time saved in our daily commute allows us to and our children to participate in so many more activities and family time. Even if we choose to work with those three hours spent previously commuting, we offset the 10% reduction in income, thus making previously wasted time into productive time. How much is your time worth? Is having one parent staying home worth losing the time the other one could spend?

Extension of our parents:
- Many of us grew up right on Long Island. This being said, it is all we have ever known. We watched Dad or Mom wake up early commute to work, and then return sometime late at night most likely. My parents never divorced, however, I know I was raised in a single parent home. I never once thought that my father ignored me or didn't want to spend time with us, but I did know that he worked like a dog providing a better life for us - where did that get us - a fear of leaving the Island, a fear of staking our own claim off the Island - a fear of creating our own lives. People may deny this fear, but what explanation could possibly be given to staying here. Can you say that you love the traffic, that you love the expense, that you love the job market, you love the people?


Long Island Residents:
- Long Island competes in a ridicules competition with NYC. We are consumed by materialism - the thought that owning the 52" plasma TV before your neighbor will make us feel good, that owning the new Lincoln Navigator is a sign of success. The truth be told is that its all a farce. Materialism equates to more debt and increased anxiety. Its easy to acquire on credit, however its more difficult to stay in that same lap of luxury as your minimum payments add year after year. It took me a long time to understand that regardless of how many toys you own, it won't make you happy - happiness can only come from yourself.
So:
- Do I think that moving is the answer to all of my problems? At times I do, while other times I don't. I am not disillusioned that once I move my life will be better, that the heavens will open and pour money into my bank account! I know times will be hard, I know starting my business in NC will be difficult, I know that my hours will be long and difficult at times - but I do know that my life will be my own. I know that my family is not staying on Long Island for the wrong reasons, I know that my move will be because of my own planning, my own research, and my own opinions based on everything available to me.
I'm sure that at times, we will miss Long Island, but the fact is that transportation is available, we can visit family and friends - and finally we can speak of more then past memories and feeling. Long Island is truly a one of a kind place, just not mine.

Great post but the highlighted area is what I disagree with. Nationally people are up to their eyes in debt. The keeping up with the Jones' is not just specific to Long Island. Companies offer so many "incentives" for that reason. Big business thrives on those who max themselves financially. Teach your children that material things are not EVERYTHING and they will grow up not needing to base self worth on what they have. In my opinion, moving will not stop this behavior. It is a habit that is hard to break.

[GroverCleveland]

Wow, reading this thread brings forth many emotions. It's been a long time since I have lived on Long Island. My wife and I never left because we disliked our lives there, just because of the many financial reasons that have already been mentioned numerous times in this thread.

We moved to Tennessee to escape the lofty cost of housing and living and the move has proved good for us in many ways. We were able to purchase a brand new 2000 sq. ft. home for under 150K. As most of you know, that NEVER would have happened on Long Island.

Unfortunately, that is where any of the positives stop. We find the people and the culture here to be extremely annoying. I will leave it at that in order to avoid offending anyone who is of the southern culture.

We made great money here, comparable to what we were making on LI actually, about 130K household. And with the much lower cost of living, we were able to bank for the last few years. Now we are planning a move out of here.

Unfortunately, we aren't going to return to Long Island though. I still have many fond memories and absolutely love Long Island life, but many of the points that SteffensRule made were completely on point.

I do disagree with a few things though. The "keeping up with the Jonses" part happens everywhere. My neighbors here in TN would probably be down to CircuitCity in a heartbeat if they found out I purchased a new 52" plasma. Also, the traffic on L.I.E isn't half as bad as what I have experienced here in Middle TN where people seem completely clueless on the road. I read somewhere that there are more vehicular fatalities in Middle Tennessee per capita than any other region of the country. I don't know if that is true or not, but I don't have a hard time whatsoever believing it.

The drive from my town (Murfreesboro) to the closest major metro area (Nashville) is comparable to the drive from Suffolk County to Manhattan and it takes twice as long as that drive ever took me. At least the traffic on the L.I.E moves. It's bumper to bumper, but it moves. Down here, you'll be at a dead stop for 15 minutes for no reason and then traffic will just start moving again. You keep looking for the accident or the sight that was causing all the rubbernecking and then you realize that there wasn't anything, the people just had what I refer to as a "southern moment".....

Anyway, I would move back to Long Island in a heartbeat if I could afford life there. But the bottom line for me is that I would rather visit 3 times a year with the excess of money I have from living elsewhere than try to keep up with the rat race that exists there.

I'll always love Islander/Ranger games, trips to "THE END", New York pizza and bagels, the Port Jeff Ferry and everything else that I associate with Long Island... but I'll have to appreciate those things from afar.

[tkridel]

Originally Posted by lisanyfl12

There is no place like Long Island. I miss it dearly

Same here. I left in 1988, a few months after graduating high school. But I can't justify the cost of living, particularly the taxes. My parents left LI shortly after I did. In fact, they probably would have left years earlier, except that they wanted me to finish high school first.

I still consider myself a LIer, even though I've now spent more than half of my life living someplace else.