Do both you and your spouse have to work to live in LI. (Commack: rental, health insurance)

[AnthonyNYC]

This topic came up with a few co-workers and it's surprising how many married couples (with children) both have to work to make ends meet in Long Island. Most of these couples have children and we talked about how much it affects their children spending x amount of time in daycare etc but they have no choice if they want to stay on Long Island.

I'm sure most older generation folks on here remember when their dad worked and their mom would take care of the family. Surprisingly that is rare nowadays in Long Island if you bought your home recently.

I was curious to see how many of the forum members here that own their own homes are from households where both adults are working (with or without children). For those that do not have children yet but are both working, have you thought about what it will be like when you have children and daycare etc?

I know quite a few families that have moved out of Long Island for this specific reason and want to know how the rest of us feel.

Thanks,

Anthony

[max7418]

Anthony,

My wife and I who will both be 30 in a few months work full time jobs. I don't really see a problem with it because almost all of our friends are in the same position. I don't know when it changed but we have always known that if we want that 500,000 house, 2 incomes are essential. My wife works for Bear Sterns and I run automated trading systems for a hedge fund.

We do know one couple our age where the mother stays at home. They live in an illegal rental in west babylon. They are fine with the fact that they won't be buying a house for a few years. I think it really matters what is important to a family. There are many trade offs when one family member works vs 2 and I really don't know which is better.

[TheImportersWife]

We own a home and my husband is the sole provider while I'm a stay-at-home mom to one child (2nd is due in March.) We both feel very fortunate that his job/career allows me to be a stay-at-home mom.

[TeaJay]

My husband and I will both have to work when we eventually move back to LI.

I think young couples starting out now (and within the last few years) are in a much tougher spot than couples who bought houses say, around 2000 or so. My husband and I didn't meet till we were in our early 30s, and got married in '04. If we want a house, we both have to work (we both teach). My brother, on the other hand, bought a nice house in 2000 for a reasonable price. He and his wife are expecting, and even though their income is likely similar to ours, my SIL will probably be able to stay home if she chooses. Their mortgage payment is probably half of what ours will be.

IMO, it's the mortgages and taxes that really make it necessary now for both people to work, not the overall cost of living. We are not extravagent, drive modest cars and aren't into "toys" but on one salary, we'd live on ramen noodles and pray that the cars stayed in good condition and none of our pets became really ill.

[okaydorothy]

We both work. But we have it good. I am self employed and work from home so I can be home with the kids when they get off the bus. Dh works about 50 hours in the season.
Its also good as if the kids are sick, I can stay at home but still work but still be here with them.

I know I am lucky. We did daycare a few years ago as the kids were toddlers and into everything (at that stage I had an office outside the home). After paying about $1600 per month for 6 months I got a friend to babysit the kids.

dorothy

[Jrprofess]

Originally Posted by AnthonyNYC

This topic came up with a few co-workers and it's surprising how many married couples (with children) both have to work to make ends meet in Long Island. Most of these couples have children and we talked about how much it affects their children spending x amount of time in daycare etc but they have no choice if they want to stay on Long Island.

I'm sure most older generation folks on here remember when their dad worked and their mom would take care of the family. Surprisingly that is rare nowadays in Long Island if you bought your home recently.

I was curious to see how many of the forum members here that own their own homes are from households where both adults are working (with or without children). For those that do not have children yet but are both working, have you thought about what it will be like when you have children and daycare etc?

I know quite a few families that have moved out of Long Island for this specific reason and want to know how the rest of us feel.

Thanks,

Anthony

I know of many folks who took their LI house equity elsewhere and were able to keep one parent at home after the move; but I also know plenty of couples throughout the country who are in the same "two earners" scenario. If your choice is to live outside of a major metro area (Long Island or otherwise), and if you are in the market for a home now, as opposed to maybe buying '99 or earlier chances are you would have to consider more than one income.

My wife teaches which is a nice balance with the children's calendar and schedules but it is still of course hectic at times. One of our reasons for continuing with the dual income is also the need and desire to save for an education that will probably cost 250k a semester by the time they are in school...

[KellyFG]

I live in an area of LI that has lower priced homes, I'd say its 50/50 between two parents working & SAHMs in my neighborhood. Not too many people here lease a new car every two years, they are much more likely to own a huge RV or power boat. My DH & I both work, but our kids are older so no day care costs. Could we live on just my DHs income? Probably but he'd have to work till he was 80 & it would be unlikely that we could save at the rate we do. Besides with no little children at home, I'd be bored out of my mind everyday.
I'm in the dental profession & years ago I worked in an affluent north shore nassau county pediatric office. I was always perplexed by the number of children that arrived for their dental appointments driven by their caribean/west indian nanny and when the kids spoke they often had a the same slight accent as the nanny.
Now I realize some woman work because they are career driven, and that is fine. However maybe if they turned "the lifestyle" down a notch they'd be able to bring little Josh to his dental appointment themselves. KWIM?
I think even some of the "regular" income people on LI should take a step back & realize that buying into a keeping up with the joneses neighborhood is a recipe for disaster unless you earn a great living easily.
I currently work in an upper middle class area & just the other night I had a parent complain that they didn't want to pay $175 for the repair we just did to their beautiful 16 yr old daughter's broken front tooth that took an hour of our time. This nonsense from the parent went on in front of the child, as if to say to her-"you're front tooth isn't worth $175 to us"
While we were working on the child's tooth the mother & father were taking about their upcoming family trip to hawaii & their new luxury kitchen remodel. People have their heads up their azzes about what is important & what's not.

[slynn41072]

I was a stay at home mom, but hubby and I wanted to trade up from our starter home in Commack. In order to do that I would have had to put my kids in daycare and work full time. We decided to move to Cary, North Carolina 5 years ago. I am a stay at home mom, have a beautiful home (much nicer than any home I could have had on LI), great schools and great quality of life. I stay home with my kids and have a great social life with all the activities right in my neighborhood. Friends I have that still live on LI both need to work to make ends meet and they live in dump homes (IMO) and don't get much quality time with the kids. The friends that are SAHM are struggling, hoping for a miracle. We get back to LI about once or twice a year (do the city thing, visit family) and we are done. Most of the people who live in our area are from up north and we just shake our heads in disbelief what people are willing to sacrifice to say they live on LI. Sad really. If you are wealthy and can afford it great, but if you need to work two jobs just to get by, what are you thinking? I would be crying if I had to move back to LI. BTW - we actually make more money now than when we left LI(that seems to be the biggest excuse to stay in Ny).

[NickL28]

Not only do both Husband and Wife need to work to live on Long Island (but any other part of the NYC / CT / NJ Tri State Metro area) but each must have the right job in order to get ahead. You have to be making in the six figures each just to afford a basic $600,000 home (which doesn't get you must in Nassau & in Suffolk west of Ronkonkoma).

Also, you know that here career is everything. People juge you by where you work, what you do, how long you have been with the company, but most importantly - How much money you make as well as the Car you drive & the clothes you wear. If god forbid you choose not to work, people think there is something wrong with you. If you are not in finance, accounting, or make six figures in construction or trades you are viewed as inferior.

This really isn't the place where you can raise kids on a low six figure salary, and I think one in the high five figures is out of the question even in Queens these days.

[NickL28]

Originally Posted by TeaJay

My husband and I will both have to work when we eventually move back to LI.

I think young couples starting out now (and within the last few years) are in a much tougher spot than couples who bought houses say, around 2000 or so. My husband and I didn't meet till we were in our early 30s, and got married in '04. If we want a house, we both have to work (we both teach). My brother, on the other hand, bought a nice house in 2000 for a reasonable price. He and his wife are expecting, and even though their income is likely similar to ours, my SIL will probably be able to stay home if she chooses. Their mortgage payment is probably half of what ours will be.

IMO, it's the mortgages and taxes that really make it necessary now for both people to work, not the overall cost of living. We are not extravagent, drive modest cars and aren't into "toys" but on one salary, we'd live on ramen noodles and pray that the cars stayed in good condition and none of our pets became really ill.

Young couples now are ONLY in a tougher spot because of the crazy amount of consumer debt held much of it for wants not needs. And easy credit & non existent lending standards drove up housing prices such that you need to be making at least $150,000 just to qualify to buy a tiny 3 bedroom home is any halfway decent area.

How does one pay for all these toys after you must pay for real 'grownup' expenses like Housing, Food, Insurance, Health Care, Gas, Groceries?? It goes on credit cards. Much of it is an act since appearances are everything and younger people would rather starve & go without health insurance than not being able to buy a new cell phone, or a pair of designer jeans from Nordstrom every other day or so.