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Given your objective function and the constraints there is no solution. If you are adamant about not relocating and there are few employment opportunities then you need to retrain (I.e. eliminate the constraint that you must work as a civil engineer at a civil engineering firm). They way to do this mid-career without starting completely over us to examine your existing experience and skill set and then enhance it in order to transition to a new career.
Off the top of my head, I'm guessing you have project management and technical writing skills as well as knowledge of local building codes. You could enhance your project management skills by getting certified by PMI, with many classes online. Many large organizations of all types need general project managers.
In a different direction, who are your firm's clients? For every service provider there's a buyer. Who on the client side works with your firm? After you build something someone has to operate and maintain it. Facilities managers? Safety inspectors?
Also, you're surrounded by houses. Is there any way you can cross train to enable you to work for a firm that does residential applications? Fix drainage issues, complex HVAC, retaining walls, etc.
You can search job boards like indeed.com using your zip code plus a skill plus salary filter. Find out who's hiring people with the skill you'd like to use as your transition skill then find out what other skills you need to acquire. Set up informational interviews with people and a find out if its possible to switch fields.
This is barebones advice, just to help you think out of the box. A good career or life coach may really help you make a career switch that will be more satisfying while enabling you to live the life you want to lead.
Your narrow views are limiting your potential, and drive, and you see no issue restricting yourself now for the good of a family life which you don't even have yet.
Very well put Ovi! Goes for anyone who feels they're trapped when it's really just restrictions they've put on themselves. Sometimes you have to give something up, even for a little while, to be able to get closer to the life you want.
Ok, then I'll do the math for you. At most civil engineering firms in NYC, if you want to keep your job, you are expected, at an absolute minimum, to work from 7 AM to 5 PM. Yes, I am aware that is more than 8 hours even after subtracting a lunch break, which many employees don't even take.
Taking into account the best possible scenario, if I had a job at One Penn Plaza (many engineering firms are located there) and was "only" working 7 AM to 5 PM, I would have to take the train from Ronkonkoma at 5:29 AM and arrive in Penn Station at 6:38 AM. The next train would arrive at 6:58 AM, which would not give enough time to be at my desk by 7 AM. To take that train, I would want to leave home at 5 AM. Assuming an hour to get ready in the morning and eat breakfast, I would have to get up no later than 4 AM. It is generally recommended that people sleep for 8 hours. But the minimum recommended sleep seems to be 6 hours. So lets say I "only" sleep for 6 hours. In order to get up at 4 AM, I would have to go to bed at 10 PM.
If I leave work at 5:00 PM, the earliest train I could take leaves Penn Station at 5:22 PM, and arrives in Ronkonkoma at 6:38 PM. So the earliest I'd be home would be 7:00 PM. That leaves only 3 hours for dinner, household chores, and exercise. And that is assuming I sleep only 6 hours, that I have a job in One Penn Plaza, and that I "only" have to work 7 AM to 5 PM.
Seems to me that is merely existing, and not really living.
I know many working parents at engineering (and accounting, advertising, construction, financial, legal, and publishing) firms that are able to work flexible schedules. Most employers are aware that times have changed and that with both parents working more often these days, they in turn need to make accommodations. THIS IS VERY COMMON. Your fatal flaw is that you're assuming the worst without doing any actual investigating. How many interviews have you had with NYC firms?
relax chicken little, 1-2 activities or even slightly more than that is hardly "over-scheduling". Youth sports are sort of common in our society.
and if your activity took place during dinner time, what happened? Sounds like you weren't very active.
what a ridiculous exaggeration.
A bit off topic, but my one son (7 yo) plays baseball which has 3 games a week, not including practice(s). (Over the top in my opinion for young children, but there aren't many alternatives.) Soccer has 1-2 games a week and 1 practice a week.
My oldest daughter (8 yo) plays soccer which has 2 practices a week, 1-2 games a weekend which are at least 20-30 minutes in driving time just to get there. In the winter there's basketball, practice once a week and games 1-2x a weekend.
Thankfully my 4 yo's soccer is only once a weekend.
Then there's religious education once a week for two of my children.
I try and have them all (including our 17 month old) in bed by 7:30, but homework & studying often keeps us up until 9:30-10 (the oldest mainly) because my children don't get off the bus until 4pm.
^ are those travel teams? Because they require a lot more commitment and you know that going in. Town programs are typically 2 days a week at most and just provide for fun instead of high competition. But it's possible some towns take their sports much more seriously. We saw that when we joined a tournament and other team's coaches were yelling at their 5-6 year olds. Can't have it both ways I guess.
A bit off topic, but my one son (7 yo) plays baseball which has 3 games a week, not including practice(s). (Over the top in my opinion for young children, but there aren't many alternatives.) Soccer has 1-2 games a week and 1 practice a week.
My oldest daughter (8 yo) plays soccer which has 2 practices a week, 1-2 games a weekend which are at least 20-30 minutes in driving time just to get there. In the winter there's basketball, practice once a week and games 1-2x a weekend.
Thankfully my 4 yo's soccer is only once a weekend.
Then there's religious education once a week for two of my children.
I try and have them all (including our 17 month old) in bed by 7:30, but homework & studying often keeps us up until 9:30-10 (the oldest mainly) because my children don't get off the bus until 4pm.
Each child isn't over scheduled...BUT I AM.
2 of my kids are heavily involved in travel sports and the schedule can get a bit ridiculous sometimes, but I'm all for pushing them as long as they're still having fun and can get their homework done. It certainly beats playing Minecraft or whatever else kids do when they're sitting at home doing nothing. And yes, my kids spend plenty of time with the other kids in my neighborhood riding bikes and other "unstructured" activities. So dinner is often "on the go" which is fine IMO. After all, the benefits of competitive team sports outweigh any wisdom my wife and I might impart over a 25 minute meal.
^ are those travel teams? Because they require a lot more commitment and you know that going in. Town programs are typically 2 days a week at most and just provide for fun instead of high competition. But it's possible some towns take their sports much more seriously. We saw that when we joined a tournament and other team's coaches were yelling at their 5-6 year olds. Can't have it both ways I guess.
Only my DD's soccer is travel. Thankfully this will be her last season. But even the local teams expect practice 2x a week and have games 1-2 a weekend.
Parents are nuts when it comes to sports. The insanity starts at 4.
Soccer schedules are the worst. My kids hated that sport - all 3 of them - and I'm grateful. We've steered DD to indoor, climate controlled sports lol.
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